Leave it to a Trailer Park Boy

WELL $#%&. Maybe I will just take the week off.

There's something pretty delicious about this article. See, last year, when Jim Shaw of Shaw Cable threw his little temper tantrum about the CTF and instigated the process that resulted in the "let's change the rules again" roadshow that rolled through Toronto last week, one of the shows he cited as something Canadian money shouldn't support was Trailer Park Boys.

TPB, the little show that could that spawned two movies, and countless sold out personal appearances from coast to coast, that put three unknown actors on the map, and made creator/director Mike Clattenburg a sought-after Director, is certainly a success. But I made sure to name-check it at the CMF consultation in Toronto last week because at a break I heard a couple of besuited, stuffy cable types still running it down like it, somehow was the problem.

Well, it takes someone who struggled to get his Grade 12 to set those jokers straight, and today, Robb Wells, (at right, photo by Robert Scales) the actor who so fully inhabits Ricky that it's hard to tell where he ends and Ricky begins, does just that in this editorial.

Whatever the dueling campaigns say, right now Broadcasters and Cable Co's with their big profits and protected markets are fighting over something that doesn't matter to viewers at all.

So what should matter? Let Robb explain it to you.

Ever wonder why we have Canadian cable companies and Canadian broadcasters, if all they air is American programming and still charge us a fortune? Couldn't we just cut out the middle-man and pay NBC directly for their TV shows?

You've probably seen the big broadcasters join together in their "Local TV Matters" campaign. I agree, local TV does matter.

The broadcasters want cable companies to pay for it. I agree, they should. When big cable earns $2 billion in profits, when they pay American stations upward of $300 million for their signals but give nothing to Canadian broadcasters, there's something wrong.

But having Canadian programming on local TV also matters. It's time to end the free ride for both broadcasters and big cable and make them give something back for the money they earn from Canadian consumers.

The most important conversation - the one that isn't being heard - is about drama and comedy. The rules say you should be getting a good selection of Canadian programming from your cable companies and broadcasters - including drama, comedy and local news. But for years we haven't been getting what we're paying for with our cable fees or our taxes.

Cable companies are making buckets of money - especially since cable rates were deregulated. They pay specialty channels a fee to be able to offer their services as part of their cable packages, but give nothing to conventional broadcasters like CTV, Global and CBC. In fact Trailer Park Boys got made because of the spending and content requirements on specialty channels. We need to take that lesson and bring it to conventional stations so other programs have a chance.

Our TV regulator, the CRTC, recently ordered cable companies to pay 1.5 per cent of their gross revenues to help support the broadcasters in producing local programming. This is good. Unfortunately cable companies have chosen to pass that buck on to you. That is bad. Now they are threatening to do the same thing again. They're fighting the broadcasters' calls for fee-for-carriage. And promising that if they're forced to pay, you will pay. That is really bad.

Broadcasters should be fairly paid for the services, but they also must give something back to Canadians. If we end the cable companies' free ride, we also need to end the free ride for broadcasters.

The broadcasters want you to think the only thing at stake is local programming - namely news. That's because they don't want to talk about the crisis in Canadian drama and comedy and the fact that Canadians can't see our own scripted series on our conventional TV networks.

Why is that? Canadian English-language drama and comedy has been a rarity on prime time since 1999 - the year that the CRTC relaxed the rules for private broadcasters. Since then, private broadcasters have been filling Canada's prime-time schedules with U.S. shows. Last year they spent $740 million on U.S. and foreign programming and just $54 million on Canadian English-language dramas and comedies.

Sure we've got a few great Canadian TV shows on air, Flashpoint and This Hour Has 22 Minutes, to name two. But 10 years ago we had so many more programs to choose from. Why should we settle for less - especially when we're the ones footing the bill?

Being able to tune into Canadian TV drama and comedy is critical to the cultural health of our country. How do we know what it is to be Canadian if we can't see and share our experiences, our own lives, our communities, our heroes, and our history on TV, the most popular and pervasive cultural medium in history?

So what can be done to make sure Canadian TV is actually Canadian?

Revenues from fee-for-carriage must be seen on the screen in the form of new, original local, dramatic and comedic programming - broadcasters can't be handed a bag of money to take on their L.A. shopping sprees.

Cable giants must not be allowed to pass the buck on to Canadian consumers as they so outrageously have done before. The CRTC should direct them to pay from their own overflowing coffers, again, the cost of doing business. With $10 billion in revenues, big cable can afford it.

Our public broadcaster needs support - the CBC must be included in any new money being put into the conventional system.

It's time the CRTC made big cable and broadcasters do their part. If Canadian cable companies and broadcasters don't make space for Canadian TV no one else will. And if they don't - then why do we need them?

Amen. Robb, that's the best damn thing you've written all year. If you've had any of your relatives fall for the half-truths both the cable and the broadcasters are spreading in this fight -- please forward this on to them. It's the first honest piece I've read about the full picture.

There's something pretty disgusting when big companies try to co-opt you into a fight that has nothing to do with you.

And as a final point of context -- this fight between broadcasters and cable co's has pushed the other business of the CRTC -- licence renewals, and a review of the broadcasting industry -- back another year. So hearings that might help Canadian viewers get more for their money have been shoved off -- again -- for this internecine fight...

...and just in case you were wondering, in most of their applications, the broadcasters are asking to spend LESS on Canadian produced programs. Yup. All this fight, and they want their CanCon reduced, so they can buy even MORE U.S. programs. (How is that even possible?)

As Ricky might say, "that's fucked."

Playback Goes Daily & Jim Shaw Shoots Blanks

Playback is Canada's Variety in the same way as the Geminis are the Emmys and the Genies are The Oscars.

Which is to say, ehhh, not so much.

But they're taking a step in the right direction. As of today, Playback is launching a daily email newsletter that should keep Canada's TV and Film Industry up to date. I'm sure, like everything else in Canada, it's being done with too few people and too few resources, but it's still a tremendous step forward, and for all the people who are probably killing themselves to get this thing out, I say, thanks and this is long overdue.

Interestingly enough, today there's more of Jim Shaw in the daily sheet, where he expands upon his reasons for choking off his 56 million dollar CTF contribution.

Now, I have to say that I've just gotten a SHAW digital box here in the temp digs in Vancouver, and his digital terminal layout kicks Rogers' ass in terms of elegance of design and navigation. The technology is much, much better.

Jim Shaw's firmware, though, needs a whole lot of updating.

The comment that caught my eye:

"We keep paying, but what shows are being made? Am I just getting shows like Trailer Park Boys with all those guys running around half-naked, swearing and smoking weed? Is that what Canadians are getting?" he asks.

Okay, to borrow from Jon Stewart, Jim, meet me at Camera Three.

I appreciate that you're very, very, very old. But whatever your point about the CTF is, you seriously undercut it by seeming to take the stance that somehow your 56 million dollars should reflect your personal taste of what constitutes "good or worthy" programming.

Trailer Park Boys sells DVD sets by the skid. It's been successful enough for Showcase that it's spawned Christmas specials and a movie produced by a Canadian who's made quite a bit of money, and whose judgement I trust a whole lot more than yours: Ivan Reitman. The Boys attract crowds wherever they go. (They're making two nights of personal appearances at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver this week or next, for instance.) They're popular enough that they've been asked to host the East Coast Music Awards for the second straight year.

So, in short, if your point is that you're not willing to fund shows that don't connect, then TPB is a baaaaaad example. If your point is that you think that networks should pay more money to license shows, and rely less on CTF handouts, TPB is a baaaaaad example. But if your point is that you should get to be the arbiter of what's successful and what we should be spending money on, and TPB is your example of something we shouldn't be...supporting, well...

You're an old, out of touch, cranky duffer. And you just shot yourself in the foot. Whatever good you had to say, whatever point you had to make is pretty much moot. Because you just insulted one of the few shows that lots of Canadians connect with, laugh at, and love.

Shame on you, you pampered monopolist. I hope they fine you big time.

Or as Ricky would say, "Hey Jim, Knock Knock, Who's there, Eff Off, you tool. Now...smokes."