At The Negotiating Table

YEAH YEAH, it's awful that there's no news. Everybody's all antsy. I'm with you.

So how about this link to a video produced by Disposable Television, featuring, among others, Seth MacFarlane and How I Met Your Mother's Josh Radnor?

It's profane, not like that thing with the cup that I've only heard about, but profane enough that I don't want to host it on the blog. But it involves puppets. And the subtle comic stylings of Seth MacFarlane. You were warned.

"Now let's go make Bionic Woman!"

In Treatment

I RECEIVED preview discs for HBO's latest experiment, IN TREATMENT, (Monday, 9pm, Movie Central and TMN in Canada/HBO in the USA) a while back, and I've worked my way through some of them.

If you're the kind of person who believes the idea of seeing a shrink talk to four different pages for a half hour a night seems deadly, I have to say: it's surprisingly compelling.

There's also no doubt that HBO, having lost the crown of innovation it once wore so effortlessly, is looking to try something new.

IN TREATMENT follows psychiatrist Paul Weston (Gabriel Byrne) as he has sessions with four different patients, one a night, Monday to Thursday.

The patients are various degrees of screwed up. The series is an adaptation of an Israeli series, as the New York Times recounts:

“In Treatment” is not entirely a plunge into the unknown, however. The show is HBO’s version of “Be’ Tipul,” one of Israel’s most successful and most talked about dramas ever. The American adaptation hews close to the original, with minor adjustments: a patient is a combat veteran of the Iraq war, not the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

It also helps that Paul’s patients have an interesting patchwork of neuroses. Laura (Melissa George) is a young, very pretty hospital worker with a fierce erotic attachment to her therapist. Alex (Blair Underwood) is an ace Navy pilot who had a heart attack after a disastrous bombing mission in Iraq. Sophie (Mia Wasikowska) is a 16-year-old schoolgirl and a gifted gymnast who may have suicidal impulses as well as an unhealthy relationship with her coach. Jake and Amy (Josh Charles and Embeth Davidtz) are a couple straining over whether to have a second child.

All of them are intelligent, cagey and hard to classify, let alone treat. And as the problems pile up, Paul’s confidence begins to sag.

The interesting thing, as the Times points out -- is that the conversational sessions themselves are puzzles. They're as much about what the patients are not saying as what they're saying.

On the fifth day, we see the cost all this takes on Paul, as we view his sessions with his own therapist, played by Dianne Wiest.

In Treatment runs for four weeks. It's an interesting experiment. Whether you bond with one patient and choose to follow only their night, or go for all five -- it's evidence that HBO, though not as sure footed as it might have once been, still knows how to take that TV frame and shake it up when needed.

Parallel Intersections

LAST NIGHT I went to see There Will Be Blood. Although, probably like everyone else, I was bowled away by Daniel Day Lewis' performance, the experience was strangely empty. I felt like very little character was revealed and that, in the end, the length of the narrative wasn't justified by the meat of the story. It was strangely enervating, kind of like the feeling I had after seeing No Country For Old Men. That film had me gripped for the first hour. But, the second hour felt like holding a large balloon that was slowly leaking. By the time I walked out of the theatre, both the film and my rapture with it were completely deflated.

* * *

A few weeks back, I found myself at a resto on College Street in Toronto's Little Italy for a brunch with some fellow TV writers. The conversation was lively and animated, as it always is with a group of sharp and open minds. I walked away with a warm feeling, but also a feeling of melancholy, which didn't make a lot of sense until someone else who'd been at the table articulated the very feeling: "that was the best writing room Canadian TV never had."

* * *

About eight years ago, I went to the movies to see Roland Emmerich's The Patriot. The film was one that I'd wanted to see because Mel Gibson hadn't yet wacked out. Besides giving me my first real look at a young actor named Heath Ledger, the movie also introduced me to the considerable charms of Jason Isaacs. Yet it took me about six months to see the end of the movie on video, which I quite enjoyed. I didn't see it the first time cause I had to leave the theatre.

* * *

Last Thursday I met a friend for a drink. It was an impromptu thing, so instead of going somewhere with an atmosphere I enjoyed, we just went across the street to the sports bar. As we talked, a couple of people watched the Leafs game desultorily. A much larger, louder group cheered on the Raptors.

I hadn't seen this friend in a while. Long enough that I didn't know he had a new job. Which he'd had for three months. Whoops. Time, it does get away from you.

Anyway, after an hour or so, the conversation turned to a really surprising place. My friend is an evangelical. A Baptist. And he asked me, the lapsed Catholic, what was it that I found appealing about the Catholic liturgy. The celebration of the mass, the service, the tradition...was there anything I missed? Did it do anything for me, even still?

I had to reach back. It's been over twenty years since I went to mass regularly. But there's been weddings and Christenings since. And half-remembered traditions, words that, I only need bid them come and they spring to the lips like they'd never gone away. I picked out elements of prayers, of moments, of traditions personal and games from childhood meant to pass the time. I articulated something I'd never ever put into words before -- this one part of the liturgy, where the blessing of the host happens and the priest intones, "Do this in memory of me," how, from when I was about sixteen that became a time, a moment as I observed the ritual where I fixed the face and memory of someone who'd died, firmly in my mind, and took a beat to think about them. Then the altar server would ring the bells -- that job used to be mine -- and the spirit of that lost loved one would dissolve, and I'd imagine it at peace. A quantum of solace, if you will.

He wasn't asking about the mass out of sheer curiosity. There was a point to his questioning. As there was to all these stories. They all connect. They all relate. But the how and the why's for a little bit later. Now I've got to go read some scripts.

Before we reconvene for next time, though, I'd encourage you to go read Jim Henshaw's piece here, and take a gander at Diane's here.

Blood Ties: "We'll Meet Again"

BEST IDEA WINS. It's the greatest part of working in a writing room on a TV series, when you've got a showrunner with the stones and the smarts to run it that way. Best Idea Wins comes from the top down; it wipes away all agendas and ego, it builds camaraderie and it results in the bestest product you could ever hope for.

And when you're the episode writer, the nice dividend is, you get your name as the "Written by" and behind it, a whole bunch of great ideas from the minds who worked with you.

Best Idea Wins. I just don't understand working any other way.

To maintain and to nurture a true "Best Idea Wins" kind of room, you need a Showrunner who approaches his or her job with brio and confidence. Not the confidence that comes from thinking you're right -- because no one's right all the time. Not even the confidence that comes from "having a vision." Because Best Idea Wins means you have to know your material and its creative heart and still be flexible enough to take things in a direction that you didn't expect, should that idea present itself.

As an added bonus, when you're that kind of Showrunner and you do give credit to the great people who work with you -- everybody just thinks you're being modest.

Epstein and I were laughing about that just the other day. The more a Showrunner takes credit, the more writers think they're grabbing; the more they share the wealth around, the more people want to credit them. (There's a reason Joss Whedon always talks up his writers, kids.)

Anyway, this little disquisition on Best Idea Wins is brought to you by Blood Ties' penultimate episode, "We'll Meet Again," which airs across Canada tonight on the Space channel -- 9pm ET, 6PT.

Tanya Huff, the venerable author of the books BT was based on, has her own take on the episode up at her LiveJournal here. I'm going to take a crack at trying to walk you through how the creative came to be.

First of all, I joined the staff of Blood Ties about halfway through their season, once I was finished writing my previous show. They were over budget, and people were tired, and changes needed to be made to economize. We also had the looming knowledge that we were trying to build to a place at the end of the season that left the characters further apart than ever. The first volley of this was the return of Christina to Henry's life. That formed the nexus of my first episode, "The Devil You Know." After that we saw a bit more of Henry's pull toward the earthly. We knew that in episode 19 (that's right, 19 -- not the silly 2-season marketing thing Lifetime did that just confused everybody) Vicki was going to stab Henry. That violation and betrayal was going to be deep and have bad implications for their trust, and Henry's feelings toward Vicki. When we broke Ep. 20, "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly," that's the moment where we wanted the characters to be furthest apart. And in Episode 22, the season finale, we knew we had to set up a terrible choice for Vicki. Everybody who's following the series, of course, knows that the ongoing choice Vicki has to make is between Henry and Mike -- so we wanted to give her another choice to make. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Episode 21 was a great dark spot of nothing. We didn't want to steal the thunder of 22. And we didn't want just a rebeat of 20, where the three mains really, really, really weren't getting along.

So what do you put in that slot to get the juices really going?

I relish this kind of opportunity, by the way. It's when series writing is its most exciting.

(Spoilers for Episode 121 "We'll Meet Again" follow)

By the time we got to the end of the season, we were all looking to tell stories that weren't so much about the monster of the week, but that were about the monsters that lurked in all of us. It was time to push our world a little bit. So in 20 we showed a bit of Mike and Vicki's backstory, when they were both cops.

What to do for 21, though? What to do?

In the room we threw out a bunch of pitches. One of the ones that really stuck, for the two Den(n)ises, was some kind of reincarnation story. We started from what sounds like a bad Japanese horror movie place:

Vicki encounters a man who claims that his reincarnated lover is trying to kill him. What they gradually uncover is a weird sport -- two people who have taken a lover's grudge through the centuries. Every lifetime, one finds the other and kills them. Last one living each lifetime, wins. But this time, one person's tired of the game.

And here's the first case of "Best Idea Wins." Peter Mohan, our Showrunner, thought there was something there. But that wasn't quite it. It was very fanboy -- not really our audience. I look back on it now and think, "what were we, high?" A bad showrunner or a panicky one or a non-writing producer would probably have tossed it with a glare -- but Peter...he ruminated. He nodded, and smiled...and rocked in his chair..something...something there... If we could just nudge it somehow...

It was Peter that came up with the idea, as far as I remember, that we tell a story of a couple that somehow refracts all the themes of Henry and Vicki and Mike -- we can't advance their antipathy anymore, and we can't nose into any of the juicy emotional reveals that are coming in 22 -- so somehow we needed to reflect what we'd come to know about these three. We needed to comment upon them, by riffing on their situation.

So we needed a pair of lovers who can't be apart, but can't be together. Something mythic. And not Romeo & Juliet, because, come on man, that shit's played out.

Naturally, I went to the Greeks.

I'd had vague memories swishing around the brainpan of the story of Hero and Leander -- Leander, swimming each night to be with his love, until one time the light goes out and he loses his way. (Hence, "Lee," and also, I think, "Helen.")

What happens if the light goes out, and you lose your way? What then? And what would that look like in a reincarnation story?

So somewhere in the room, the mashup happened -- a pair of star crossed lovers with a routine for meeting up in each life. A routine that gets disturbed because of something about our modern world. A man who comes to Vicki for help.

I don't know who came up with the idea of a teenager. Might have been me. (See, this is the nice thing about surrendering to "Best Idea Wins." Because you know that's how you're working, nobody jealously counts their contributions, or even remembers, man.) I have a vague sense of just pitching funny teaser ideas, and one of them was a young teenage boy coming in to Vicki and saying, "you have to help me find my wife!" Which, of course, is one of the greatest of Detective story cliches. It's cool when you can use things that are cliches and totally invert their meaning. It's tres post-modern.

Anyway, from there the usual story process took over -- pitches here and there. What's kept them apart? What's the obstacle? We know the obstacles that keep Vicki and Mike and Henry apart -- some are external, some internal. We needed our star crossed lovers to have that duality, too.

Somebody came up with the idea of them being out of sync -- so somehow this time, it's a Harold and Maude thing. She's too old for him. That's good. But what about that original idea from the top of the pitch -- where one wants to stop the game? There had to be something there...what would make her want to stop looking?

...A baby. She'd never gotten pregnant before.

Well, why? And what kept them apart in those lifetimes? What was the mechanics of it? We don't have to posit why they keep getting reincarnated, but there has to be some kind of reason in the universe...maybe the sense that they were unfinished, somehow... Maybe they were never together very long...so they never really got to finish their journey...and she couldn't have a baby...and what would make her easy to track...something Vicki could discover...

I remember being in my office and whooping with joy when I realized that, yup, women could be hemophiliacs, but it was really, really, really rare. (Thank You, Internet!) Super. Just the thing we needed.

From there, we hit the "wouldn't it be cool ifs?" I wanted a scene between Lee and his Older-younger brother. The idea of Coreen being sappy and unable to control her crying made us all laugh. A good comic bit of business for her.

What happened in the end? Did she die? Too cruel. Did he? Again, too bleak. What were we trying to really say about love, here, anyway?

There's a point where you've reached almost the end of your basic plotting where, intentionally or not you take that step back and you think, "what really do I believe about this?" And more importantly, what do the characters believe about this?

Henry is a renaissance man. He'd believe in Love conquering all. Vicki would be a skeptic -- maybe a skeptic because she's really too chicken to commit, but that's for the audience to decide...and what would Mike believe?

Well, Mike's a cop. Mike's not a superhero like Henry, and he's not larger than life like Vicki. Everybody wants the damsel to wind up with the hunky vampire because that's the fantasy. How can a poor old regular guy compete?

By working harder.

This is something I believe profoundly, by the way. I've always been suspicious of the idea of "the soul mate" and the kind of gooey, adolescent fantasy portrayals of love our culture shoves at us. It's not that I don't believe in the power of seeing someone from across a crowded room, it's just that...so what? When the dashing couple finally kiss, and the image fades to black, then what? Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Then comes the part we never see -- the rest of your lives together.

And that shit's hard.

Every long-standing relationship I've ever seen that lasted, lasted not because of a deep and abiding storybook love -- the fantasy -- but because of sheer bloody minded, stubborn, hard and endless work. Love that works makes us all grinders, just trying to get by, day after day, not get into trouble, build that trust, that respect, that familiarity...

It sounds a lot like police work. Investigating, dotting the i's, crossing the t's...being there. Okay then. Mike's the guy who thinks that love is hard work. Mike's the guy who's seen case after case of love gone bad.

Now I knew the emotional through line. The story of Lee and Helen was going to be our device to get our three characters to reveal how they felt about love. And it was going to force them all to take a pause, and think over the stuff they'd been together recently, and maybe come to a decision or two -- the result of which will be how they start out at the beginning of the final episode of the season.

It was clear that Lee and Henry would have to bond, and that maybe Vicki would at least try to express to Helen that which she could never broach with the men in her life - but the centrepiece in terms of plot here is that we wanted to show a turn in Henry where he definitely makes the choice that he's leaving Toronto.

I'd included a little telephone conversation off the top of my last episode, "The Devil You Know," where Henry is on the phone with someone, trying to suss out the last known whereabouts of Christina. It was a nice litte drop. And I was eager to explore this idea a little more. In our world -- in the Vampire lore that Tanya created, Vampires are very much animalistic in the sense that they can't share territory. Well, who keeps that straight? I had this idea that it was this one family -- a human family -- that had kept the peace and brokered the lines for generations. From there, those scenes got written lickety split. They just flowed out -- the stuff about the wine, Henry and Vicki, the back and forth and my grandfather warned me about you -- sometimes you know a character so well it doesn't even feel like writing. That's what it was like writing Augustus and Henry.

Researching flapper speak was a fun hour or so. "Dude, flappers were sick." I still laugh at that line.

From there, what else can I tell you? Doing the math of who died when and when they were in a coma was hard. Really hard. I math dumb. I wanted Lee to forgive his brother Jeff for something they did at Expo 67 -- but the math didn't work.

I also had, in an early draft, an exchange directly to tweak the fans. In the course of discovering his travel brochures, Vicki and maybe Lee discovered that before Henry was a graphic novelist, he'd written a few cheesy romance novels. But it didn't move the plot along, or really say anything essential about the characters so, you kill your darlings...

Back to the "Best Idea Wins." It's not just that a sure, guiding hand like Peter Mohan gets you to the heart of what the show's really about. It's that really smart people come up with really funny things to say that you just slip in there.

After my first draft, Dennis Heaton came into the room with an alt for a line that is just so completely Vicki that it makes me swoon:

"Real coffee would take this out behind the shed and beat it until it turned to tea."

I think Heaton also gave us the "what, did Mr. Wilson steal your ball?" Damnit, Heaton -- you scooped me on the Dennis the Menace reference this time...but one day... ONE DAY...

Sadly, most of the really mushy stuff that got written was probably me. But so was all the tough love stuff about it being hard work. So, what? I'm a hardass with a fondness for tissues? That's right ladies, tough and sensitive.

This script didn't get rewritten a lot -- mostly because everybody firing on all cylinders meant the "Best Idea Wins" engine was cranked way up. There was one major pass I did from the Pink to the Blue -- proof positive that no matter how much experience you have, you can still make rookie mistakes.

The Cast read off the PINK draft, and everybody loved it. But we could tell that Christina Cox was a little restless about it. And -- this is why you absolutely need your cast to read the script aloud -- it suddenly became clear:

I was too in love with my guest roles. Henry had a cool scene or two. Mike had his end soliloquy with Lee. But Vicki? Vicki was reacting a lot.

So the last pass, start to finish, was making it more Vicki. Beefing up her lines. Taking some stuff away from Coreen so that Vicki investigates alone. Having her drive scenes, not take the back seat. Tweaking the ending so she convinces Lee to give up, not Henry. As a result, there's a really interestng tonal difference between the Pink and the Blue shooting script. The Pink is a good story, a pretty good hour of Television. But the Blue is Blood Ties.

I didn't spend a lot of time on set watching this episode go to camera. The scene I saw the most of was Mike's final thoughts to Lee. And here, again, is why I love TV and how everyone can make it better. At the end of Mike's little speech, we're on Lee. And the expression on his face is...what? Does he buy it? Is this guy gonna get it and move on? Is he still dangerous? Is all of this just going to start all over again in another lifetime?

The way Tyler Johnson plays the scene, and David Winning directs it, you just don't know. It's a chilling note of ambiguity, something for the audience to fill in. You just don't know. I love it! And I love that while that's going on, Dylan still hits his note as Mike. We saw Henry make a choice earlier in the ep. Now, in this speech, Mike makes one, too.

And that's gonna cause some fireworks in Ep. 22.

So brings to an end my season of Blood Ties. It was such a fun show to work on. Such great people to work with. I know the fans may be disappointed, and certainly the cliffhanger of the Season Finale seems excruciating if it never gets resolved. But at the same time, if we don't get to continue the journey (which seems increasingly likely at this point...that's just my read -- I am NOT an official source) it's not as bad as some of those shows that just...stop.

Because, of course, if you want, you can see where the story was going. All of Tanya's Blood books are still in print. And though it's a shame to not be able to work Augustus and Coreen and all the great ideas Peter had for season two into that narrative, the books are still a cracking good read -- if you're one of those people who can't stand not to know how it's supposed to end...well, Tanya answered all your questions years before you thought to ask them!

If we managed to accomplish anything of value on Blood Ties, it's only because we had the smarts of Tanya Huff and Peter Mohan to build on.

Best. Idea. Wins.

(H/T to the Bloodlines fansite for the screencaps.)

Why Is Don Draper Smiling?

BECAUSE LIONSGATE signed an interim deal with the WGA today. So that means that even if -- touch wood -- the informal talks go to hell and the strike goes on and on into Bataan Death March mode -- at least Matthew Weiner and his staff are going back to work.

Mad Men Season 2. And more Weeds, too. Mush. MUSH.


Mmmmmm, yesssssss. Give me my Mad Men crack. I neeeddds it. In a very deep and Amy Winehouse kind of way.

You can tell me I need Rehab for my Mad Men jones, and I say, no, no, no.

Hit the keys, Weiner! Hit..the...keys!

They Call Me Mister Tube

I'LL BE ON CBC radio's Q again Thursday, talking about, among other things, the latest on the WGA strike, and the future of TV on the internet, including experiments like story2oh, Sanctuary and quarterlife.

You can listen in at 2pm local time on CBC.Ca I'm on in the third block, whenever that is. Radio jargon is so sexy.

EDIT: And the podcast is now available here.

Canwest Global Turns The Corner!

WHAT GREAT NEWS!

Hey, remember a few months ago, when there was all that ugliness between Global and CTV?

You know, weeks of duelling press releases between Global and CTV about whose American bought shows that they had nothing to do with producing and were just duplicatons of what Canadians would have been able to watch on the U.S. networks anyway were doing better in the ratings?


No? You don't remember? Come on, it was in all the papers. Well, the entertainment sections, anyway. Um. Yeah.

Ah, I don't blame you. It was a pretty silly thing to brag about.

Well now Global's getting into a more positive spirit! That's right! The channel that a few years ago (under a previous regime, it should be noted) proudly trumpeted their $1.98 special Train 48 now finds themselves positively giddy over the results of their return to the world of original Adult Canadian Drama! Witness this hot off the presses press release!

A Global Primetime Update

'THE GUARD'   GLOBAL'S NEW CANADIAN ORIGINAL SERIES
 MAKES A BIG SPLASH WITH AUDIENCES NATIONWIDE   PREMIERES WITH OVER 800,000 VIEWERS

(TORONTO – January 23, 2008) – The Guard roars ashore… Global
Television's new Canadian Original drama series, The Guard made its
national debut last night with 813,000 viewers 2+, and 464,000 viewers
in the key demo Adults 18-49, outshining the robust competition of
homegrown premieres in past weeks.

"This is an exciting time for Canadian drama, and our support of
Original programming remains steadfast," said Christine Shipton, SVP,
Drama and Factual Content, Canwest Broadcasting. "The Guard is a
reflection of the excellence found within our production community,
and we're so proud to be a part of it."

The Guard edged out all other recent Canadian premieres including:

The Border - 710,000 (+14%)

Jpod - 472,000 (+72%)

Sophie - 630,000 (+29%)

MVP - 349,000 (+133%)


(All data BBM Nielsen Media Research based on total viewers Adults
18-49 unless otherwise indicated.)

Isn't that GREAT? It's nice to see Christine Shipton and Global get a win. They've tried to step up and really turn the corner on the old days of doing the bare-bones minimum. But the BEST part about it, is that now that Global's gotten a taste of how they can succeed when they put on quality Canadian drama, well I'm pretty sure they'll just rush right out and make lots more, right?

Expect three or four more big budget homegrown drama shows on Global soon!!! It's gonna be so sweet!!!

I mean, after all, if you really want to brag, you really want to be able to brag about drawing the most viewers to all your original stuff. And you know, if you compare Global and CBC on that score, let's see, Global's at 800 000, um....and CBC is...uh...add them together... carry the 2...

2 161 000!

Oh come ON! That's EASY! Two, three new dramas on Global with those big draw American shows to run promos in, and you'll beat CBC like a red headed stepchild! JUST THINK OF THAT PRESS RELEASE!!!! It's gonna be awesome!

Yayyyyyyyy! The domestic industry's saved! Take that, U.S. recession! In your FACE, "we're not making pilots anymore Jeff Zucker!"

Global's got the press release fever and the only cure is MORE HOMEGROWN DRAMA!

Who's gonna SAIL through those CRTC LICENSE RENEWAL HEARINGS?

You are.

YOU ARE!

Seriously, all in good fun, but this IS great news for Global. See? Build it and they'll come. It's a great start.

A great start.

Now go greenlight your next CBC busting hit!

High five from Sticksville!:)

En Garde, On Guard?

A FUNNY THING happened to me while watching the first episode of The Guard, Global's new action drama which premiered last night.

For the first half I was very restless. The camera work, action, underwater visuals were fine. But the histrionics seemed over-amped to me. I felt like I was watching something by the numbers. It was dire. I said as much to a couple people.

Then I had to go out.

When I returned a few hours later, I watched the second half. And got sucked in. By the end of the ep, I actually found myself invested in at least two of the characters' stories. Jeremy Guilbaut's rescue specialist, obviously suffering PTSD, started to grow on me. The disorienting lurches of innocent moments -- a daughter shrieking in play, a slam -- that flashed to the horror of the opening rescue started to get to me. I felt tense for him. And Zoie Palmer's Carly, who earlier in the episode went for easy sex to de-stress -- a move I ho-hummed, suddenly seemed....compelling. By the end, and the second action sequence, I found myself....yeah...I actually cared what happened to these characters next.

So am I starved for drama in the wake of the WGA strike? I don't know. The buy in is such a strange thing. Unpredictable sometimes. Was my later mood simply more condusive to what The Guard was selling?

I don't know. But I'll be tuning in again.

Yet there's another concern lurking just around the corner. Shooting on the water is horribly expensive. And The Guard had to shut down production when the weather got too bad. Part of me worries what happens to this show if they can't go out on the water as much. Clearly that's what they'll try to cut down on when money gets tight. I'm not sure I want to see a Coast Guard drama without the water scenes. Who am I kidding? I definitely don't want to see it without the water scenes.

It's an ambitious show. Very ambitious. And a surprising pilot. Not perfect, certainly, but meaty enough to make me want more-- I just hope it can sustain.

Jerry O'Connell Cruises for the WGA

THIS WILL PROBABLY only make sense if you stared, gape-mouthed, at the Tom Cruise Scientology video sometime in the last week. If you did, it's pretty funny.

Whoa.

PEOPLE. Drugs are bad. M'kay?

Bummmmp!

AWESOME. The number from last night's The Border episode are in -- 659 000 -- a bump of 10 percent from the previous week, thanks to good word of mouth and a really strong lead in. So if you watched, thanks! And if you didn't, and you're curious -- be sure to watch it online.

The Only Oscar Noms That Matter (On This Blog, Anyway)

There are the Best Screenplay noms for the Oscars that may or may not happen next month. For me, it's all about the Juno. Other thoughts? Anyone care?

GET THE FULL skinny on Oscar nominations here.

Everybody! Out of the Water!

Further to the below, tonight Canwest Global tries to re-establish its original production bonafides with an adult-aimed action series.

VINAY MENON has a positive review of The Guard in today's Toronto Star. An excerpt:

A car has plunged into the water.

From a steep embankment, a man points and screams; his wife and two children are trapped inside the submerged vehicle. Responding to the emergency, a Coast Guard boat powers toward shore carrying its four-person crew: duty captain Miro Da Silva (Steve Bacic) and rescue specialists Andrew Vanderlee (Jeremy Guilbaut), Carly Greig (Zoie Palmer), Laura Nelson (Claudette Mink).

As the Cape Pacific boat cuts its throttle and bobs in the chop, the urgency accelerates. So begins The Guard (Global, 10 tonight), a new drama about a search-and-rescue team in the Pacific Northwest.

There is much to admire about The Guard, not least of which is its ambition. Shooting on location in Squamish, B.C., couldn't have been a breezy endeavour. But by not replicating conditions on a soundstage, the fictional Port Hallet is imbued with authenticity, from the pewter skies that hang over Howe Sound to the jagged coastline south of Whistler.

Many scenes are visually arresting, including the frantic opening sequence that eventually has Andrew under water, undulating toward the upturned car as rays of sunlight strobe into the abyss. Or, later, as a rescue chopper sweeps the water, its tracking beam slicing through the darkness like a flashlight in a Spielberg movie. (At times, it's tough to tell if this is a TV show or a recruitment ad for the Canadian Coast Guard.)

Any show shot on water is insanely, insanely ambitious, and it sounds like they've managed to pull off the Squamish, B.C. action sequences with some aplomb and polish.

The main knock seems to be some of the writing -- but in an action show, I don't see how you avoid at least some of the conventions.

I mean, where would Jack Bauer be if he couldn't say something quiet, then repeat it more loudly? WHERE WOULD JACK BAUER BE IF HE...

okay, enough of that.

Hopefully, as the actors relax into their characters, and we get beyond the nervous pilot stage, The Guard will come into its own on that score, as well.

After all, Canada's got a lot of coastline.

The Guard premieres at 10:00 p.m. on Global -- except out east, where it runs at 8:00 p.m. due to the all important simulcast of...something or other.

Blood On The Floor

POST CANWEST takeover of Alliance Atlantis, most of the AA drama development side was let go yesterday. So Canadian creatives officially have one place less to pitch.

Canwest still has to prove itself with its new comittment to Canadian material -- and Showcase, especially, was generous and occasionally groundbreaking in the material it did fund and support.

Varying degrees of quality, sure, but from Showcase over the last few years we've gotten:

Rent-A-Goalie, Trailer Park Boys, Slings & Arrows, Billable Hours, Show Me Yours, Naked Josh, Kink, Bliss, Kenny vs. Spenny, Moccasin Flats and probably a few I'm missing. That's more new stuff than most of the Canadian nets.

Until proven otherwise, there's just no way to see this as anything other than a loss.

"Thanks"

TO ALL OF you who watched my episode of The Border last night. No, I don't know what was going on with the sound. I promise you, it was not every third word being clipped because of the use of the word, "fuck." It sounded to me like something was tripping the audio limiter. Drag.

If you missed it and would like to watch the show in its entirety, well, son, you can totally do that at www.cbc.ca/theborder.

Breaking Bad

A MAN CAREENS down a dusty desert highway in a beat-up RV. He hears sirens chasing him. A pair of trousers flutter free from the side mirror of the RV and come to rest in the road.

Inside the RV, we see the man -- desperate, sweating...wearing only a gas mask and underpants. There's someone slumped in the seat beside him. Two more bodies in the back.

He loses control, and rams the RV into a ditch.

He gets out, pulls on a green shirt still fluttering from the side mirror, palms a mini DV, and records a message to his family -- but not before telling the police (on tape) that the recording is "not an admission of guilt."

The sirens get closer. He pulls out a gun, stands in the middle of the road, and waits.

Scene.

That's the teaser to the new AMC series Breaking Bad, which made its debut last night. This show's destined never to be the critical darling that Mad Men was, but Holy God, what a teaser. And what follows in the pilot is just as compelling. Breaking Bad is the creation of longtime X-Files writer Vince Gilligan, and it's odd and unsettling in a way that surprisingly echoes that show, even stripped of the former's genre trappings.

Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle is a nebbishy high school chemistry teacher. He's abused by his brother in law, he cares for a disabled son. He can't make ends meet, so he works the cash in a Car Wash part time. And his boss constantly pulls a bait and switch, making him polish the rims of the lucky and wealthy.

He comes home to a 50th birthday party and in a few short scenes, you have the feel for this man's life: it's dead end time. A decent man with a lifetime of disappointments and indignities piled on top of him. This is a family where a 15.88 charge at STAPLES can start an argument because it was made on "the wrong credit card."

But things are about to change. When he passes out at the Car Wash, that omnipresent cough Cranston's had since the teaser takes on an ominous tone. He's got inoperable lung cancer.

And that's where Breaking Bad gets interesting.

The route by which this by-the-rules high school teacher winds up going into the meth business makes Mary Louise Parker in Weeds look like Mary Tyler Moore.

I don't know where Breaking Bad's going, (and apparently, neither do they -- only 7 or a planned 10 ep season was shot due to the WGA strike.) and I don't know what its future can be -- with a terminal leading character. But man, it was an awesome pilot. Well shot, well, cast, well acted. Cranston is amazing. Well worth a look.
Sundays, 10pm, AMC

The Border Gets Some Love

FROM THE CANADIAN PRESS' Bill Brioux, writing on his blog, "TV Feeds My Family":

When I first weighed in on The Border two weeks ago I acknowledged the trap TV critics often fall into--judging a series by its pilot, as bad as judging a book by its cover. Time to turn that page. Tonight at 9 p.m., the CBC action hour returns with a third episode and, three chapters in, I'm hooked.

What delighted me about tonight's episode, "Bodies On The Ground" (written by Mr Busy Keys himself, Denis McGrath) was the sure-handed growth in both plot and character. The episode got off to a flying start with an unidentified private jet making an emergency landing on a remote stretch of road in rural Quebec. Mike Kessler (James McGowan) and his elite Immigration and Customs Security squad zero in, only to learn from special agent Bianca LaGarda (sizzling CSI: Miami babe Sofia Milos) that terrorists were on board and that a hostage situation is in play. Suddenly, three armed terrorists are roaming free throughout rural Quebec. Zut alors!

Now you've got Quebec cops pissed that the Feds are all over their crime scene and the Canadian super cops pissed that the Yanks are threatening to invade their turf. What could be more Canadian in a crime drama?

Which is a big reason why I liked this episode so much. I no longer felt like I was watching a clone of an American action hour, a CSI: Niagara or Toronto. The Border is a slick, exciting, all-Canadian show, with CN Towers and Parliament Buildings in backgrounds for essential plot reasons, not just to wave flags.

Bill also weighs in on The Border Anti-Americanism debate I wrote about last week. How much is too much? As long as we have stuff like the U.S. Defence Secretary saying things like NATO troops don't know how to fight, while Canadians come home in body bags from Afghanistan -- I'm guessing we haven't plumbed the depths yet.

Still, it will be interesting to see, if the show gets renewed, what The Border does in a second season if there's a change over at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington D.C.

That's right, kids. One year from today, W will B-Gone. (And the economy with him, alas.)

The Border: Bodies on the Ground airs tonight at 9pm on CBC

Bye Bye Emily

AH, SUZANNE PLESHETTE. You could never know how glamorous you seemed to a boy growing up in the 70's. The voice of sense and reason in The Bob Newhart Show. Surprise guest for the greatest ending episode in TV history, the finale of Newhart.

"You should wear more sweaters," Bob said then. But to that suburban boy with the bowl cut, ho-chee-mama. There's nothing that you and Mary Tyler Moore had to do. You couldn't have been more winning.

From the AP:

Suzanne Pleshette, the husky-voiced star best known for her role as Bob Newhart's sardonic wife on television's long-running "The Bob Newhart Show," has died at age 70.

Pleshette, whose career included roles in such films as Hitchcock's "The Birds" and in Broadway plays including "The Miracle Worker," died of respiratory failure Saturday evening at her Los Angeles home, said her attorney Robert Finkelstein, also a family friend.

Pleshette underwent chemotherapy for lung cancer in 2006.

"The Bob Newhart Show, a hit throughout its six-year run, starred comedian Newhart as a Chicago psychiatrist surrounded by eccentric patients. Pleshette provided the voice of reason.

Four years after the show ended in 1978, Newhart went on to the equally successful "Newhart" series in which he was the proprietor of a New England inn populated by more eccentrics. When that show ended in 1990, Pleshette reprised her role — from the first show — in one of the most clever final episodes in TV history.

It had Newhart waking up in the bedroom of his "The Bob Newhart Show" home with Pleshette at his side. He went on to tell her of the crazy dream he'd just had of running an inn filled with eccentrics.

"If I'm in Timbuktu, I'll fly home to do that," Pleshette said of her reaction when Newhart told her how he was thinking of ending the show.

I didn't know that Pleshette had married Tom Poston. Stories of people who find love late in life are so genuinely inspiring.

Ah, I'm sad. I don't even know what to say. A great performer who helped form lots of my favorite early TV memories, and probably a lot of my sense of humor. Emily was my intro to sarcasm, and a sardonic wit. And even as a kid figuring it out, I couldn't get enough.

Thanks, and Good night, Bob.

EDIT: Ken Levine has a wonderful (and more personal) remembrance here.

Canadian TV This Week: The Guard, The Border, Gas, Murdoch, and more!

WE TRY TO be a full service blog here in Sticksville. And because there's still a WGA strike on and not every minute can be spent watching steroid cases smash each other with Q Tips, and skanky ho's dance their tassles off, I offer fellow Canadians your other new viewing options for the week.


TONIGHT

Da Kink in My Hair Global, 7:30 Murdoch Mysteries (Citytv Winnipeg only, 9pm. (see below))


MONDAY

A new Corner Gas, (8pm, CTV) A New Degrassi, (7:30, CTV) reality premiere The Week The Women Went (8pm, CBC) and of course, The Border at 9pm. (CBC) Episodes of The Border are viewable online here.


TUESDAY

The big news today is the premiere of THE GUARD, Global's (yes, I said Global's!) new hour long series about the lives of Coast Guard agents. This series has been shooting in Squamish, B.C., has lots of action, and features JAG's David James Elliot in a recurring role. Here's Gotta admit, it looks slick, no? (Global, 10pm)



Also on Tuesday, a new Rick Mercer at 8 (CBC), This Hour Has 22 Mins (8:30, CBC), J-Pod (9pm, CBC)

WEDNESDAY

Thirtysomething women are apparently falling for Sophie (CBC, 8:30) And there's also a new Little Mosque on the Prairie (CBC, 8pm)

THURSDAY

The big premiere tonight isn't available to all Canadian viewers, just the ones who get a Citytv. The series version of The Murdoch Mysteries premieres. Starring Yannick Bisson, the show, based on the novels of Maureen Jennings, is a police procedural based in 1895 Toronto. If you've ever read Caleb Carr's The Alienist, (a great book, BTW) this show kind of has the same feel -- light mystery delving into the very beginning of police techniques that we take for granted today. Call it CSI: STONE AGE. Diane has a review of the first episode here. She didn't like it too much, but I saw it at a preview event and I actually found it quite entertaining. There's a bunch of silly stuff with Nikolai Tesla (a winning Dmitry Chepovetsky) and a conspiracy surrounding whether Toronto will go with Alternating or Direct Current for its electrification. I thought it was kind of swell. (Citytv Calgary, Toronto, Edmonton, Vancouver 10pm (repeats Saturday, 8pm); Winnipeg, just because you have to be different, for you the premiere is ... oh bugger... tonight at 9pm. No. I don't know why.)

FRIDAY

MVP continues on CBC at 9pm. (CBC has also put up episodes online, so you can view them here. As long as you're in Canada)

SUNDAY

A new miniseries, Would Be Kings, premieres tonight on CTV, 9pm. It's based on Shakespeare's Henry IV, but set in the world of policing. That could be interesting.

Da Kink in My Hair (Season Finale) 7:30, Global

Reprint: Writer On The Set

IN CELEBRATION of my first episode of THE BORDER, airing tomorrow night (Monday) on CBC Television at 9pm, this is the 2nd entry I'm reprinting from my experience on set shooting this episode, "Bodies on the Ground."

It's a big episode for Layla (Nazneen Contractor) and Gray Jackson (Graham Abbey.) Graham, particularly, gets hauled around and messed up good

've seen the episode about five times and there's this one scene with Graham that still skeeves me a bit every time I see it. Anyway, tomorrow at 9pm. Watch. Here's the entry from back in July 2007:

* * *


EVERY ONCE in a while, you have to drop a scene. And sometimes when you drop a scene, you try to get it the next day. But sometimes that requires you to rewrite said scene for a new location. But you can't rewrite the scene til the director signs off on the new location. But the director can't sign off on the new location until he sees what you've got in mind, or picks a new one. Conundrum.

So it is that you become the most useless carbunkle in the world -- the writer on the set.

Not a "Writer - Producer" mind you -- at least then you could bitch about how much this is costing. Just a writer.

Here's a fun little diary for you.

1. 0630 Print out map and call sheet.
2. 0701 Starbucks
3. 0705 Gas
4. 0710 On the Road; map in lap
5. 0726 Brake hard; map goes flying
6. 0727 Can't reach map; decide to wing it
7. 0800 Crew Call
   
8. 0805 Get off Highway
9. 0810 Where the fuck am I?
10. 0811 Fish out map; nearly die
11. 0812 Oooh! Cones! Never Mind. Oohh! New Ryan Adams song.
12. 0814 Back on track
13. 0818 Find entrance to set on farm; have to go park at base camp
14. 0820 Not basecamp. They are selling pies here, though. And they look delicious. Ponder that.
15. 0821 Go to ski resort that's supposed to be basecamp.
16. 0822 I am the only human for miles. Shit.
17. 0825 Cones! Cones! I'm OK.
18. 0828 On shuttle to set
19. 0832 Arrive on set; no one cares
20. 0850 Ask for and receive headphones to watch shooting of scene
21. 0902 Already bored
22. 0910 Actor calls me, "Hemingway." Am momentary mollified.
23. 0911-0930 Contemplate that the real Hemingway eventually grew so bored and despondent that he shot his face off. Worry about the next outline I have to write.
    
24. 0930 Something hot with bacon is on the craft table. Must resist.
25. 0931 Come on. Get serious.
26. 0932 Mmm. Bacon.
27. 0940 I have never been this bored ever.
28. 0950 Go with second A.D. down to area to try and see if Director's idea to make the lake look like a creek will work.
29. 0952 Um. That looks a lot like a lake. What am I walking in, here? Is that poison ivy?
30. 0954 Smack mosquito. Blood goes everywhere. We're talking end of Carrie, here.
31. 0955 Still a lake. This isn't going to work.
32. 0958 Find interesting copse of cedar trees. This looks pretty cool.
33. 1005 Climb into minivan to head back to set
34. 1008 Have to reverse back down the road because they're carting in a small float plane for the scene at the lake.
    
35. 1011 Still reversing. I may be sick.
36. 1012 Still reversing. Oh. God.
37. 1013 Okay. Good. I'm okay. Back to set.
38. 1020 Kibbitz with actor while they re-light or something. Am asked what the name of the actor who played Tubbs on Miami Vice was. Answer with confidence: Philip Michael Johnson.
39. 1028 Shit. It's Philip Michael Thompson, isn't it?
40. 1033 Is it Johnson or Thompson?
41. 1034 This is the first time in about ten years I haven't had the internet. I'm freaking out.
42. 1044 Thomas. Philip Michael Thomas.
43. 1046 Director yells "CUT." They have to adjust something.
44. 1047 Go tell actor it's "Thomas." Am very proud of myself. Actor does not seem to care. I surmise that he has in all likelihood moved on.
45. 1053 Third bottle of water. I am not peeing in a porta potty.
    
46. 1055 Watch the actors run the scene. The woman playing the grieving widow getting the news of her husband's death is beautiful, vulnerable, lovely. The acting is really good in this scene. Wow, it plays really well and they're really nailing it. And there's a baby in the scene (one of two twins, natch) and he coos or cries almost on cue. This is awesome.
47. 1104 Two takes later. I'm bored again. But the baby sure is cute.
48. 1115 Director has a moment before the next setup to go down to set to check out the possible location for the new scene. Awesome!
49. 1120 Director arrives at the set he'll be shooting at this afternoon. The plane's being set up by the crane. There is too much ammo in the little lean-to. The camo is too thick on the tent. He wants it turned around.
50. 1126 They want him back on set...wait..it's just over ther---Shit.
51. 1130 Decide to take a flyer, rewrite scene anticipating Director will love the new location.
52. 1136 You're kidding me. I've been here over three hours, and that just took three minutes. Longhand! Why didn't I stretch that out? What am I going to do now?
    
53. 1145 I have not been this bored since I laid down on the floor of Huffman Koos furniture store in Nanuet, NY when I was five years old, and my parents were shopping for a couch for like, six hours. I can't kick and scream like I did then because a) I am nearly 40 years old and b) It would just blow the take and make things longer.
54. 1154 Take transport up the hill to where I can get a cell phone signal. Call production office to dictate rewritten scene to Story Coordinator.
55. 1155 Bee! There's a Bee in the van!
56. 1156 Fuck Bee, that's a motherfucking wasp! I am getting the fuck out of this van!
57. 1158 Transport guy kills Wasp. Story Coordinator is still laughing at me over the phone. He will have to die.
58. 1207 At basecamp, waiting for the Fax of the new scene to come through.
59. 1215 Still no fax. Stupid story coordinator. Play bullshit game on my cellphone.
60. 1220 Actor who's supposed to play scene tells me how much she loved it when it came through yesterday. Heh heh. Uh, yeah! Shit. No pressure.
    
61. 1230 Back on set. Scene in pocket. They're moving stuff. I try to sit on a flatbed truck because it's the only place I know I'll be out of the way.
    
62. 1238 I have to move. Console myself with chicken salad wrap.
63. 1242 More shooting. More takes.
64. 1250 They wrap grieving widow, and everyone claps. Am very pleased to join in on this set ritual, since clapping is something I'm very good at. I feel a momentary unity of time, place, and vocation.
65. 0100 We've moved down to the Beach, but I still can't show the Director my new location because he has to block the next scene.
66. 0105 People everywhere around me are working. This is excruciating.
67. 0107 I am being eaten alive by mosquitos. I have very tasty blood. I have been told this before, believe it or not.
    
68. 0128 Grab D.O.P. to try and show HIM my location.
69. 0129 First A.D. yells that I can have Director.
70. 0134 Show Director great location. Walk him through rewritten scene. D.O.P. points out it'll be dark in here end of day. Heart sinks. Try not to process white-hot hate for D.O.P.
    
71. 0138 Director likes field with tall reeds. Can we rewrite the rewrite for a field? Yes. Yes we can.
72. 0145 Back at base camp. Sit down to rewrite scene.
73. 0147 C'mon. You're kidding! Really? I've, like, had a birthday here while I was waiting!
    
74. 0148 Dictate scene over the phone to Story Coordinator.
75. 0151 Story Coordinator reads it back to me. It's gold.
    
76. 0154 Fax of new scene comes through. Hand it off.
77. 0155 Back in my car listening to Amy Winehouse, heading for the Office.
78. 0157 Thomas. Thomas. Philip Michael Thomas.
79. 0158 Realize that I have committed the most serious professional sin a writer on set can ever commit: I have left before lunch.
    

Time on set: Approx 5 hours.
Time spent working: Approx 12 minutes.

* All times are not necessarily exactly to scale. I'm estimating most of them -- it's not like I wrote them down.

No one is that bored.

EDIT: sadly, there's one more entry to be made:

80. 1030 Find out that they ran out of light, and dropped the scene.


But you saw that coming, didn't you?