Your Weekend Reading

NOT TO BE gross here, but I'm practically plague worthy right now -- with a sty in one eye and a raging ear infection. If either manages to overpower the antibiotics I've acquired, please tell all relevant scientists that I fully consent to my bionic makeover. I will do whatever bidding you require.

While I suffer on the last weekend of the summer (proof, Will, of your axiom that writers do not get hiatuses. I upset the natural order of the universe and am being plagued for my impertinence) I point you to a couple of particularly good posts by Jaime J. Weinman, on his excellent Macleans Blog, TV Guidance:

In the first he does something that I can't believe none of the blogging smartypants have done: he profiles the writing staff of Friday Night Lights. It's often hard for newbies or even people who aren't writers to understand how the different gifts and strengths of writers with differing skillsets can coalesce into a unified whole, where the whole really is greater than the sum of the parts. I think taking a look at shows that get it right might actually help. You can't catch lightning in a bottle, but if you parse writing staffs that are functional and working at the top of their game (and I think anybody would agree that does indeed describe the staff of Friday Night Lights) maybe you might start to see something of the different kinds of writers you should be considering for a staff job.

In the second, he points to a MTM jem that's now on YouTube (and sadly, will probably not be released on DVD ever, which is a problem, since many people believe it to be the greatest comedy episode of all time.) Then Weinman manages to crystallize the whole "why's the sitcom in trouble" thing in a way that maybe you might not appreciate -- but maybe has a bit of truth to it.

Notice also that the two-act structure of traditional sitcoms -- I know that we're supposed to talk about "three act structure," but the shows themselves have two acts: Act 1, commercial break, Act 2, commercial break, tag scene -- requires a lot of buildup time before the actual plot of the episode takes shape: until the very end of the first act, we don't really know what the episode is going to be about. One of the reasons that the sitcom is having trouble these days is that a traditional sitcom story requires a rather slow buildup before the story really kicks into gear, and slow buildups are not really tolerated by modern audiences.

So you see, audience. It's all on you. Chew on that this weekend. Have fun. Be safe.

I have to go put gel in my eye.

Gross.

Of Clomps and Keesters and Total Stupidity

SAY FOR a moment that you had an industry, selling...oh...let's call them clomps. And the clomp industry went very seriously awry, because for years and years, clomps had been sold in the clompity-clomp format. Then they switched to the Mark II Clompy. Oh, along the way they tried to get people to buy the 8-Clompy and ClompyMag and other stuff. But when they went to the Mark II Clompy, they jacked the prices and for a while the clomp industry was flush because everyone went and replaced their clompity clomps with Mark II clompys.

But then somebody came along and figured out a way to squeeze out the clompy juice and send 'em shooting through a series of tubes for free. The clomp industry was pretty dumb about this, and did nothing for a long time, and then they turned to lawyers, which was even dumber, and sued their customers. Which was dumbest. And the clomp industry basically imploded.

And the one bright spot in this was a magic fairy named Jobby who figured out a way to make a no-fuss service where people could get the clompy juice through the series of tubes, but pay a really small fee for it. And a lot of people went for it, because not everyone thought that they had a god given right to drink clompy juice for free.

Now say those stupid clomp fuckers wanted to bung it all up, and wreck the thing that Jobby fixed and they couldn't make work.

And worse, say there was another industry, selling, oh, I don't know...let's call them Keesters. For the longest time, you had to buy Keesters in a hard format. And then, like with the clomps, somebody figured out a way to extract the juice from the Keester Plant and shoot it through the tubes -- for free. And at the same time, they were trying to get people to choose between Keesters that came in black and Keesters that came in blue, and the blue Keesters wouldn't play on the Black Keester machines, and most people were saying...hmm...no...no...maybe the thing to do is wait and see if we can skip over the whole Hard Keester thing altogether. After all, with all those clomps and keesters, nobody had any shelf space left anymore.

So one day Jobby stepped in and said, "No, no -- wait, let's not let this get out of hand. Let's set a fair, small price and maybe most people will get in the habit of buying the no-muss, no fuss version, and enjoy their Keester juice our way. Let's all remember what happened with the clomps. We don't need another clomp catastrophe."

And say, even though that made a whole lot o sense -- let's just say that the Keester maker who was really not doing very well at all in the Keester popularity contest, decided that wasn't good enough and they wanted more dosh for their Keester juice, even though the thing was catching on really really well, and even though they were competing with the people drinking the Keester juice for free. And all this, even though they'd already seen what happened with the @#%!^ing clomps.

You'd think they'd wise up, wouldn't you? You think they'd listen to the magic Jobby who was the only fecker who made the thing work, don't you?

Nope.

Which just goes to prove:

You can be a big time executive, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to get clomped in the keester.

Sheesh. I mean really. Sheesh.

Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You ... Canadian Film!

From today's Toronto Star, in advance of next week's Toronto International Film Festival, Peter Howell strives to make the point that most Canadian films at the Festival are about disconnection. But something in the article makes me feel a little...rangy:

Prairie prophet Guy Maddin thinks the phenomenon might have something to do with how Canadian filmmakers "are allowed to not be so profit-driven," because nobody expects a blockbuster north of the 49th Parallel.

"We're allowed to be more personal and we're allowed to vent," he said in an interview from his cottage in Gimli, Man.

"We might treat the movie set like a psychiatrist's office. I think everyone wants to be as honest as possible, and all sorts of nagging feelings make their way onto the screen."

That's certainly true of Maddin's My Winnipeg, his highly personal and typically idiosyncratic look at his hometown, "the coldest city in the world."

Maddin alternately loves and despises his home and native town, a place he sees filled with nagging moms, threatening urinators, angry squirrels, agitated parakeets and, above all, sleepwalkers.

Winnipeg holds some kind of record for the most sleepwalkers. It's an apt distinction for a people who, to Maddin's eye, drift through their days not sure if they wish to remain in the city and build it up, or to simply abandon it altogether.

Quoth Maddin: "Everything that happens in this city is a euphemism."

Question: who is missing from this equation?

Anyone? Anyone?

Sorry. I'll just go back to my TV cranny now.

Is It Late September Yet?

YEAH, YEAH, Everyone in the world is posting this, but here at Dead Sticks Labs we like to be trailing edge.

And speaking of kickass creative promo....

What It Takes in "The Ipod Moment"

AN INTERESTING story moved on the AP wire today about the promotion that ABC is throwing behind Pushing Daisies:

A hybrid drama-romantic comedy about a man who can reverse death, "Pushing Daisies" has been heaped with critical praise based on its beautifully executed pilot episode. ABC, sensing the potential for a hit that could bolster its schedule, is lavishing the series with promotion.

The "Daisies" pushing started early with summertime spots running in movie theatres. Then came the public screenings, including one at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery here, at the increasingly influential Comic-Con pop culture convention in San Diego and at the New York Television Festival on Sept. 8.

Thousands of daisies, with tags attached touting the show, are being handed out to the public in big cities. Some magazine readers will see glossy, eye-catching ad that reveals a pop-up paper daisy.

Then, of course, there's the on-air radio and TV promotion as well as billboards.

The goal is to create early enthusiasts who will talk up the series before its Oct. 3 premiere, said Michael Benson, ABC's executive vice president of marketing.

"The most important resource is our on-air promotion, and No. 2 is word of mouth," he said.

For those of us who have seen the full Daisies pilot, this is undoubtedly good news. It's delightful. Romantic, breezy, funny, visually vibrant, with tons of heart. This is a show that you want to watch on a big screen, not an Ipod screen. But...Bryan Fuller fans have had their hearts broken before, whether it be Wonderfalls or Dead Like Me.

This strategy of ABC's is one that they've been pursuing for a few years. They pick one or two shows from their fall crop and give them an extra dollop of promo love. The catholic in me says it's almost like they break out the extra-special oils for the anointing. It's a sound strategy, and it also shows just how much work it is to really get out there into the public consciousness in a post-You Tube, too-many-choices-for-distraction age.

A few years back, the chosen shows for the fall for ABC were Desperate Housewives and LOST. And if my memory serves me, those shows probably did A-Ok in returning that initial investment. Amidst all the clutter of that fall, you simply could not get away from Housewives and Lost... if you had any interest in TV at all, you knew when they premiered, and you knew they were on ABC. Last year, Ugly Betty was the same way.

Unfortunately, here in the land of hockey and TimBits, there is a distinct anemia when it comes to this kind of promotion. There's a general feeling that, "well, it doesn't work" or "we don't have the money for it." What there isn't is an acknowledgement that this is the game. And if you don't get creative like this in your promotion, you are no longer playing.

We find ourselves arguing over things like "coming ups" or "previously on's" (The last 4 shows I've worked on, there has been extensive conversations about this -- when pretty much that ship has sailed everywhere else. Do you have anything serialized AT ALL? Do a previously on. Next.) We argue about whether to do a title sequence or just a title card and straight into the story. (Are you on broadcast? No title sequence. Are you on Cable? Do a great one to establish your look and tone. Next.) In other words, we're so busy fighting the battles from five years ago we don't have our eyes on the ball.

There's another wrinkle, too. For most of the Canadian Private Nets (CTV, Global -- um...er...wow...that's it - tanks, media concentration!) picking your promotion means shining up your small dollars and pimping your U.S. buys.

Driving around Toronto yesterday, I spotted bus ads for "Private Practice" on CTV, and "Gossip Girl." They will be joined in the next couple weeks for all sorts of promo for all sorts of shows. But there won't be any really creative promotional stuff. Why should there be? They can piggyback on the promo that's coming from the USA.

And there's the rub. They don't know how to sell, because they rely on others to sell for them.

No WONDER promo here falls flat! They're doing it with training wheels on!

Do you remember how CTV sold The O.C. when it first came out? Me neither. But boy, I definitely remember the postcard campaign for the show I saw in South Africa, where it aired on the youth channel Go!

Picture of the cast. Cutline: "What do these kids do for fun after school? Each other."

Now THAT, my friend, is promo. Also, that's what we can do in Canada that they can't in the USA -- we're not as uptight. We could actually push the boundaries a little more. If, you know, we weren't so Canadian.

Truth be told, if Canadian channels wanted their homegrown shows to be a hit, they could do it -- because they're only ever running one or two homemade shows at a time. You don't even have to choose which child to love!

There have been flashes of trying...when Falcon Beach started, Global went heavy on Bus Ads and bought out entire subway cars to tell us "It's hot!" Not the most original campaign, but a solid B for effort.

CTV only really got behind "Corner Gas" when they realized, you know what, people like it.

There is stuff in there that Canadian Creatives need to do too -- like come up with series that have a clear, easy marketing hook that sticks in the mind and won't let go. But there's no doubt in my mind that the major flaw in the ointment (yeah, I know what I just did there) in this country is in awareness.

Has anyone learned the lessons of Little Mosque? I doubt it. I've already heard grumblings about how Mosque was a fluke, etc, etc. But it wasn't. And while the CNN stories and articles in the Times were great, there, too, was the creator and executive producer helping to make a giant shwarma in Dundas Square in Toronto. They got a great picture of her, laughing in her hijab. It was nice. It was fun. It made me feel good about the show and want to watch it.

The Rent-A-Goalie guys took shots outside Union Station -- it got a slight ripple in the press, but nothing too major. But that shouldn't discourage. More. More. Go outside Toronto. Raise the consciousness one person at a time. Launch those websites early...have them be more than wallpaper...go for the sell, and sell the sex, and don't apologize.

But most of all, sadly, most of all -- step up. If the channel doesn't step up -- they're not serious about wanting the show to be a success. And if they're not serious about wanting the show to be a success, then maybe maroons like Jim Shaw actually have a point.

If Pushing Daisies doesn't wind up -- forgive me -- pushing up the daisies, I'll be happy. But I'd be a whole lot happier if I saw Global do more for Da Kink in My Hair or The Best Years...if CTV pushed a brand new Canadian show the way they do Private Practice, and if Across The River To Motor City got more than a few weeks of wild posters in major centres and promos on the affiliated channels. (That's unfair -- since they haven't really started promo'ing this show yet. I remain quietly hopeful.)

If you're not willing to sell your stuff, well, then let's just all admit Vinton Cerf is right and throw in the towel now. As much as I love finding cool stuff on the net, 90% of what I consume on the net is something recommended by a friend.

In the non-bit world, that equivalent is promo in all its lovely forms. It's the cost of doing business. Period.

Ah well, look on the bright side. Maybe there will be a strike down south, and the U.S. nets will start buying Canadian shows. Then we'll get to see how promo's really done.

Think that's far fetched? Maybe. Maybe not.

Californication, Ep. 3

YEAH, UM.

I think I'm done.

Honestly, it's like, an honour (or something) just to be nominated. (I'm kind of embarrassed, really, please don't look at me.)

SAID THE self-effacing Gemini nominees.

That's right. The nominations for the Canadian TV Industry's annual orgy of self-congratulation are out. The awards will be handed out in 27 nights of award shows in Regina, Medicine Hat, Red Deer, and, um...Dildo Nfld. *

*some items might not be factual.

The TV Noms I Care About Are:

BEST DRAMATIC SERIES

Intelligence
p. Chris Haddock, Laura Lightbown, Arvi Liimatainen
(Haddock Entertainment)

JOZI H
p. Alfons Adetuyi, Amos Adetuyi, Adeelah Carrim, Tony Dennis, Alyson Feltes, Marva Ollivierre, Stephen Turnbull, Mfundi Vundla
(Inner City Films, Morula Pictures (PTY) Ltd.)

ReGenesis Season III
p. Christina Jennings, Tom Chehak, Manny Danelon, Scott Garvie, Laura Harbin, Avrum Jacobson, Shane Kinnear
(Shaftesbury Films Inc.)

Slings & Arrows Season III
p. Niv Fichman, Sari Friedland
(Rhombus Media Inc.)

Whistler
p. Kelly Senecal, Noreen Halpern, Janet York
(Uphill Productions I)

BEST TV MOVIE

Best TV Movie
This category will be presented during the Gemini Drama, Variety and Comedy Gala on Wed. Oct. 17th, 2007.
Doomstown
p. Pierre Sarrazin, Suzette Couture, Susan Murdoch
(Sarrazin Couture Entertainment)

Eight Days To Live
p. Christina Jennings, Scott Garvie, Ken Gord, Graham Ludlow, Laurie McLarty, Virginia Rankin, Kelly Rowan
(Shaftesbury Films Inc.)

In God's Country
p. Christina Jennings, Scott Garvie, Robert Green, Julie Lacey, Graham Ludlow, Laurie McLarty, Kelly Rowan, Paul Stephens
(Shaftesbury Films Inc.)

Last Exit
p. Richard Lalonde, Daniel Iron
(Production Last Exit Inc., Forum Films, Foundry Films)

The Robber Bride
p. Christina Jennings, Brian Dennis, Scott Garvie, Julia Stannard, Simon Wright
(Shaftesbury Films Inc., Working Title Television)

BEST DRAMATIC MINI SERIES

Answered By Fire
p. Michael Prupas, Roger Le Mesurier, Barbara Samuels, Roger Simpson, Andrew Walker
(Muse Entertainment Ent. Inc., Beyond Simpson Le Mesurier, Muse Entertainment Enterprises, Terra Rossa Pictures)

Dragon Boys
p. Michael Chechik, Howard Dancyger, Ian Weir
(Anchor Point Pictures Inc)

BEST COMEDY SERIES

Corner Gas
p. Brent Butt, Paul Mather, David Storey, Virginia Thompson
(Prairie Pants Productions Inc, Verité Films, 3/35 Productions)

Odd Job Jack
p. Jonas Diamond, Adrian Carter, Jeremy Diamond, Denny Silverthorne
(Smiley Guy Studios)

Rent-A-Goalie
p. Chris Szarka, Christopher Bolton
(RAG-TV Inc.)

Royal Canadian Air Farce
p. Roger Abbott, Don Ferguson
(Air Farce Productions Inc, In association w/ CBC Television)

This Hour Has 22 Minutes Series XIV
p. Michael Donovan, Geoff D'Eon, Mark Farrell, Jack Kellum, Susan MacDonald, Jenipher Ritchie
(22 Minutes XIV Limited)

BEST CHILDREN/YOUTH SERIES

Alice, I Think
p. Gabriela Schonbach, Brian Hamilton, Jon Slan
(Omni Film Productions Limited, Slanted Wheel Productions Inc.)

Degrassi: The Next Generation - Season 6
p. Linda Schuyler, Stephen Stohn
(Epitome Pictures Inc.)

Jacob Two-Two
p. Vince Commisso, Scott Dyer, Steven Jarosz, Marilyn McAuley, Doug Murphy
(Jacob V Story Ltd, 9 Story Entertainment)

Spirit Bear: The Simon Jackson Story
p. Heather Haldane, Cheryl-Lee Fast, Mary Young Leckie, Raymond Massey
(Screen Door Inc.)

Wapos Bay
p. Dennis Jackson, Melanie Jackson, Derek Mazur, Anand Ramayya
(Wapos Bay Productions, Wapos Bay Productions, National Film Board of Canada)

BEST ANIMATED SERIES

Captain Flamingo 2
p. Kevin Gillis, Lani Barcelona, Trevor Bentley, Suzanne Bolch, Rob Davies, Mimbi L Eloriaga, Karen Lee Hall, Ira Levy, John May, Kirsten Scollie, Peter Williamson
(Breakthrough Films & Television, Breakthrough Animation, Heroic Film Company, Atomic Cartoons, Pasi Animation, YTV)

Naughty Naughty Pets
p. Steven DeNure, Neil Court, Wendy Ann Gardner, Kym Hyde, Beth Stevenson
(Decode Entertainment Inc.)

Ruby Gloom
p. Scott Dyer, Patricia Burns, Jocelyn Hamilton, Doug Murphy, Rita Street
(Nelvana Limited)

Skyland
p. Vince Commisso, Steven Jarosz, Marilyn McAuley
(Skyland Canada Productions Ltd., 9 Story Entertainment, Method Films)

Sons of Butcher
p. Max Smith
(S & S Productions Inc.)

WRITING NOMS

BEST WRITING DRAMATIC SERIES

Chris Haddock
Intelligence
Down But Not Out

Jesse McKeown
Robson Arms - Season II
Mussolini and Me

David Moses
Robson Arms - Season II
Saultology

Susan Coyne, Bob Martin, Mark McKinney
Slings & Arrows Season III
That Way Madness Lies

Martin Gero
Stargate Atlantis: McKay and Mrs. Miller

BEST WRITING, MINISERIES

John Doyle, Lisa Porter
Above and Beyond

David Sutherland
Doomstown

Ian Weir
Dragon Boys

Tassie Cameron
The Robber Bride

Moze Mossanen
Roxana

BEST WRITING, COMEDY AND VARIETY SERIES

Paul Mather
Corner Gas
Blog River

Mark Farrell
Corner Gas
Gopher It

Brent Butt
Corner Gas
Kid Stuff

Alan Rae
Little Mosque on the Prairie
The Convert

Paul Mather, Greg Eckler, Chris Finn, Rick Mercer, Tim Steeves
Rick Mercer Report
Episode 5

BEST WRITING, CHILDREN'S-YOUTH SERIES

Sean Cullen
Grossology
Fartzilla

Gary Wheeler
Jacob Two-Two
Jacob Two-Two and the Hockey Seat Hoopla

David Acer, Ramelle Mair
Mystery Hunters
Giant Shark

Sara Snow
Renegadepress.com IV
Blackout

Trevor Cameron
Wapos Bay
Something to Remember

So there it is. I saw quite a few of the nominated shows, and some I liked very much. As always, special congrats to friends of the blog Paul Mather and Mark Farrell for their Corner Gas noms.

And lookie lookie -- though Canadian screenwriting bloggers are woefully underrepresented in the nominations -- David Moses makes us not look too embarrassing for his fine nom for Robson Arms.

I'll be rooting for two shows I worked on -- Skyland and Rent-A-Goalie....and who knows, by next year something I wrote might actually be eligible. And then I'll say what I'm going to say now:

Come on, people -- it's an honour just to be nominated.

Good luck to everybody!

The Sins

WAS THE NAME of a pretty good miniseries starring Pete Postelwhatever a few years back. You know the guy -- Mr. Kobayashi from The Usual Suspects. (I am on hiatus, people. I don't look up shit.)

It's also my idea for a little peevy list. One for which I'll need you Canadian, professional working writers to decloak and pitch in.

You know how conversational topics go in waves? Like, three weeks ago I had never heard of assembly kitchens, and now I've had three conversations about them in a week? Well, another topic on that score has my nomination for example one of The Sins.

I was talking to a fellow screenwriter yesterday, and among the many, vast differences he cited in his experience working in L.A. versus Canada was the attitude toward contracts.

In L.A. and in Canada, the letter of the law is exactly the same: if you're a guild signatory, you don't start work without a signed contract.

In L.A., my friend says, this is pretty much the rule. You're not going to be writing or working in a story room unless your paper is signed.

In Canada, the rule is observed only in the breach. In the last four years, I have had my paper signed before I started working exactly once.

When I talk to other writers, I find that this is, in fact, absolutely the norm. (And yes, I know this is endemic in the arts.)

The problem is that it's getting worse. Time was on a longer project, I'd find paper getting to me after I started but not too far after. Now, I regularly hear about people who don't have contracts until after they're finished work.

Where it gets really scary is on the subject of payments.

The WGC is very clear on the concept of the production fee -- it's to be paid on the first day of principal.

So how is it possible that episodes get shot -- fully shot -- and people haven't been contracted for the script, never mind the production fee?

Other writers also have reported to me a peculiar militance when they try to police these contracts. Accounting departments that say, "you'll get paid when you get paid," who think that "you're paying paid too much anyway." Or just people who get annoyed when you ask.

What the hell is this about?

For many people, that lump payment may be one or two checks they get for the whole year. Mortgages are due, installment taxes must be paid. This bizarre sense that by asking to be contracted or paid in a timely fashion, writers are somehow being annoying or not team players -- where the hell does that come from? How did "oh my god I'm so sorry we're just getting that out to you," become "we'll get to it when we get to it?" When did writers become gap financiers?

I mean, we work in an industry where you have to make deadlines all the time. You have to apply for funds, you have to get tax credits in, you have to start prep, you have to schedule and cash flow and everything else...none of those deadlines can be missed without consequences.

...so why can't anybody -- and I mean ANYBODY, get contracts out, and get writers paid on time?

And what's our recourse? I mean, the reality is that on most of these projects if you didn't work without the contract the projects would sink. There's always too much urgency. But the urgency seems to go only one way.

If you have horror stories about non-contract and non-payment (WGC union stories only please, we all know non-union is the Wild West.) I'd love to hear them below.

What is it about the Canadian side of things that encourages this behavior? And what can we do to improve it? (And no: refuse to start work isn't an option. C'mon.)

Poky contracting and poky payments -- I nominate you for The Sins.

Summer Shmummer Bring On Da Fall

MAUREEN RYAN has the first handicapping of the fall season and it's a pretty good one, I reckon.

Last year, I loved the pilot for "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" and thought “30 Rock” was all over the map.

Within a month or two, “30 Rock” had become one of the gems of the season, while “Studio 60” took a swan dive in the quality department. So keep in mind that these impressions of the new fall shows are just that - first thoughts. And I reserve the right to change my mind about just about everything, which is one of the best perks of this gig.

If the networks’ clutch of new shows doesn’t appear to contain, at first glance, an instant game-changer such as “Lost,” be patient. Something great might emerge from this fall’s crop. Or not.

We’ll just have to keep watching.

Will probably focus myself on the fall toward the end of the week. Meantime, continue the fray below. Amuse me, citizens.

Know Thine Enemy

SO, ON THE weekend the Globe & Mail Report on Business ran a profile of errant cabler Jim Shaw. It's an instructive profile. Yes, yes, it's the business section. So the general self-congratulatory sloppy softball hagiography is to be expected. I mean, just look at the title of the article:

Confessions of a cable guy
The industry is chugging along, and the money is rolling in. With everything in check, it's the future that's on Jim Shaw's mind.

It gets slightly worse from there, but the upshot is this: Jim Shaw and the Shaw family have made a lot of money off Canadians. They've made it in the cable business.

They made it in the cable business because the CRTC had protectionist policies in place. These protectionist policies allowed the Shaw family and the Rogers family etc, etc, to grow Canadian-owned cable companies that didn't have to compete with American firms.

The other edge of the Canadians love American TV sword is this: there are an awful lot of people out there who would have loved to sign up to get US networks like HBO, FX, Sci-Fi, USA, Showtime and the like. As the CRTC dearly points out -- there are many Canadians who would love to watch U.S. commercials during Superbowl. But they can't. Because the CRTC says they can't. Unless you break the law and go for, say, a Grey Market satellite. So the CRTC put the kibosh on that kind of foreign competition, and the Shaw family prospered.

A little over ten years ago, times were getting a little harder for Cable. They saw satellite coming and didn't like it too much. So they were given a series of further regulatory perks. And in payment for those perks, they were mandated to give something back: they were to contribute to a new fund to produce homegrown Canadian shows: The CTF, or Canadian Television Fund.

Now earlier this year, Jim Shaw threw a fit and said he wasn't going to make his contributions anymore. He doesn't like the way his -- meaning your -- money is being spent. And a whole fooferal ensued, culminating in an investigation into the fund, and disastrous recommendations for reforming the fund, which I've blogged about endlessly.

So here's how Jim Shaw, protected monopolist, spun his behavior in his puff piece in the Globe this weekend:

With cable steady, Mr. Shaw has found other ways to keep busy.

When not involved in Shaw's operational matters, he attacks the Canadian Television Fund, a $265-million federal program that doles out money to produce domestic TV shows. The cable industry is required to pay more than half of the budget, through fees collected from customers on monthly bills. Mr. Shaw has become increasingly upset in recent months that the fund doesn't disclose how and where that money is spent. He wants to see a balance sheet similar to the accounting public companies must produce, and threatened to pull his payments eight months ago.

It has become such a hobby horse that he often does the work at night.

“This is good fun. This is the most fun I've had in a long time. It's my best file,” he says, motioning toward a stack of papers marked CTF. “All of the other financial stuff that I have to do – boring. Not only is this fun, I think it's important.”

Mr. Shaw has sent a barrage of letters to the CTF, most recently questioning why auditors have not yet produced financial statements for the program, which were due a few months ago.

He wants the fund to be accountable to the people who pay into it, and he figures the money could be better spent, suspecting that most Canadians couldn't name five TV shows the dollars are used to produce. And he wants the CTF to get an equity stake out of its investment, so that when successful domestic series are sold internationally, funds are put back in.

The CTF has always stuck in his craw, but it didn't become his cause célèbre until an adviser to former prime minister Jean Chrétien told him that if he wanted to change things in government, he would have to raise a ruckus. “He said ‘If you want to make it an issue, Jim, make it an issue.' So I did.”

In February, after Mr. Shaw dug in his heels and threatened to pull his payments and refund the money to his customers, Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission chairman Konrad von Finckenstein agreed to a review of the CTF, but threatened legal action if the company didn't get in line.

“I will litigate, trust me, if there is a further breach,” Mr. von Finckenstein told a Canadian Heritage committee.

Mr. Shaw is not intimidated.

“That's a tough role, boy, we have lots of lawyers too,” he said. “I don't know if I'd be heading down that trail.”

Ottawa doesn't enamour Mr. Shaw either, but he enjoys shaking things up for issues that he believes in. “That Ottawa, that is the town that fun forgot,” he says. “Brutal.”

It's vintage Jim Shaw, the cable guy at 50: He cares about what people think of his company, but he's apt to blithely disregard what people think of him.

Okay. Let's break this down.

A rich guy, who inherited the company Daddy built, wants to be able to decide what programs get made in Canada.

And now we come to the problem of the hammer. You know the hammer, right? The guy whose solution to every problem is to nail something? Well, Jim Shaw is a pipe guy. Cable is pipe. So what we have here is that the guy who owns the pipe wants to decide how to build the house. That sound groovy to you?

The problem is he's got his facts wrong. Like a true pipe guy, he don't know nothin bout birthin no houses.

In the many interviews and attention he got for his stampy-feet routine earlier this year, Shaw was devestating about the shows that no one watched. Problem was, one of his examples was Trailer Park Boys -- a bonafide, quirky, completely Canadian success. Jim Shaw, being a rich white old guy, doesn't get it. So he uses it as an example of what bad programming comes out of the CTF.

That's substituting personal taste for judgement. That's not dealing with reality. I have zero interest in Jim Shaw's tantrum, because I know the way that the drift has actually gone, and I know that in the midst of the worst, leanest funding crisis the domestic production industry has ever known, we are somehow managing to produce the best shows we've ever produced: shows like DaVinci ,or Cold Squad, which finally are being syndicated. Durham County, which rivals Britcrime shows for quality. Corner Gas, Little Mosque -- Slings & Arrows, which gets raves from the NYTimes. Genre stuff like Blood Ties that sells around the world and develops a loyal fan following. And yeah. Trailer Park Boys -- good enough that Ivan Reitman went and produced a movie.

By the way, in a stackup between those two on the content front, uh, I'd back Reitman.

Are there problems with the CTF? Absolutely. Do changes need to be made? Probably. But right now what Jim Shaw wants to do is substitute his judgement for those who are there.

And in his statements thus far, he's proven, unequivocably, that he does not know what the fuck he is talking about.

What do we know that Jim Shaw doesn't?

Plenty, when it comes to this subject. The danger, though, is that Canada is a country that very much loves to listen to its Jim Shaws. Look at the ridiculous CRTC recommendations for the CTF. Jim Shaw's loud voice, bought with your money, backed up by fawning profiles in business-friendly magazines, is shaping the cultural story of Canadian TV.

Do you think that's right?

Cause he has more money than you?

I don't.

Which is why if you are someone who works in Canadian TV, or watches Canadian TV, you need to make sure that the Jim Shaws of this world aren't the only guys being listened to.

We need to make sure that the false narrative -- "Canadians don't want to watch Canadian shows" gets put to rest. We need to remove the comfortable, cozy relationship where outlets that make money on U.S. simulcasts don't tank homemade shows just because it's bad for their business plan.

In the USA, people send nuts to save shows. In Canada, sending a letter or a postcard might just help all the shows.

If you're a Shaw cable subscriber, you may have gotten little mailings in the last little while. They've been playing games with stuff like online surveys with loaded questions that seem to suggest big support for Shaw and his "anti CTF crusade." Do us all a favor, and the next time you pay your bill, send a letter to Shaw.

Wait I have a sample letter for you. Here it is:

Dear Jim Shaw,

Nice Globe article. You're pretty full of yourself.
No offense, but I'd rather have the CTF decide what gets made, rather than a rich white guy who'll point to shows that are successful and popular and claim they're failures.

Stick to laying pipe.

Rock on,
(Your Name Here)

Oh but wait...right...Jim Shaw doesn't care what anyone thinks of him.

I got news for you bubby. Anyone who spins that line in the press -- cares a whole heckuva lot what people think. That's how massive ego works. You know Warren Buffet? There's a guy who doesn't care what people think. Donald Trump? Cares an embarrassing about.

Jim Shaw is way more the latter than the former. Tell him what you think.

And here's the ironic thing: he's not 100% wrong. Some of his ideas -- like having successful shows repay into the fund -- are actually pretty good.

But he's not an expert in this area.

You are. Cause you've got the remote. You're the one with the power.

Jim's just had it so good for so long that he's forgotten that.