Blood Ties: The Devil on Lifetime

A LITTLE OVER a year ago now, I was sitting comfortably in my little condo, taking a last pass on one of my freelance Rent-A-Goalie scripts. In the back of my head I wondered what I was going to do next. I'd finished my work for Across The River To Motor City and the series had wrapped shooting. I wasn't going to be involved in the post. I had expectations of trying to develop through the winter and try to take things from there.

Then I took a call from Peter Mohan. Peter had been one of the Exec Producer/Showrunner mentors when I went to the Canadian Film Centre. We'd seen each other around and about for several years at various events. We'd talked about working together maybe a couple of years earlier, when Peter was trying to get a series off the ground based on the Vicki Nelson vampire books.

I knew the books, had even read a couple when I was a producer at the Canadian Space Channel. Tanya Huff wrote vampire books set in my Toronto. And the novelty value of that was enough to make me dip into them. And they were a lot of fun. I'd read a few of Peter's development scripts and got excited. This could be a really fun show to work on. But the funding didn't come through, and the project wobbled and went away. Which bummed me out a little.

Cut to a year or so later, when the late CHUM announced its production slate. ATR got six eps, and lo and behold, Blood Ties was back with 22. But this time, the aggressively Toronto-set series was going to be shot in Vancouver. WTF?

Canadian TV, man. The product is sometimes wobbly, sometimes sublime -- but the story of how it gets made is always a tale or two.

The timing and my comittment to ATR took me out of the running for consideration on Blood Ties, which bummed me out slightly.

So that late November (may have been early December) call from Peter Mohan was fortuitous indeed. One of the BT writers -- a friend of mine -- had decided to leave the show at the Christmas hiatus to come back to Toronto. Would I be interested in replacing her?

Well, hell yeah!

So it was that in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I immersed myself in early cuts of the show, and a few scripts here and there. I met with Peter when he was back in Toronto, and he got me working on my first outline. When I went back, we'd be shooting episode 13. There were outlines for 14 and 15, and a vague idea for 16. The episode I was assigned was Episode 17. And it was a doozy.

Without spoiling too much, I got handed the opportunity to introduce a major character from Henry Fitzroy's past. It was a kid in a candy store moment, and also a big gulp -- because I knew this would be one that was pored over and pored over by fans because of its significance.

It also allowed me to play with one of the vampire tropes that Tanya had added to the lexicon that I found most interesting: the concept of vampire territoriality. And I also wanted to introduce a little interesting contrast into the mix. The vampire on Blood Ties isn't broody; Henry's comfortable with what he is. A great departure from the dominant Anne Rice view of the genre. Anyway, I thought some sort of nod to that more delicate and dominant interpretation would be fun to tweak.

In those heady days over Christmas, as I was getting to know the characters a bit more, I dove further into Tanya's original work -- re-reading the first book and blasting my way through all the others. I found myself really liking the Short Stories in particular. Because we'd optioned the books and the plots in the books (except the character of Tony) we could use details from them as we saw fit. When I got stuck on my outline, I found a neat plot twist courtesy of one of the Tanya stories. So big shout out to Tanya Huff - thanks again.

My outline changed a lot before we went to draft, and the draft changed a lot from First to Second and then Production. The amazing thing about a good Showrunner like Peter Mohan is that it's fairly easy to see where he's going in terms of notes. He's clear about what he wants, and the tone adjustments to some key scenes really made my script a whole lot better. (I don't want to say what those adjustments are, because that's really spoiler-y. Suffice to say that I think Peter was right. The episode's way better because of the direction he took it in.)

The usual production things changed the script too. Having to write for the venue changed some scenes. But we wound up with a great guest cast, and a really satisfying shoot. And most of my words survived, and the moments that were my favorite are there in the cut -- so, yay!

The last part of the puzzle came into place for me when I met and started working with Andy Mikita, the Director. Mikita's a veteran of Stargate. He's a great actor's director and really wonderfully collaborative. He'd come to my office and be excited about how he wanted to stage a scene and he'd get me excited about it too -- the enthusiasm was way infectious. Andy's staging suggested triggered some rewrites that made the scenes even better. I remember thinking during the shoot for this show, "wow. this is the way the whole thing's supposed to work, and feel!"

Finally, I simply can't say enough good about Kyle Schmid, the young actor who plays Henry. Ep. 17 is a big Henry show. I sat in Peter's office and worked through concerns he had about one scene, and saw the intensity in his face, the concentration. It's an amazing thing when you see an actor work through, get a scene, and realize and decide how they can play it. When they're at their best, and they ask for a few tweaks to this, or to that -- a lot of writers roll their eyes, and sometimes the objections are indeed rollworthy. But somtimes, a couple of small changes, and you can suddenly see the scene lock into place -- right there on their face. And that moment is awesome, and makes me realize why I love actors. (Within reason, I mean.) In its own way, this was a different show for Christina, too. And her concerns led me to a last minute, extra-special plot twist, that's actually a callback too. Christina plussed the show! How great is that?

Everything about my Blood Ties experience was like this. I learned from a fantastic showrunner. I had a mountain of laughs. I got to discover Vancouver, rain and all, and even start to nurse a certain fondness for the place (though there's a couple of people I'd appreciate you not telling about that.)

My time there changed my life -- socially and professionally. I made new friends. I had good times. I broadened my horizons, made an incredible connection and I laughed more than I ever have when I was working. Ever. It was a happy time. I think that shows through the work.

Thanks to Peter, and Tanya, and Eriksen and Heaton and McDonald and the wonderful crew and everybody else that made my time there possible.

So, Lifetime fans, I hope you enjoy The Devil You Know.

I'm very proud of it. It's a whole lot of fun.

Am I Next, or Just Hot?

Across the River To Motor City, my six-part miniseries, gets some love from Playback:

HOT

Game shows
Global has a good thing going with redos like its Are You Smarter Than a Canadian 5th Grader? Expect more of the same if the WGA strike goes long

NOT

Wealthy jerks
The Darlings and the Desperate CEOs are slumming on the A-Channels these days, after Dirty Sexy Money and Big Shots failed to click on CTV

NEXT

Across the River to Motor City
The beautiful and fascinating six-part mystery by Devine Entertainment and Jonsworth Productions arrives on Citytv stations Nov. 20 and 22.

Harlan's Sharp Teeth: "There Is No Publicity Value."

WORD from the crankiest, awesomest writer of them all. Hat tip to Karen Walton.

From "Dreams With Sharp Teeth: A Film About Harlan Ellison."

Context

THE CURRENT STRIKE by the WGA is not happening in a vacuum. It's the result of years of regulatory and corporate moves that have changed the fundamental nature of the American Television business. For a good backgrounder on how that business has changed -- and many think, been damaged irreparably, take a gander at this article from top TV Exec Producer/Writer Marshall Herskovitz. Herskovitz and his partner, Ed Zwick have overseen many programs over the last decades, including the seminal 80's dramedy thirtysomething, Once & Again, Relativity, and My So Called Life.

This is not about how we were treated but rather something much larger: How a confluence of government policy and corporate strategy is literally poisoning the TV business.

It started in 1995 when the Federal Communications Commission abolished its long-standing "finsyn" rules (that's financial interest and syndication, for those unfamiliar with the term), allowing networks for the first time to own the programs they broadcast. Before that, under classic antitrust definitions, the networks had been confined to the role of broadcaster, paying a license fee to production companies for the right to broadcast programs just two times. The production companies owned all subsequent rights. In the mid-1990s there were 40 independent production companies making television shows. If a particular network didn't like a show -- as famously happened with "The Cosby Show" many years ago -- the production company could take it to another network.

But not after 1995. The abolition of the old rules set in motion an ineluctable process, one that has negatively affected every creative person I know in television. Today there are zero independent production companies making scripted television. They were all forced out of business by the networks' insistence -- following the FCC's fin-syn ruling -- on owning part or all of every program they broadcast.

The most profound change resulting from that ruling is the way networks go about the business of creating programming. Networks today exert a level of creative control unprecedented in the history of the medium. The stories my friends tell me would make me laugh if the situation weren't so self-defeating. Network executives routinely tell producers to change the color of the walls on sets; routinely decide on the proper wardrobe for actors; routinely have "tone" meetings with directors on upcoming pilots; routinely give notes on every page of a script. (When we did "thirtysomething" in the late '80s, we never received network notes.) And by the way, they have every right to do these things. As owners, they have a responsibility to satisfy themselves that their product is competitive and successful.

The problem, of course, is that these executives often have little background or qualification for making creative decisions. They are guided by market research and -- they want to believe -- a learned intuition about what the public wants. This season's new shows have been a good indicator of how successful that strategy is: Even before the current writer's strike, virtually every new show was struggling.

I actually wanted to go and quote more here but in going back over the article I had a hard time figuring out what to leave out. Herskovitz touches on a lot of interesting points: how the abolition of the "Fairness Doctrine" in 1985 killed TV news and left Americans less informed (and I think added to the generally poisonous state of American political discourse today,) why creator's rights actually do benefit people as a whole, and how the six media conglomerates are overreaching on the internet. It's very readable.

The impetus for the article is this. The new Zwick/Herskovitz series, Quarterlife, is going to MySpace and its own place on the net. That's what's interesting about this strike too. If the big congloms alienate all their talent, there may just come a time down the road where the talent does an end run against them. The coverage points to the unasailable position of the studios and nets -- how they can laugh off a shutdown of the season. Don't be so sure. That ivory tower is built on some pretty shifty mud.

The Office is Closed

IT'S THEME DAY here on Dead Things on Sticks. From My office, we go to The Office. Specifically, the volley from the writer/producers of that popular NBC show. And since everyone knows that people like to hear from actors not writers, as a bonus, you know, some of these writers are actually both.

"You're watching this on the internet. A thing that pays us zero dollars."

If you still feel you don't understand the issues in this strike, let them explain it to you. Specifically, what it's like to be told that the show that's airing online, right now, making money -- is really just "promotional."



See? There, slowly, the truth starts to wend its way out, as the communicators start to communicate. The very thing you're taking such a hard line on, AMPTP, is the thing that's gonna turn sentiment against you, and expose your greed.

As Mr. Burns would say, "exxxxcellent."

Of course, then he'd release the hounds. Wonder what's next from the megamillion corps? Please, not Peter Chernin.

(H/T to Sean Reycraft)

Obsessed by the Window

I HAVE JUST over two weeks left on The Border. So it's probably time to talk about my little office. I love my office. It's small and it's not ideal -- the writer's office is down the hall from the production office proper, and frequently they forget about us. Which can sometimes be good (lack of drama, privacy) and sometimes bad (call sheets, coffee runs, lunch.)

Couriers, actors, and the generally illiterate frequently miss the nineteen signs on the door directing them where to go, and come in and ask directions or try to drop off resumes, packages, and, you know...uh..whatever...hate literature. And I'm the first person they come to.

It's a small thing, to be sure, but at least ten times this summer people barged in and interrupted me in the middle of a run on a script, and kind of pooched my train of thought. Not cool. Here's a helpful hint: if you ever see a sign saying, "writer's office," or "story department," and you go in, and the first thing you see is somebody with brow furrowed like a pounding on a keyboard -- make sure you're in the right place before you interrupt. Just saying.

My office has also got this weird thing with ventilation. There are four offices in a row down the hallway. The offices on either end get all the heat or cold -- so in the summer I was freezing all the time and now that the weather's turned cold I sometimes feel myself losing consciousness as I sit at my desk, before I realize that's probably due to the fact that it's ninety-two degrees in here. (I maintain that's also the thing that finally killed my plant, Bob. Bob died a couple weeks back. Sorry, Bob.)

What my office does have is a window. It looks out into the parking lot. I can see the sky (important) and also when the really good parking places become available (also important.)

I love having a window. Writers need windows. When I'm not at home and working at home, I usually set up my computer in my solarium and can look out on the Gardiner Expressway (ugh) and Lake Ontario (yay!) Sometimes in the summer at night I can even see fireworks from my window. It makes me happy, cause, hey, free explosions.

When I was on Blood Ties, my office had no windows. I found myself desperately coveting Dennis Heaton's office, or Showrunner Peter Mohan's office - with their sexy views of the trailers and the occasional view of the guy dumping toxic shit into the parking lot. The best view of Maple Ridge was out the boardroom windows where we'd punch up story. On clear days you could see the mountains. They were pretty. They really got you in the mood to write stories set in the decidedly non-mountainous city of Toronto.

So it's with some sadness that I report that there won't be another writer loving up my office when I leave. Nope. The Filmport, the sexy big new studio hoo-ha that's being built, is eminent domaining The Border writers' offices pretty soon after I leave. That's sad. Oh well.

There's one thing I left out about the awesomeness of the window situation in my office. There's actually two. That's right, bitches. It's an embarrassment of windows. The aforementioned window looks out on the parking lot. But the second window looks in to the hallway and atrium. I get to watch as people enter and leave the building. People frequently stop by and look for keys, take cell phone calls, adjust clothing and take notes --right outside my window. It's like a really low budget public access channel, just for me. It's nice. Like videotapes for specially made for cats, the hallway window and the parade of humanity it offers writers a low level procrastination tool that breaks up the day rather nicely, all while offering kind of an interesting rolling social experiment: how long can people stand in front of a window and do all this stuff like they're, you know, not standing in front of a window?

A few times, I've just looked up and stared at people as they adjust, or gab, or do whatever nasty thing they're doing in my direct line of sight. And occasionally when they catch my eye, they get kind of a pissed off look. Which is hilarious, because, um, you know -- window!

I'm sure the clever will have jumped way ahead by this point, to the one downside of this arrangement. As you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you.

A couple of months ago I posted a little sign, very small, about halfway up on my window. I reproduce it here for your enjoyment.

One More Quickie...

ONE FUN THING from a Canadian angle...and I promise I'll post something non-strike related soon. (Though I don't know exactly what - I'm not going to write about struck shows.)

Today, the WGA supposedly is going to marshall a bunch of showrunners to march the line in solidarity together. One unintended effect of the coverage has been, I think, more exposure in the last three days than ever before to the term, "Showrunner," and the fact that the most important thing all these people in charge are is writers.

Here in the frozen north where quarters of the industry have recently woken up to the term -- there's all sorts of non-writing producers looking to glom onto it as a sort of claim of legitimacy. All part of the ongoing power struggle about who should have a vision for a series. If you need a "head writer" - you may be a producer, or an executive producer, but you aint a showrunner.

There are certainly other ways to organize the show -- and it's not like in the U.S. the girl who comes up with the show always gets to run it. But as long as we're throwing language about, we should be clear about what it means. Writers are sticklers for that stuff.

All those stories about the difficult choices showrunners face now help to put forth the truth. It's not show-runner or show runner -- it's showrunner. One word.

It means, "writer."

Heh heh.

WGA Strike: The Canadian Angle

THE GLOBE AND MAIL today has an article about the WGC's reaction to the work stoppage south of the border:

Canadian writers told to down pens on U.S. work

GUY DIXON

From Wednesday's Globe and Mail

November 7, 2007 at 4:31 AM EST

The Writers Guild of Canada (WGC) is telling its members not to accept work from U.S. producers looking to replace striking American writers.

"Their fight is our fight," the WGC said in a notice to its members. The notice went on to explain union rules on how the strike by the Writers Guild of America (WGA) against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers effects WGC members. The strike in the United States mainly revolves around the amount of payment writers receive for sales of films and TV shows on DVD and other types of digital distribution. The Canadian guild said that "the issues the WGA is addressing will affect every professional artist seeking compensation for their work in the digital age."

Under Canadian rules, writers who belong to both the Canadian and American guilds and who live in the U.S. have to abide by the American strike rules. Dual members of both unions who reside in Canada can work for Canadian productions, but a WGC member in Canada cannot accept work from U.S. producers.

That last paragraph is the really important one. I've had people ask me, and email over the last few days trying to figure out if there were opportunities here. Some were innocent, don't know any better inquiries and some were actually serious. The bottom line is that if a producer is doing work for a struck company -- you can't go with them. Morally, and if that argument doesn't work for you -- legally by the rules of the WGC. If you do take work, you're a scab and you'll certainly never be able to join the WGA once the strike ends. (And it will end.) But the reality is that you probably won't be able to join the WGC either, if they get wind that you worked for a struck producer.

There's a larger question which comes into play if the strike goes on a long time, and the U.S. nets start looking to fill their airwaves with foreign-produced programs. Alex Epstein wrote about this yesterday:

There could be a silver lining. If the strike goes for a long time, then the US networks will be needing content to fill their schedules. (Hell, CTV and Global will be needing content to fill their schedules. Isn't the CBC laughing now?) And there are only so many cool Brit shows they can air. Will they look to Canada?

I think they'll have to at least look. A few Canadian shows are airing in the States: DE GRASSI, SLINGS AND ARROWS, CORNER GAS, WHISTLER. My show NAKED JOSH aired on Oxygen. I think these shows ought to have put to bed the notion that Canadian shows are all poor-quality low-budget rip-offs of American shows. There ought to be a home for DURHAM COUNTY. There ought to be a home for TRAILER PARK BOYS. And how about LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE?

I'm developing a show for The Movie Network that might be right for HBO. Would they buy a Canadian show? Unlikely. Would they buy a Canadian show if they have nothing else to air? Hmmmm... HBO can't exactly survive on reruns and reality shows.

My fond hope is that at some point media in the States will notice that we make a lot of good stuff here and start talking about the Canadian New Wave, the way they talked about the Australian New Wave when Peter Weir was shiny and new. That'll happen faster if there no US content to yak about.

Alex and I are good friends, and we're both American transplants to Canada -- though he's of a more recent vintage than me. I've lived in Canada for thirty years. And one of the things about good friends that keeps life exciting is the way that sometimes you can see things so very differently.

I don't see Alex's silver lining. First of all, I defer to my current co-worker, the inimitable David Barlow, who's been writing and producing TeeVee in Canada roughly since Jesus was in sandals. (I love that joke.) Barlow recounts that in the 1988 strike, the phone started ringing immediately looking for completed Canadian product...but those phone calls immediately dried up at the whiff of a settlement.

Caroline dropped this gossip in a comment on Alex's piece:

I have it on good authority from parties involved that a network that shall not be named is looking very seriously at both Durham County and Billable Hours ... hate to say this and not support my own countrymen on this score, but these two shows are being distributed by big international (read: non-Canadian) companies that had the clout to get them in the door in L.A. in a serious way.

Interesting. But I'm still going with Barlow on this one. I think Alex underestimates the insularity of Americans. I think it's far more likely that if U.S. Channels started showing replacement, Canadian-made shows, that would generate resentment. Not just from the striking writers -- from the viewers too. Whistler is not Gossip Girl.

But what I'm trying to figure out is where the line is for taking future work in Canada while a strike's on. Shows that I've worked on, that I know were made primarily for a domestic audience with a faint hope of getting U.S. love, well, if they get sold, I guess that's a reasonably good thing -- product is meant to be sold. I'm not against capitalism.

Where things get dicey for me is in projects going forward. If this turns into a lengthy strike, there's a possibilty that a Canadian show in development could get greenlit from the Canadian network, and go into production fast because it has a U.S. sale that it might not have gotten if there was alternative American product. To me, that's kind of like working for a struck company.

There are shows that are made here that already have U.S. sales. Blood Ties, Degrassi, Instant Star, The Best Years. Since those existed and those deals were in place before a work stoppage, I can't see why anyone who works on those shows should feel loogy about going back.

But a script sitting in development at one of the Canadian nets that suddenly gets elevated because of a whisper down the mojo wire from L.A.? That might be something else entirely. I think that would be worth a call to the WGC for advice.

And all of this is said with the knowledge that Canadian TV writers, WGC members, do suffer a kind of chauvinism every day from the WGA. I was surprised by how nasty someone got when I asked if there was any way I could get access to the Writer Action board the WGA runs -- though I'm not a member. I asked because I noticed five or six threads that were linked from this blog tracking back from WA. (They're still doing it, BTW.)

But now's not the time to consider hurt feelings or jurisdictional whoozits and what nows. Writers down south are in a death-cage match. I feel very lucky right now to be finishing up work for a show that's designed and written to be Canadian -- The Border.

If there's no U.S. programming on the air in January, we might even benefit from that. Nothing I can do about it. But when it comes to taking the next job, I think WGC members have to think long and hard about where it's likely to end up -- and why.

Nobody likes to win because the other team can't take the field.

At least, I don't.

Strike Flashpoint, Rashomon Edition

IF YOU'RE LIKE me and you've been a little puzzled by the serious AMPTP bias in all the media about what kicked off the strike, well, Nikki Finke at Deadline Hollywood Daily has the antidote -- the first reported account of what really happened in the room on Sunday. It's fairly illuminating:

Top guild sources tell me they were “deliberately duped” by the moguls in a backchannel deal to bring the guild back to the bargaining table Sunday. They say the lure was a promise by two Big Media CEOs -- Peter Chernin and Les Moonves -- that, if the writers gave up their DVD residual demands, then the producers would respond by improving the formula on the central sticking issue of Internet downloads for movies and television. My producer sources confirmed to me such a deal was indeed made. In other words, it could have been possible that a settlement might be only days or a week away, with enough progress to induce the writers side to suspend the Monday start of the strike.

The writers say they kept up their end by dropping their DVD demands – a huge concession which later puzzled the WGA membership because it seemed to come out of nowhere and had to be explained by WGA president Patric Verrone without revealing the whole backstory. Why didn’t he? Because the WGA says it was abiding by the “mutual pledge of confidentiality” with AMPTP that, for the first time in all the negotiations, applied to Sunday’s session. Today, sources there decided to spill to me because the writers’ side of the 11th hour talks story has gone untold. The WGA accuses the producers of not delivering on the all-important electronic sell-through issue all day Sunday. And the producers confirm to me that, no, their negotiators did not offer anything on "EST". So, according to guild sources, that’s the real reason the 12:01 AM strike wasn’t averted, and their dropped DVDs demands put back on the table.

As a spitting mad WGA leader put it to me today: “All I can say is, if someone calls me and says, “You do X, and I do Y” and that someone doesn’t do it, then I’ve been lied to and I’ve been played. It’s a complete betrayal. I just don’t know what the studios’ game is.”

So why is this news important? Because now both sides in this writers vs producers fight are further apart than they have ever been, and that’s saying a lot. Both sides believe they have fresh and ample reasons not to go back into negotiations anytime soon. And by soon a worst case scenario of months and months and months. Both sides believe that, after Sunday’s betrayals, they can’t trust the other side enough to even talk about scheduling new AMPTP/WGA negotiations much less try backchannelling. Ironically, as I was being told the WGA’s complaints today, moguls were being briefed on what went down Sunday inside the negotiating room. But are they being told the whole story? About the backchannel deal? Not that I can tell. About the promise that’d been made? Not that I can tell. About not keeping it? Not that I can tell. Instead, I received a warning from inside that camp today not to report the WGA accusations, or name the two moguls, or repeat what went on inside the talks Sunday. But, to stay smack in the middle, I can't do that -- just as I can't favor the other side when reporting about this strike and its issues.

Dictionary definiton of "Good Faith" is what, exactly?

And There You Have It...

ALEX WROTE ABOUT this the other day, but doesn't it make it so much better-er when you hear it from a (I'm so sorry) Big Fish?

From John August's blog:

Since most readers will probably (hopefully) never go on strike, I thought I’d share some observations.

• I can advise while walking. I spent half an hour on the line answering questions from a young comedy writer who was going though the development process at Warner Bros. I’m happy to do it for blog-readers, by the way, if you care to join me at Paramount. I’ll be picketing afternoons there all this week.

• Anyone can do it. WGA members need to sign in when they get there, but anyone interested can pick up a picket and start marching. If you fall into the “aspiring screenwriter” demographic, it’s a good way to get to know some working writers…while they’re not working. If you’re an aspiring actor, well, there are a lot of showrunners hitting the pavement.

I feel loogy about a lot of emails that come to me...stuff the blogging starts shoving your way -- endless come-ons for screenwriting seminars and fooferal and this-or-that tome or dubious competitions that I think mainly just suck the green out of your pocket.

But walking the line -- availing yourself of this opportunity -- is kind of like investing in your future with the people who are trying to make sure that maybe you'll havve one. And it's probably going to be way fun. If I was in Cali, you better believe I'd do it. If you're in New York or L.A, go down and pick up a sign.

Getting the Word Out: Start Talking!

UH OH.

Variety's got a disturbing article up that kinda puts a different slant on what I was writing about this morning.

When 10 hours of negotiations broke down Sunday at 9:30 p.m. PT, AMPTP president Nick Counter issued a statement at 10:16 p.m., saying "the guild was unwilling to compromise .... It is unfortunate that they choose to take this irresponsible action." WGA spokesman Gregg Mitchell simply said, "For now all I can confirm is contract talks have ended for the night."

It wasn't until 11:46 p.m. that the guild countered Counter -- too late for some newspaper deadlines, including Variety's. Meanwhile, those 90 minutes allowed the producers' version of events to spread on the web. When so many in the industry are hungry for facts quickly -- and especially in the age of the Internet -- silence and slowness can prove to be a serious handicap.

Admittedly, the guild has a an inherent difficulty because both parts of the negotiating committee -- the WGA East and the WGA West -- must approve statements.

As a result, many media outlets are accused of taking the companies' side. Several emails to Daily Variety have charged that the paper's coverage is one-sided. In truth, articles here -- and in other major media outlets -- often have included sharp quotes from the producers, but not much from the writers due to their delayed reactions.

WGA members were told over the weekend, "Please do not talk to the press. There will be a press captain and a WGA staff member at each gate on each shift to handle press and any other issue we may encounter" during picketing.

Off the picket line, scribes normally receptive to giving interviews with reporters were suddenly clamming up. Several returned calls, but begged off giving on the record interviews. They cited chatter that there had been a backlash against several prominent scribes who had talked to reporters, even if their comments were pro-guild.

Writers are careful about crafting their words. During the 2004 presidential election, John Kerry took "the high road" and refused to comment on the Swift Boat rumors. His silence allowed the rumors to get out of hand and by the time he responded, irreparable damage was done.

By carefully watching their words, the writers are in danger of getting swift-boated.

Please, please don't lose the plot here guy. It doesn't matter that you're right. It matters how you sell it.

Blooming Late and Next Year's Pilots

I TRIED, and probably failed, recently to explain the concept of royalties to somebody on a message board, and why the WGA was so dead set against having them rolled back.

And by extension, why the hardline on internet royalties is needed (because the business is moving to downloads, and a bad deal on net usage royalties amounts to the same thing: a rollback in effect if not name.)

I know that issues in any Labor dispute are hard to understand for people who aren't intimately familiar, or immediately concerned about them.

That's why something that I read somewhere else in all the strike coverage has really stayed with me. Forgive me for not being able to attribute this -- I just don't remember where I saw it. But it's a good, concrete example.

Royalties allow writers who bloom late to hang on, and make enough of a living til that one great idea comes along.

See, development can take years. It's intensive, it's in your own head -- the creative process, mysterious and weird and peculiar as it is, doesn't often work on an easily monetized timetable.

Writing -- good writing -- also requires smarts. Lots of smarts. It's no exaggeration for me to say that the writers I know are mostly also the smartest people I know.

Now, if you're smart, there comes a point where you just can't justify doing this thing that makes you so little money, when you know for a fact that if you went into law, say, or advertising or marketing you'd be able to support your family, or even yourself better.

Even if you're a great writer, it's entirely possible that you will go months, and years between jobs. That's just the way it is. In the U.S. system, your royalties can carry you and keep you in the business long after you think, "maybe I would be better off doing something else."

Now take an example like David Chase. Chase wrote for The Rockford Files and Northern Exposure -- and did some great work. But that one great idea, that game changer, actually came pretty late to him in life.

If he hadn't had royalties to support himself, he probably would have quit. Money runs out, writing is hard, at some point -- stop struggling. Go do something else.

If there were no royalties, it's entirely possible we would have never gotten The Sopranos.

Now, for a 180 degree turn, friend o'the blog Blueglow has the laugh out loud dark cloud to the dark cloud of this strike:

I guess my biggest fear regarding the fallout of the strike's eventual outcome will be the number of shows and stories about "labour disputes" I am going to have to endure next year.

Oh God. Right. That's gonna be horrendous.

Midseason 2009 Pilot Schedule

FOX

Labor Pains - A buxom yet misunderstood legal secretary (Pamela Anderson) convinces all the secretaries at her law firm to fill out union cards. It's the suits versus the saucy secretaries! Co-starring Kathy Griffin, and Flava Flav as the boss.

Final Offer - Each week, a firebrand mediator (Adam Arkin) has just eight hours to conclude a contract before a key industry shuts down forever. Co-starring Knocked Up's Dr. Ken as the People's Republic of China, with special appearances by Abe Vigoda as the Ghost of Sam Walton.

CBS

Black Rock - Each week, Les Moonves yells at somebody. A lot.

Steeerike! - Kevin James plays a former Showrunner who once ran a 40 million dollar action adventure show, til he refused to cross a picket line and was blacklisted forever. But none of that stress compares to the horror of coaching Little League Baseball! Starring Mischa Barton as the skinny wife.

NBC

Hardliners -- Three lovable lugs (Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Kristin Wiig) walk the picket line as the strike against Globalco enters its 3rd year. In a very special Episode 3, Former Vice President Al Gore stops by to fit the pickters with solar-generating beanies and windmills for their signs.

...are you rocking foetally yet?

Any other suggestions, let loose in the comments below. *unless you're a striking WGA member that is...pencils down means pencils down.

Across The Internet

COURTESY OF THE TIRELESS DIANE, and her TV-Eh? site, comes the news that the official website for ACROSS THE RIVER TO MOTOR CITY is up.
The Program airs in Canada on CityTV stations November 22 (November 20 in Winnipeg.)

From the story description, written by yours truly:

In every life there is a river that divides one generation from the next. A river of time that separates the people we were from the people we become. For Ben Ford and his daughter Kathleen, the river of history is about to change course, exposing the secrets of a lifetime laying just beneath its surface.

Across the River to Motor City is an epic story about the lengths a father will go to protect his daughter from his tormented past.

November 22, 1963 – A motorcade rounds a corner – a muzzle flashes into history and nothing will ever be the same. Not for Ben Ford, not for anyone. Camelot is dead.

On that fateful day, Ben’s love, Katie, disappears after a flight from Dallas. From quiet, industrious Windsor to the decaying giant, Detroit, he searches for answers that draw him deeper into a world of deceit and violence. A world that reflects his inner turmoil; “Who killed Katie?”
Forty years later, the remains of two bodies are found. Ben is a broken old man with a grown daughter he barely knows. The police are at his door. He is the prime suspect in Katie’s murder.

Only he knows the truth and is willing to take it to his grave but the specter of his past finds new life, threatening to destroy his daughter and her family.

The events of his life unfold in back alleys and bars, crossing the paths of ruthless mobsters and helpless victims. In his search for justice, Ben is swept into a conspiracy that shaped the modern world. The ashes of his youth are scattered across the river to Motor City.

History's not done yet. Not with Ben, his family, any of us. Whether it's November 1963 or today – the river of history can always change course. Whether you go with the current – or get pulled under – that's a lesson for a lifetime.

The website looks pretty nifty.
Funny, it seems like a million years ago and another lifetime when I wrote all that description and copy. Good to see it going to good use. The best thing about the show is probably the great performances from the two Ben Fords -- (David Fox and Sasha Roiz) -- two fine, fine Canadian actors.

I saw one of the actresses from the show in a casting session last week. She mentioned she'd done some press. That's cool.
I'm all about letting the pretty people do the selling. Even I don't want to see my barnacled ass on the TeeVee.

I'll be writing more about ATR closer to the air date, and maybe post some script stuff. We'll see. For now, go, poke around the new site, kick the tires a bit, and let me know what you think. (Like what was I thinking sending them that photo?)

The URL is www.acrosstheriver.tv

Blogging for Context

IT'S STRANGE reading the coverage of the strike in the major news media. Strange because there is a distinct lack of "reality check" coverage. There seems to be much repeating of Producer fictions like the laughable "writers earn $200 000 on average."

I guess you couldn't expect much from Variety or the Hollywood Reporter on that score. But the longer this thing drags on, the more opportunities there are to draw attention to just how the stranglehold of corporate concentration affects the supposedly "free" media.

The 2005 Canadian Broadcasting Corporation strike was a black eye for Canada's national broadcaster, and one of the worst parts about it -- if you were management -- was seeing the parade of CBC blogs out there, getting the point of view of the raw, unfiltered opinions of the working class out there. CBC was never the savviest broadcaster in the getting out the message department, but they were caught seriously off guard by the raw opinions of their own workers in the Summer of 2005.

The WGA strike has the advantage, of course, of being about writers. The public may not know who they are, but they are the ones who can frame a story. And proceeding from the platform of blogs I've recently added to the Strike section of the sideboard, any reader can skip through the rhetoric and read up in a moment on just why this strike is going on. The more you read, the more you start to understand just how odious the Studios' position here is. I particularly love John Rogers take on it: they've gone tiger.

One of my favorite jokes, just a lovely piece of writing, is Chris Rock's bit about the time one of Siegfried and Roy's tigers mauled Roy.

"Everybody's mad at the tiger. 'That tiger went crazy!' That tiger didn't go crazy ... that tiger went tiger."

This is how I feel about corporations in general, extended to the Studios in particular. There are those who rail at the AMPTP for being profit-maximizing heartless, soul-less bastards as if that were a bad thing. It's not.

A corporation's job is to make money, and if necessary fuck you in the process. Just like a tiger's job is to eat, and if necessary kill you in the process. I'm okay with that. I like capitalism. A lot. I like tigers. A lot. That doesn't mean I trust corporations not to try to screw me and everyone next to me when negotiating. Nor would I trust a tiger not to attack me in the wild. Nor am I personally offended when they try.

All this to say that the Studios have not been negotiating in good faith, nor probably did they ever intend to. Why? They went tiger.

How Did We Get Here?

The negotiations started like this:

Writers: "We want residuals in internet downloads, let's start at a 2.5% for a negotiating point, an increase in our DVD residuals from .3% to a nominally less pathetic .6%, and a bunch of other bullshit that's on the table for negotiating purposes."

Studios: "How about ZERO PERCENT, not only of the new stuff but we also redefine existing residuals so that you won't get any of those, either? Oh yeah, and here are some other rollbacks, all financially punitive and some actually morally objectionable!"

Tiger.

Then, at the last minute, after the Guild yanked a bunch of its proposals off the table, the AMPTP made it plain that they weren't going to budge at all on the one issue driving the entire strike, the internet download issue. That they would, indeed, go tiger over it.

Rogers' full post can be read here. It's not as clean and simple as John August's version, but it is more forward looking.

When you read about strikes of old, the big ones from the early 20th century, you see a pattern emerge. In those early battles, the management's position was so indefensible, the workers' demands so basic, the overreaction to them so out-of-proportion -- that you can only marvel from our safe vantage of history and say, "man, I can't believe how unfair things were before."

Now, no one's dying in the machinery. They're not making Children work. (Well, the Olsen twins, but that turned out...um..never mind) Yes, film and TV is essentially frivolous -- but the basic issue here -- the principle of whether artists will be allowed to share proportionally in the fruits of their intellectual labors -- is a basic precept that will have implications for people who work in "knowledge industries" for years to come. This is the economy we're heading for -- not bricks and mortar, but ingenuity and brainpower.

It's about whether the only guy who gets rewarded for that is the 20 billion dollar a year CEO, or if we're going to let, you know, people buy houses and raise their kids.

I agree with Kay Reindl. I hope pretty soon we stop hearing from the Carlton Cuse's and start hearing from Joe Middleclass, who's barely making it, and who went into writing to save the world from having to suffer another schlepping lawyer.

The thing is, you won't read about him or her in the big papers or corporate media...that much is becoming clear. So seek out those alternative sources. Read the voices from the line. Guys, ramp up that storytelling.

And appreciate those few major media sources that will frame the strike in the proper context, like the Globe & Mail's John Doyle:

Sometimes a reader will contact me and ask if I could spare a few minutes to talk to a son or daughter who wants to be a journalist or writer, create a TV show or write a movie. The parent is always proud but wary of the child's ambition and seeks advice.

Usually, I give what advice I can.

I was thinking about these requests on Monday morning when it became clear that, for a start, you won't have Leno, Letterman and Jon Stewart to entertain you for a while. Maybe you'll miss 'em. Maybe you won't. Perhaps most of you are in bed by late-night, TV talk-show time. But the question is this: Should you care about the strike by the Writers Guild of America?

Yes, you should. It's about a fair deal for writers. It's about knowing that people who toil in the entertainment racket are getting a fair return for their work. It's about dollars and cents and the obligation of everyone to acknowledge the work of people you never see on TV and rarely hear about. It's about the endless battle to ensure a fair deal for those who create what we consume as art and entertainment. It about what worries parents when a child decides to write and create for a living.

According to reports on the negotiating strategies by the Writers Guild, the union's proposed increase in the amount writers would earn from DVD sales would cost the studios and broadcasters about $220-million (U.S.) over the three years of the next contract. Simultaneously, according to accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers, $24.4-billion in revenues was generated by DVD sales and rentals last year and that's just in the United States. Yes, you read that correctly - more than $24-billion.

Then there is the matter of money derived from the Internet, iPods, cellphones and all manner of other devices. You and I are watching TV material online or buying devices that allow us to watch TV here, there and everywhere. There's always an ad that comes with the show. That's revenue for some giant entertainment corporation. The writers just want a fair share of the royalty.

Almost everybody who creates something that is consumed by the public has been through this fight as technology changes the marketplace. Writers of books had to fight for compensation when it became clear that schools, universities and others were simply photocopying them. Musicians and songwriters are still fighting to ensure that the public pays for their creations instead of grabbing it, for free, from the Internet.

Apparently, during last-minute negotiations on Sunday, the Writers Guild was willing to shrink its demands for more money from DVD sales, but unwilling to move on its demand for a bigger share of revenue from the Internet and other platforms.

The Writers Guild is taking a very tough stand, and so it should. If your son or daughter, spouse or any family member was working in the entertainment business, you'd want them compensated fairly, wouldn't you? That's why you should care.

No, you won't be laughing along with Leno, Letterman and Jon Stewart for a while. This strike is no laughing matter.

Oh, one more thing. Let's not think about what impact American Democracy will suffer, now that a bunch of younger voters have lost their primary source of politial info, (which studies show actually keeps them pretty well informed.)

Ah, The Daily Show. What will we do without you?

Strike Day One

Strike
Originally uploaded by Celluloid Refuge

WELL, THAT DIDN'T take very long. I'm starting to hear trickles from various people I know down in L.A. from the picket line and environs.

A Canadian writer L.A. transplant friend writes:

Spent the past couple hours on the picket line outside CBS. Yes! Lil' ol' me. Gossip I heard:

"Cane" is finally dead. They're blaming the WGA strike. Not the shitty ratings.

And Julia Louis Dreyfuss walked off the set of "New Adventures of Old Christine" today and promptly joined the picket line. Probably because of the fact that (duh) you kinda need a writer around when rehearsing a sitcom.

Yeah! You Go, Julia Louis Dreyfuss. You join Shawn Ryan on the Awesome list. (Edit: It may be hard to see without clicking on it, but a Flickr'r called Celluloid Refuge actually snapped that awesome pic. Yes, that is indeed Julia Louis Dreyfuss on the left. Cool pic, dood!)

Of course, remember that whatever bullshit Nick Counter wants to spill about the "average writer making 200 000 a year," remember, front and center that there are plenty of people standing up for principle today who have a lot more to lose than a pulled out of your ass six figure salary.

An aspiring writer who works in the Prod Office of one of the struck shows had this to say: (Some identifying details have been removed)

I can't tell you how tough it is. The costs are enormous for everyone, and it's clear this is going to be a long battle. The studios don't give a shit - and the writers (will always) care more about this than the studios. What's scary is that it's almost as if the studios want a strike.

Myself... I don't know how much time I have left. My freelance script is now in the garbage. I am getting married soon, and will probably be out of work sooner.

But I realize there are bigger forces at play. I most certainly support my boss and the writers, and I hope for the best.

But, you know, it's Jim Henshaw who has, I think, the best and most immediate action that you can take if you don't feel like siding with huge multinational media conglomerates:

As of tonight, I'm turning off all programming that's been served by WGA writers. No shows and immediately plummeting ratings are the only things that might bring studios and networks to their senses.

Sounds like an idea to me. Hmm. Guess tonight's the night I crack that new Charles Schulz biography.

Shawn Ryan: Not a Finger

A LOT OF the articles now are focusing on how difficult it's going to be for writer-producers to wear one hat while on strike on the other. People point to The Office as an example of a show where writer-producers who are also actors may have a tough time splitting their loyalties.

Well, Shawn Ryan (The Shield) is saying that it's not a hard choice at all. From Deadline Hollywood Daily:

At the Showrunners Meeting it became very clear to me that the only thing I can do as a showrunner is to do nothing. I obviously will not write on my shows. But I also will not edit, I will not cast, I will not look at location photos, I will not get on the phone with the network and studio, I will not prep directors, I will not review mixes. These are all acts that are about the writing of the show or protecting the writing of the show, and as such, I will not participate in them. I will also not ask any of my writer/producers to do any of these things for me, so that they get done, but I can save face.

I will not go into the office and I will not do any work at home. I will be on the picket line or I will be working with the Negotiating Committee. I will not have an avid sent to my house, or to a new office so that I can do work on my show and act as if it is all right because I'm not crossing any picket lines.

I truly believe that the best and fastest way to a good contract is to hit these companies early, to hit them hard and to deprive them of ALL the work we do on their behalf.

How do we ask our staff writers to go out on strike as we continue collecting producer checks? How do we ask the Teamsters to respect our picket lines if we won't ourselves or if we're sneaking around to do the work off-site.

More importantly, a part that frequently gets lost -- taking a principled stand does not come without cost.

Tomorrow, we begin to film the Series Finale of The Shield. I think it's the best script our writing staff has ever written. This is the show that made me. This is the show that is my baby. If the strike goes on longer than two weeks, I won't be able to step on set for the final episode of the show. I won't have a writer on set, as I have had on every episode since the fourth episode. I won't be able to edit this final culminating episode. I won't go to the wrap party that Fox TV and FX are paying for. You can't tell me that any episode of television is more important than this one is to me, and I am ready to forego all those things in order to strengthen my union.

Tomorrow, we begin filming a new pilot, The Oaks, that I am Executive Producing. It's an amazing script that David Schulner wrote and I signed up to help him make this show. Until we have a fair deal I cannot do that now and it kills me.

We are currently filming Season 3 of The Unit, a show that does fairly well, but against House and Dancing With The Stars, usually finishes in 3rd place. We have no guarantee that we will back for a 4th season. I just gave a director friend of mine his first TV directing gig. I'd like to see him succeed. He'll have to finish the show on his own now without a writer on set, or my help in the editing room.

Some people have made the argument that if they don't do this producing work or this editing, that someone else will do it, and this act won't hurt the companies. I respectfully disagree. If we ALL stop ALL work tomorrow, the impact of this strike will be felt much more quickly, much more acutely and it most likely will end sooner, putting our writers, our cast and our crews back to work sooner!

I spent nearly 12 hours today in the Negotiation Room with the companies. I watched our side desperately try to make a deal. We gave up our request to increase revenue on DVD's, something that was very painful to give up, but something we felt we had to in order to get a deal made in new media, which is our future.

I watched as the company's representatives treated us horrendously, disrespectfully, and then walked out on us at 9:30 and then lied to the trades, claiming we had broken off negotiations.

I can't in good conscience fight these bastards with one hand, while operating an avid with the other. I am on strike and I am not working for them. PERIOD.

The full Shawn Ryan email can be read on Deadline Hollywood Daily here.

In the past here, we've had discussions about that term, "showrunner," and what it really means -- especially in Canada where there's not a clear lineage to the term. Well in all the definitions bandied about, I think the most important one right now is this:

Showrunners are the people who step up.

Good on Shawn Ryan.

There is Power in a Union

SORRY IT'S come to this. But my thoughts are with all the WGA writers who start picketing at 9AM PT today.

Walk tall. You have nothing to apologize for.

At left: look how the sign brings out the brown in her eyes. Swwooon.

If you're still hazy on the what's and why's of this strike, Alex has reposted a pretty chilling story. And Seriocity has more.

On SNL this weekend (probably the last one for a while) Fred Armisen did a hilarious gallows riff on Weekend Update as a studio mogul who starts out talking about how writers are "valuable partners" and ends up wishing that we all "get ass cancer and die."

That's about the size of things. I feel like it's gonna be a long winter. The only bright side as a viewer?

I'm gonna read a whole lot more.

The Line in the Sand Does Not Lead Back to Winnipeg, My Friends.

PENCILS DOWN.

So I guess it's come to this.

(Thanks to Chris Leavins for the awesome pic, taken at the L.A. Hallowe'en Street Party)

In many ways, if you're a TV scribe in Canada, or a lot of other places in the world, right now, you're scratching your head and trying to decide how you feel.

The very things that the WGA is fighting for
are things that writers in Canada and a lot of other jurisdictions don't have. In Canada, we don't make residuals until the producers recoup. Instead, we get a bit more "upfront money" as a buyout when shooting starts. The difference in the economics is profound. There are writers I know who've had a couple of WGA scripts -- and the royalties from those are a big part of their yearly take. If you've read this blog for a while, you'll know that I've had a pretty good run over the last eighteen months. In fact, I've been working my great big Irish butt off.

But a good year is just that. I know that it's equally possible that my 2008 may look more like 2005. Or even 2002 or 2003, where I spent many miserable weeks wondering what I was going to do with my bank account in overdraft. Even successful years in Canada mean not scrambling for a few months, at best.

The AMPTP's policy of demanding rollback after rollback was a non-starter to begin with. But if American writers are walking a picket line Monday, what are they fighting for? Why don't you get to watch new TV?

Well, here's the cleanest explanation I've found ... this was posted on Deadline Hollywood Daily:

'What's the biggest issue? Internet and New Media

What are we asking for in Internet and New Media? Two things: 1. Residuals for reuse of content (like replaying tv shows) on the internet. We're asking for residuals of 2.5% of revenue -- that means for every dollar they get paid, we'd get 2 and a half cents. It's a flat percentage, so if they're right and they're never ever going to make a penny, well then, we won't either. No harm, no foul. Since 2.5% is our starting point, in any normal negotiation we'd end up somewhere between what they want to pay (.3%) and what we're asking for (2.5%). I'd guess 1 to 1.5 %. 2. Coverage and protections for original content (new stuff we create for the internet.) We're asking for basic protections so that when we write original stuff for the internet, we have rights -- health and pension, minimum amounts, credits and separated rights (so if we make some amazing character or show, we get the right to share in its success.) We're just asking for the same protections we already have for writing in TV or film. Nothing new or weird. Just the basics.

What are the other issues? DVDs: Currently we get .3% per dvd, we're asking for .6%. Translation: now we get 4 cents per dvd. We are asking for 8 cents per dvd. Since most DVD's cost at least 10 bucks, that doesn't exactly seem like a bank-breaker. Whatever. Enforcement of Coverage: There are lots of shows, like game shows, documentaries and talk shows, where writing is supposed to be covered under our contract. The companies sometimes just ignore the contract -- which means folks don't get health and pension, and if they ask for it, they get fired. We want them to stop that, and honor the contract they signed. Expansion of Coverage: We want to cover stuff where writers are working without coverage, which means without health and pension and other protections. The two big areas are animation and reality. We think those writers should be covered.

You don't actually think you'll get all that, do you? Personally? I think in a perfect world, negotiation involves, well, negotiating. That's give-and-take, where we get some of what we want and they get some of what they want. So far, they just keep showing up at the table with more and more things they're saying they're going to take away -- rollbacks on health and pension, gutting of separated rights, that kind of thing.

But they gave back those resid-whatever-thingums, right? Sort of. They took that one rollback off the table -- but since they're not moving on "digital delivery", and since pretty much all content is going to be digitally delivered in the coming years, well... we'll lose those residuals as soon as that happens. So without internet coverage, it doesn't mean much.''

So anyway, in looking for the local angle, Lee-Anne Goodman from the Canadian Press wrote this article.

Now there's about five things in there that are just howlers, but I'll leave that aside for now. Others have written about them, anyway.

But to Canadian-born scribes thinking about coming home and slurping up some work, I can only say this:

You're gonna be surprised by the contracts you're asked to sign, and you're going to be surprised by the people you find yourselves in meetings with. You may find yourself wishing you'd stayed put and picked up a sign.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you all, right up til the moment where you decide to carpetbag it back here. Cause I know the calls have started. I've heard it from more than one agent-type acquaintance.

In the worst case scenario, while your brothers and sisters walk a picket in L.A., if you come back and get work from fickle, starry eyed producers, and help perpetuate the idea that if you're good, don't bother to try and build something at home -- go to L.A. -- and flee back only when you can't get work there, or if there's a strike.

In the best case scenario, who knows? Maybe producers who can't hire scribes and start new projects will come to Canada. Yeah. Imagine, producers who can raise money from different places, and really know what they're doing. You know, Maybe this strike could end up spilling a little bit of sparkle dust on the Canadian community. There's so much Canadian talent down there ... there may be some really interesting, wonderful opportunities for Canadian writers as they draw on the experiences of people who have done volumes and volumes and volumes of producing in L.A. who are coming back home and want to stay home.

Nah.

In any case, Good Luck guys. At least you're picketing in California and not Winnipeg.

Cause that would suck.

My So Called Could Have Been

"I would have gotten somebody pregnant. Sharon's the obvious choice. I would have made Angela unable to resist turning to Brian Krakow for advice about her doomed relationship wiht Jordan Catalano, and I would have split Graham and Patty up, so Patty could fall into a deep depression -- the kind where you can't get out of bed -- so that Angela is forced to somehow run the household. I would have had Rickie move in with Mr. Katimsky (by the way, Katimsky was executive story editor and writer Jason Katims' family name, once upon a time) and when Mr. Katimsky is fired for the crime of giving a kid a place to live, I would have forced Patty out of her depression to defend him.

These are the ideas that were playing around in my mind, anyway. But there's an intensity, an of-the-moment-ness to making T.V. -- you plan, and the plans go awry and that's called your script. Then it turns out that weird idea that came to you in the shower is more what you meant anyway. Which is part of what I love about writing."

Me too.

Winnie Holzman, ladies and gentlemen. I'm geeking out right now.

My So Called Life is the show that made me realize that I'd never be happy as a TV producer, that eventually I was going to have to take a shot at writing for real.

If you're a fan of quality TV, or if you loved what indie Shout Factory did with their sublime Freaks and Geeks set, run, don't walk to your favorite retailer and order My So Called Life, the complete series -- just out on DVD. A tasteful, insightful book with more of the essay by Holzman I excerpt above, and quotes from the likes of Joss Whedon, featurettes galore, and oh, oh, oh the pain. It's all there.

Winnie Holzman managed to create a show that was just a few years ahead of its time. Imagine what path pop culture and the rise of the new teenage class might have taken had her writing caught on then.

Man. That would have been...Wicked, I guess.

Matt Neffer, Boy Spotwelder Dares to Say The 'S'-word

WHILE I STRUGGLE to get twenty-six hours of work out of a standard twenty-four hour day, Friend-of-the-Blog Matt Neffer, Boy Spotwelder dips his gnarly, wizened comedy toe into the big bad blogosphere, with some truly spook-tacular, scaaaaaary thoughts about a scaaaary word that has a lot of people running scaaaaared these days. And though he writes specifically about the industry here in Canada, I think what he has to say is actually pretty universal.

So read on. Wake the neighbors, phone the kids, and as always, please...

...no wagering.

A Dispatch from Matt Neffer, Boy Spotwelder

So there's this interesting phrase I keep hearing a lot when it comes to comedy in Canada. It's something I've heard from network executives and producers over the years, to be sure. But, more often than not these days, I hear it from fellow writers, particularly emerging writers, about whose future I care deeply, if only because they may be in a position to hire my tired old carcass in years to come.

The writer has a pitch. It's an idea for a half-hour comedy program centering on a small group of individuals, let's say 4 - 8, who either live or work or play together on a regular basis, and each week some sort of problem comes up that needs fixing, and in doing so, the characters interact with one another and try a bunch of solutions and most of those solutions fail until maybe one succeeds, or doesn't, and there's your show.

Hopefully the pitch has a little more meat on the bones than that, but you get the general idea. At that point, the writer often takes a deep breath and says this: "But it's not a sitcom."

"It's not a sitcom." It is a phrase perhaps second in popularity only to the old standby, "We know your show will be funny, but what else will it be?"

(Well, you don't know it'll be funny. A thousand things have to go right before that happens. My name could be Giggles McChucklepants and you'd still have no guarantee the show I'm pitching you will be funny. We should be so lucky. Comedy is hard.)

But I digress.

My little theory is that there are three reasons why the fear and loathing of the word "sitcom" tends to persist. The first, I've grown to suspect, is particularly unfortunate: The writer in question refuses to use the word "sitcom" because it gives them a sort of insurance policy just in case the show isn't actually funny. For some reason, calling their project a "half-hour comedy" or, God forbid, "half-hour dramedy," seems to ease the pressure, because that way, if the jokes are few and far between, it was done on purpose. It's not a sitcom.

This is an important point because it distinguishes the "sitcom versus half-hour comedy" issue from being purely one of semantics to an issue of actual quality. It could just be me, but I believe that a comedy, no matter what you call it, should be funny. Quite funny. Like, ideally, a-couple-of-chuckles-and-one-big-laugh-on-every-page funny. If you're writing a comedy pilot and there aren't a lot of actual laughs, it's a bit like writing a Die Hard movie where there isn't a lot of actual action. The audience comes through the door expecting something and when we don't deliver it we shoot ourselves in the foot.

Now, please note I say "laughs" here and not necessarily "jokes." Personally, I like jokes, and lots of them, but I will labour to make the distinction because it speaks to the second reason people are sitcom-phobic, which is that the word "sitcom" seems to conjur a certain creaky set-up/punchline/my boss-is-coming-to-dinner-and-all-I-have-to-serve-him-are-my-pot-brownies kind of show, like, say, Three's Company (which had its merits, but whatever).

Personally, I say enough. It's time to re-claim the stupid word. The old adage that a sitcom should have "three jokes a page" may sound hacky and tired, but keep in mind that it's not all sarcastic retorts. It's wordplay, it's pratfalls, it's cutaways, it's bad behaviour, it's reactions to that bad behaviour. Things that are not all necessarily "jokes" but things that are clearly, demonstrably funny. Comedy scripts should be chock full of them. That's not to say we can't have dramatic moments, or land an emotional punch here and there, but if we're doing comedy, we have to earn that stuff, not just cram it in because we ran out of gags.

Cheers, Taxi, Everybody Loves Raymond, Will and Grace, Two and a Half Men, and Happy Days are all sitcoms. But so are Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Flight of the Conchords, 30 Rock, Extras and so forth.

Now: You might look at that list and note that none of those shows are Canadian, which brings me to the third and possibly most common objection to the use of the word sitcom, which is that we don't have that kind of history up here. Well, you're right, we don't, which is why any time I get into a discussion about sitcoms in Canada someone invariably brings up The Trouble With Tracy. Truth be told, that was a perfectly good argument twenty years ago. Maybe even ten.

But I think we should move on. The Trouble with Tracy was nearly forty fucking years ago, and the tide has, I believe, finally turned. If we accept that Corner Gas, Trailer Park Boys, Rent-a-Goalie, Little Mosque, Made in Canada, The Newsroom, etc. are, by definition, sitcoms, then we have to come to the conclusion that we have, in fact, rounded some kind of corner in this country, and that there is nobility in building on this new tradition. Television comedy isn't dead. People like to laugh. It's like some sort of weird thing with them, in fact.

What kinds of sitcom are we going to make, traditional or groundbreaking? I'm not sure. I recently had a conversation with a very talented Canadian television writer who argued that not only is sitcom a dirty word, but that comedy had "evolved" past shows like Cheers.

I like this guy, but I say that's bullshit. The traditional multi-cam show has run aground in recent years, no question, but I am convinced it is resting and not dead. Much has been made of the fact that CBC are currently looking to produce traditional, family-oriented, multi-cam sitcoms. Some people question the idea, but I happen to like it a lot. There is something to be said for zigging while everyone else zags, and I actually believe that the Ceeb, rather than dragging behind the curve on this one, are in fact out-front, anticipating a time in the near-future when frenetic, uber-ironic, 40 locations-and-65-scene comedies wear out their welcome. People like shows where they can drop in to a place they know and actually hang around a while. It was nice to go back to the WJM Newsroom, or Mary's apartment. It felt good. Shows like Arrested Development had no real home base, and I think suffered because of it. The show was hilarious, but the emotional connection wasn't there.

This is related to my "Friendly Giant" theory of television, which is that people like a certain amount of repetition in their TV because it's ingrained in us at an early age ("I'll close up the draw bridge when you leave...") But that's another post.

Similarly, it's been a while since I sat down with CTV, and they may not be as interested in doing the multi-cam thing, but I can't believe they wouldn't love to have another Corner Gas on their hands. Are they gonna back away from the next great idea or vehicle simply because the man or woman pitching it calls it a sitcom? I doubt it. (Though if I'm wrong, don't sue me).

So, that's my little rant. Be curious to find out if I'm alone on this one.

Oh, one other thing: Assuming we ever get over the sitcom thing, could we also possibly put a moratorium on saying things like "It's a comedy about a family, but it's not "Frasier." Or, "it's a show about young people, but it's not "Friends." Or, "it's quirky, but it's not Seinfeld."

Why do we always pick the most successful shows in television history as an example of what we don't want to do? I'm not saying we should set out to re-make a show that's already been done, but wouldn't it be nice to at least duplicate that kind of success?

It always seems to me like it would make more sense to say "It's a story about a guy on the radio, but it's not 'Hello, Larry.'"

Now there's a pitch I could get behind.

"Hello, Larry"? Anyone? As I say, I'm old.

If you're an industry professional, and you'd like to guest blog here in Sticksville, drop me a line at the email link on Ye Olde Sideboarde. Thanks to Matt Neffer. Promotional considerations by Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat. This guest blog is a Mark Goodman/Bill Todman production.

I Got Nothin

A LONG DAY of tech surveys and production meetings. And strangely, when I say I got nothin...I mean I got nothin. At all. Leopard is a sweet looking O/S. I suspect no one in the industry in L.A. has fingernails right now. How much did it suck that the World Series only went 4? Still... nothin.

And nothin it shall continue to be. At least til tomorrow, when guest Matt Neffer, Boy Spotwelder takes on what is, inexplicably, currently the dirtiest word in television.

Here's a hint. It ends with "com."