Seriously.

I drive like a 75 year old Grandmother. When did that happen?

Bothered By Bauer

24's politics have never really bothered me before. I know people have pointed to various parts of the show (especially the whole subplot with the "Amnesty Global" lawyer last season) and said it runs with a hard right Republican agenda. It certainly doesn't endear the show to me to know that it's one of the favorites of the Rummy and Cheney crowd. But there's always been just enough feints and jabs in my political direction to keep me faithful.

So why did I feel so wrong watching the end of last night's four hour first block? Sure, there were things in there that made me sad. And as a writer, I was pretty shocked too. I mean, if you're going to blow the Nuke in Downtown L.A. in episode FOUR, you're burning through some very serious story, my friend. Those seasons are never 24's best. It's starting to look like Day 6 may be more like Day 4. Remember that one? Can you remember anything about the plot of that one? There were like, nine plots in that overcooked day.

It's not like the viewpoints that I bring to bear on current world events weren't given airing. The President, the President's sister -- everybody seems to be saying the right things. Even the idea of working with an ex-terrorist who wants to go straight is a provocative idea. (I'm waiting for the discussion of blowback, although I guess Curtis fit that bill, too.)

I guess what bothers me, though, is that the United States portrayed in this season of 24 is the United States that Bush & Co have been trying to build in the public's mind for six years: the terrorists are wily and they're here and they can attack anytime. We have an incredibly well organized (as they always are) terrorist group, plotting and succeeding with multiple missions over an 11 week period. They're cool, they don't make mistakes, and they've got the United States on its knees. And you definitely get the sense that the three-months inaugurated President Wayne Palmer maybe isn't up to the task of doing what needs to be done to stop them. Because he's not resolute, see. He's not the Decider.

The 9/11 attacks were horrible. But the fact is, there hasn't been a bunch of attacks on U.S. soil since. And the 9/11 attacks didn't hit any of the places from where Bush draws (or drew) his strength. And yet still -- all of those things they talk about on 24. How people are scared and are turning on each other, how they're ready to shred the Constitution? Well, most of that has actually already happened, with nary a peep from the populace or the nation's media -- at least until recently.

In the world of 24, if not our world, the doctrine Bush & Co are pursuing seems measured and logical. A country on its knees maybe can't afford to think about the niceties. But America - the real America - is not that country. Except, in the real America, you have people talking about 'the terr'rists' in Montana and Birmingham and Odessa, Texas -- where they're likely never going to show their faces.

When the fooferal over The Path to 9/11 happened, one of the most disingenuous things ABC and the program makers' did was to say that it was based on the 9/11 Report, even though it contradicted a whole bunch of stuff in that report, then turn around and say, basically "it's only tv."

The whole point of TV images is that they have great impact. Greater impact, in fact, than articles or cool news reports about this or that. Everyone knows this. So when the Producers of 24 show a U.S. under siege, basically the worst Bush nightmare that's been sold and sold and sold -- and whose power was starting to wear off, finally, after they went to the well so many times. Well...I think that maybe the escapism that 24 offers just isn't fun anymore. I think it's a bit of a cheat, and maybe, just maybe, the agenda isn't entirely 100% gripping TV. In the world of 24, unlike our world, we've already been shown that torture works.

The thing that really worries me is this: could dear, doomed, tragic Jack Bauer actually be working for the wrong side?

OMG! Americans like Us! They REALLY Like Us!

U.S. reaction on the press tour to Slings & Arrows, because though you all deny it, it really, really, really matters to you Canadians what Americans think:

But once in a very long while, a Canadian series somehow makes its way across the border to be embraced by an American audience: SCTV. Red Green. Kids in the Hall. Due South ... Add to that list Slings & Arrows, the third – and for all intents and purposes, final – season of the smartly satirical Stratford spoof now set to air on, and partially financed by, the American Sundance Channel.

For which we can thank Canadian Laura Michalchyshyn, Sundance's executive vice- president and GM of programming and creative affairs, hired away in 2005 from a similar position at Alliance Atlantis.

"When Robert Redford and I hired Laura two years ago," recalls Sundance CEO Larry Aidem, "she had only one condition and it was that we permit her to buy as much Canadian programming as she wanted, with a floor of 50 per cent and a ceiling of 90 per cent.

"And we said very quickly, `Number one, what's the catch? And two, where is Canada?'

"But seriously ... our audience does not distinguish between the kinds of original programming that we make and the kinds of acquired programming that Laura and her team selects, often from around the world. At the end of the day, they're either good or not and they're exclusive to us, and in this case the audience just loves it."

As do the American critics, at least a half dozen of whom have come up to me this week to rave about the show (as if I had anything to with it, aside from being born in the same country)

(It will be interesting to see if they can resist the siren call to do a Season 4. Between that and the news that the LOST producers are trying to negotiate an end date with the network, somebody's gotta ask: Is U.S. tv finally ready to change a bit and embrace something other than the open-ended 22 episode season?)

Or are Canada's newspaper writers ready to be a little less provincial? Back to that Lost presser again: looks like, um...no.

Jack Bauer Sucks

I find it extremely ironic that I'm currently writing on a show about a vampire and yet I'm humbled, really, at the thought that I'll not be able to come up with anything as cool as Jack Bauer gnawing on a guy's carotid artery.

I mean, damn.

Seriously. Buffy never kicked that much ass.

A Bunch of Little Old Ladies In Pasadena -- And How David Milch Broke Them

With the semi-annual Television Critics Tour underway again in Pasadena, it's a good time to check in with some of the best writers writing for dead tree media, as opposed to i kiss you media (Ie: the innertubes, of which Dead Things Labs is a rustly bustly part. Got it?)

I especially like the writers who blog their daily schedules. The faux process of the whole thing is at least as interesting and full of silliness as anything that comes out of the pre-packaged sessions themselves. Probably more so.

I'm disappointed that the Globe and Mail didn't send John Doyle this time. I always find his writing about the TV Hacks on Tour funnier than the other guy, Ryan.

But there is a Ryan I will go out of my way to read: Maureen Ryan, whose The Watcher blog at the Chicago Tribune is always good for a laugh and some great info. For instance, here she runs down David Milch's description of his new HBO show, John From Cincinatti:

“I guess that's what I was trying to say in this answer [in a previous interview] that to my mind reality is a shifting and elusive condition. It redefines itself constantly. …

“And which is to say that, when I was saying that this is a story that takes place on the margins of things, the attempt to identify the coordinates of reality is itself a kind of problematic and conditional effort. It's changing all the time.

"What constitutes -- where are we when we sleep? What is our sense of reality at that moment? It's, you know, science now suggests to us that what has been perceived as matter for a long time is, in fact, energy. That what looks solid, in fact, is constituted in waves, that Einstein's beautiful mathematical equations which depict the nature of reality don't apply at certain levels. And I think that's true as well about what constitutes the natural and the supernatural. You know, it depends on what foxhole you're in.”

Then there's Alan Sepinwall, who writes for The New Jersey Star-Ledger (which, if you're interested in such little things, has extra coolness because it's the paper that Tony Soprano walks down and gets at the end of his driveway in all those Sopranos episodes.)

Take Sepinwall's take on the David Milch session for John From Cincinatti:

Perhaps sensing he was losing his audience, Milch retreated to that familiar standby: jokes about his legendary history of drug use. (He's now in recovery from multiple addictions.) Quoth in its entirety:

"I was talking about this research project in pharmacology into which I was dragooned. The freon aspect began when I was eight, and then I was transferred over to the alcohol project, and then subsequently to narcotics. And in all of that research, to the extent that there was a coherent intention, it was to ride a wave, which one could generate on one's own terms, that the self was suppressed and the sense of -- I used to -- nitrous oxide. I was involved in the subsidiary project involving nitrous oxide. And the great thing with nitrous oxide, I was getting teeth filled before I even had teeth."

Near the end of the session, stars Bruce Greenwood and Rebecca De Mornay, who had been silent the entire time, were asked how working with Milch was different from other showbiz bosses.

"Well, I think you probably witnessed the difference in the last 20 minutes," said Greenwood, whose tone hovered somewhere between amused and annoyed.

Awesome. Seriously, I think David Milch should now be considered the standard bearer for TV writer crazy. No...not good enough...he shoud be like the measurement of writer crazy. Like when describing people we work with, we should talk in units of Milch. "How's so and so?" "Oh, they're about .5 Milch on talent." "Really, that's pretty good." "Yeah, but they're 3 Milch's of crazy." "Oh, fuck it, then."

Finally, I don't think she's on the tour. And I don't always agree with her, but I love, love, love Virginia Heffernan's TV blog in the NYTimes. (And not just because apparently she's related to a fictional character on the King of Queens.)

Do you know any other dead tree writers blogging about the TV tour? Anyone you like to read? Let me know.

Now, I think it's time to go and crack one of those...book...things that I've heard so much about. I wonder if I can find a place to have coffee in Vancouver.

Hmmmm.

The Five Stages of Television Writing

My friend Vanessa helpfully pointed out to me last week at The Paddock (sigh. The Paddock.) that I had Photobooth hiding in my Applications folder. So, you know, whee.

We're all familiar with the Kubler-Ross Five Stages. What you might not be aware of, is that writing also encompasses five distinct stages. Anyone considering doing it for a living must be aware of this, as it will form an important part of the rhythm of your day to day life.





Stage One: Cogitation








Stage Two: Desperation









Stage Three: Flagellation





Stage Four: Inspiration





Stage Five: Satisfatction*
*Not pictured. Ever. Stage Four is also sometimes called, "Consumption."

A Few More Motor City Pics

These ones feature the "bad guy," Frank Calasso, played by Toronto actor Matthew Deslippe. Courtesy of his MySpace page.

Frank is kind of the nemesis of the piece in the period (1960's) story. Matt did a wonderful job in the scenes I saw, which is good because Frank (and especially Frank's home life) were some of the favorite scenes I wrote. I also had an interesting time talking to Matthew about Windsor, since that's where the show is set, and he's the only member of our cast to actually come from there.

Matt, when I come back to Toronto, I want into that poker game.

And if anybody else -- cast or crew, has got photos from the shoot, pass'em along, willya? Thanks.

30 Rock

...has started doing "Family Guy" style punch ins. But short, sharp, and funny ones. There was one in last night's episode about two writers and cocaine that made my pancreas hurt I laughed so hard.

Seriously. Tina. Call me.

Two People In The Dead Tree Business Write Honestly About Canadian Media. Here's the Latest From One of Them.

Over at the Toronto Star today, Antonia Zerbisias reacts to the Canwest/AA deal with a take on what it means for foreign ownership. Then further down she addresses the latest move by the CAB:

Yesterday, almost under the radar, the Canadian Association of Broadcasters, the lobby group representing the private industry, put out a release saying it is seeking to recoup over $790 million in so-called Part II licence fees.
Long story short: last month, the CAB won a federal court ruling that declared those licence fees a tax that the CRTC had no right to impose in 1997.

The money, which went into public coffers, was ostensibly to cover the broadcasters' use of public airwaves.

Now the broadcasters want the money back.

Specifically, they want their licences to print money for nothing.

Think they'll invest the three-quarter-billion-plus in Canadian programming?

Snort.

Which is pretty much what I was saying here last month.

This needs to get out from under the radar. The WGC, The DGC, ACTRA (whose members aren't exactly busy right now, remember) and other groups have to rally a big dollop of embarrassment. This ties into the Jim Shaw craziness too. The airwaves, under Canadian law, belong to we citizens. The CAB's members get to use them not as a right -- as a privilege. That 790 million dollars should be going not to the government's general revenue, but into the broadcast system to benefit Canadians and Canadian programming. And if they won't do it, then we need to go on talk shows, write MPs, scream bloody murder and talk about a fair market spectrum auction. There is no fucking carrot with these guys anymore. Time to sharpen the stick.

It'll be hard with the corporate media stranglehold -- but let's start with the CBC Radio types and take it from there. This is no time to be Canadian about this.

Rights, Responsibilities, and Jim Shaw's Checkbook Tantrum

This started as a comment response, then metastisized. I'm rewriting an outline right now so it's not going to be particularly edited. Forgive me for that.

Oh, one more thing. Watching Vancouverites drive in snow is like watching a line of fat kids in a swimming pool try to do the butterfly. I say both these things from painful personal experience.

In response to my pass along about the WGC's response to the AA/Canwest deal, Diane brought up this article, which flipped across the transom today:

OTTAWA - Calgary-based cable-TV executive Jim Shaw says he will no longer send his firm's contribution of about $56 million to Ottawa this year to support the Canadian Television Fund.
Shaw, CEOof Shaw Communications, says until the fund is restructured, he will withhold the five per cent of his company's revenues that legislation stipulates be used to support the production of Canadian TVshows...

``Over the past 10 years,''his letter states, ``Shaw has contributed over $350 million in direct subsidies to the Canadian production industry.''

Shaw goes on to argue that the ``CTF has become nothing more than a means of subsidizing broadcasters, pay and specialty services and independent producers to produce Canadian television programming that few watch and has no commercial or exportable value.''

The CTF was created in 1996 with a mandate to produce ``high-quality culturally significant Canadian television programs in both official languages.'' It also has an annual budget of $250 million a year _ $100 million of which is provided by the federal government.
That leads directly to another of Shaw's beefs.

He is particularly rankled that 37 per cent of the CTF's revenues are set aside annually for the CBC _ something he declares ``should be ended immediately'' in light of the fact that ``CBC already receives over $1.2 billion from Canadian taxpayers in the form of grants and mandatory subscriber fees.'

When I was a little kid, the thing that my Dad drove into my head over and over (and over, and over) was the balance everyone had to face between their rights and their responsibilities. He always made sure to let you know that he saw these two things as linked, and that you didn't get to have one without the other. You can't talk about your rights, if you aren't willing to fulfill your responsbilities.

Among the many dishonesties of the Bush adventure in Iraq was the fact that it became a deliberate strategy to sell the war to Americans based on fear, but to make sure that you didn't ask too much of them. So the tax cuts could stay in place, of course...and there didn't need to be a draft, to spread around the burden. Americans really weren't asked to sacrifice anything specific. That's why it took 3 years for them to turn against Bush an the war.

Well, the rights and responsibilities thing has also seriously gotten out of whack in the Canadian broadcast sector.

Jim Shaw's obviously a curmudgeon with a beef, but my feeling is that he's using the cudgel that he has to try and force a discussion. I could be wrong, but I'm going to hope that he actually wouldn't throw current programs out of whack to make his point. But you have to admit, it's a great stunt to get people listening.

So what's he doing?

Well, for one thing, I happen to not think he's wrong about the CBC and the CTF. I think that the entire issue of what we want the CBC to be, what its purpose is, and how it will accomplish that, needs to be discussed openly, and some binding recommendations need to be made to refocus and reframe the corporation. The CBC has a lot of competing demands put on it. Its mission is diffuse and unfocused. Even the greatest cheerleaders admit that it's asked to do way too much, without a clear plan or stable funding. But I think his point - that a corporation that gets lotsa dough from one place shouldn't get it from another -- well, there's nothing inherently ridiculous about that. He's got a point.

But-- and this is a big but --if it doesn't get CTF money, then where does it get the money from? For years, they've cut CBC's grant without spelling out what's expected of it, and accountability is lacking because it's run as a bureaucracy and not a business. Fiefdoms rule and plans -- expensive ones -- are made and then abandoned without benchmarks or a plan of victory. (You thought the Bush comparison off the top was superfluous, didn't you? Take that, bitches!)

Three years ago the CBC wanted to have a daily serial. So they commissioned a couple. By the time they were done, they were dumped on the air with no promo and left to wither on the vine. Why? New chiefs. New fiefdoms. More money down the drain.

Should the CBC have commercials? Should they do sports? Should they do lots more drama? Should they do cultural programming? Should they try to get ratings, or should they be an antidote to the American offerings of the Canadian private broadcasters?

I have views on all these things. I'm sure Jim Shaw does too. I have a stupid blog. He has that $56 million check he writes once a year. Who's got trump?

Money talks -- everywhere. If Jim wants to stamp his feet, good on him. Because shit needs to be said. And you know what? Maybe Jim's dead wrong and the CBC should get CTF money. But let's talk about it. Because - and here's the real point - the system aint working well right now. If we actually talked about it, well, maybe it would turn out that Jim's dead wrong. Then, suck it up buttercup and write your check. But the reason why he's stamping his feet is because our entire industry is based on looking the other way. Now Jim's gonna take his checkbook and go home. Awk-ward.

The rest of it, I think, is open to discussion too. The private broadcasters in this country do pay too little even when they do make shows. The license fees are too low. In a real sense, the CTF has become yet another source of welfare for businesses that are very profitable -- profitable enough to spend 2.3 billion dollars on mergers. (By the way, that's about THREE HUNDRED 6 part TV series like Across the River to Motor City.) In other words, say it with me now-- they're very quick to claim their rights, and have been extremely effective in denying their responsibilties.

They're so confident of this, that the head of their lobby group can deride having to spend money on Canadian TV altogether, even though they get breaks on things like cable substitution and a protected market. They can even have the stones to get up there before the CRTC, cry poor, and demand cable fees for broadcasting U.S. shows to you that you get anyway on the U.S. channels.

You don't think that has something to do with Jim Shaw's tantrum? You bet your sweet bippy it does.

Remember -- the discussion is never going to take place if we leave it to pols. Because there are no votes in Canadian TV. (Beyond we who make it, I mean.) It's not an issue that's on the radar, for all the reasons that we've talked about on this blog, and Tv, Eh? and in John Doyle's column in the Globe a million times.

Canadians are wonderfully patriotic. They don't want to be like Americans. They just want to watch every piece of shit on American TV, for free, like they're Americans. Is that inconsistent? Hell yeah it is. Let's talk about that, too.

Jim Shaw may regret opening the whole can of worms by putting down his pen, but fuck it. It's past time. This shit's broken hard. Let's talk. But let's talk about all of it. And this time, maybe the papers won't punk out like they did at the CRTC hearings.

UPDATE: one of the things about writing something fast is sometimes you reread it later and realize, mmm...I left something out. And it's this: I've met exactly two people in my life who worked at the CTF. And they both worked very, very, very hard, and believed in Canadian TV powerful much. And if Jim Shaw actually does follow this thing all the way through, and doesn't cough up the money, then -- and this is the point that maybe didn't come through -- he's a dink. Fullstop.

(this post was also edited to correct a math mistake above)

The Writers Guild of Canada Asks The Big Question

The WGC just sent out a press release about the AA/Global merger news that says it all. Great stuff.

Why is CanWest buying Alliance Atlantis if broadcasters are so poor?

January 11, 2007 – At the recent CRTC hearings into the future of Canadian television, private, conventional broadcasters like CTV and CanWest Global said the rise of Internet programming and other technologies have eroded their revenues and they are too poor to spend money on Canadian drama.

If broadcasting is such a losing proposition, why would CanWest want to buy Alliance Atlantis’ 13 specialty channels, let alone pay $2.3 billion for it?

“We keep on hearing the same story from the broadcasters – they are losing money due to market fragmentation and have no money for Canadian drama,” says Maureen Parker, Executive Director of the Writers Guild of Canada. “Well, this CanWest/Alliance Atlantis deal blows that argument out of the water. It’s obvious that broadcasting continues to be a lucrative business.”

Last November, Glenn O’Farrell, head of the Canadian Association of Broadcasters, said it was a losing battle for broadcasters to try to compete for audiences when Internet sites such as YouTube and MySpace show amateur videos for free. But in its December 2006 report on the affect of technology on the broadcasting system, the CRTC concluded that new media technologies are not yet having a significant impact on traditional radio and television broadcasting audiences.

So although technology is offering new ways for Canadians to find entertainment and information, broadcasting remains the foundation for the entertainment industry in our country. And that’s why broadcasters such as CanWest are willing to pay big bucks to buy more television channels.

“At the television policy review in December we asked the CRTC to require private, English-language broadcasters to spend a minimum of 7% of their advertising revenues on the production of Canadian drama,” says Parker. “It’s a fair and manageable requirement, and the broadcasters can obviously afford it.

“The CRTC needs to come to the realization that broadcasting is a lucrative business and the broadcasters have the resources to produce and air more homegrown Canadian drama on their channels.”

The Winter of Our Discontent

If you happen to be currently dating a writer, this article has a nice little overview, in one life, of the kind of people we are.


The writer Jack Winter, at left.

Don't say you weren't warned.

5 Answers

To the "Five Things You Don't Know About Me" Post.

• Of all the things I've written, I'm probably proudest of the 11'o'clock number I wrote for a spoof musical.

Sadly, this is true. The song is "That Goose Is Cooked," from "Top Gun! The Musical." TG!TM was set backstage at a rehearsal for a megamusical based on...you guessed it, that movie...It was a play I started out writing for the Toronto Fringe based on an anecdote from someone else's dinner party. Someone was challenged to name the worst possible movie that you could make into a Broadway Musical. Top Gun won. (though in the show, we referenced what I'm sure would be a close second if anyone ever wrote it, "Apocalypse---WOW!" )

I wrote the book and the lyrics of Top Gun! really quickly (half the songs were backstage, Chorus Line-like numbers, and the other half were supposed to be songs from the musical itself.) A very gifted and wonderfully connected Canadian Musical Theatre musician, composer, and musical director, Scott White, wrote the music.

In our version, we made Maverick's partner Goose a woman (of course) and That Goose Is Cooked was the song Maverick sang when she died. Very Les Miz. Very Silly.

The actor who played Maverick, Dmitry Chepovetsky, sold the song unbelievably. (Which is why he got a Dora Award (Toronto Theater Award) nomination for his performance. Dmitry can now be seen playing Bob on Re:Genesis) The songs from within the musical were the most fun to write, (how could they not be, with titles like "We've Got A Plane To Catch," "You Can Ride My Tail," and "I'll Never Be Alone (Up There.)" but to this day nothing's tickled me quite as much as That Goose Is Cooked, which was written in about fifteen minutes at my dining room table. Part of it goes like this:

...But You/You were so funny, so wise,
So full of surprises/ You helped me to see,
Now you're debris/And it should have been me,
And now, Finally I feel the cost,
I've crashed down to Earth,
And I know what I lost.
What I lost...

Now...
That Goose is Cooked/That Fish is Fried/That Puppy's Roadkill/That Hamster Died!

(pause)

That pig is bacon/The Earth is Shaking/And Why?
Just Look in my eyes now/Cause these tears are Dry.

Brought the house down every night. There's a production going up in Dallas in March 2007, I think.

• I was a Florida voter in the 2000 U.S. Presidential ElectionTrue.

Also true. Under U.S. law you vote from the place you were last a resident. And for me that's Florida. I had already given notice that I was quitting my job to go back to school when the election happened. To this day I don't know if my absentee ballot was ever counted. Oh, but the nice TV company did basically pay me to watch CNN for 37 days. Whoops.

As for the others...I did indeed spit on Stephen Fry (on the set of Gormenghast; accident,) knocked over Charlton Heston (while carrying a stack of tapes; accident,) peed beside Joey Ramone (down the hall from Muchmusic; accident) and signed an autograph, "Kevin Smith" (at the Film Festival Party; totally on purpose -- but in my defense, she was ridiculously hot.) And I did sit through an unsettling job interview with the dear Marcia Martin, sister of Andrea, who laughs like Edith Prickley and was one of my favorite bosses ever.

My sister and I also share a birthday. But... we've celebrated it exactly once, when she turned thirty, and I was four years older, mourning the fact that I was passing out of my demographically desirable years. So there it is. The petit lie.

So there you go.

Motor City Pictures

So, doing a surfing thing today and came across the website of a really great guy I worked with on Across The River To Motor City. Patrick Antosh was the Costume Designer and to say that he did a great job would be to understate it by a factor of, oh, call it eleventy-billion.

One of the problems of not having a populated story department is that there's very little play you get in the back and forth of talking out the logic points in the script. Of all the Department Heads, Patrick was the one who really went out of his way to come to me to discuss this point or that point, and ask "what did you mean?" and "Am I reading this right?" He really enjoyed the scripts, really got them, and he always had such a great attitude that whenever I talked to him he had the virtue of making a tough day (as many of them were) seem warmer. When things became tough sloughing, Patrick was a guy who always had a smile.

He also gave me one of those, "huh, never thought of that" gems, when he pointed out that one of the big problems with making his costume budget was the fact that we had a tall cast. Apparently, part of the reason why all those actors are short is that it really saves money on the costumes.

Who knew?

Anyway, I cadged these great photos from Patrick's website. In the photo at right, we see Jessie Preacher (RAVEN DAUDA) in the office at Ambassador Investigations, circa early 1960's. Jessie's kind of the conscience of the show. It's sad that when we had to make script cuts, a juicy subplot of Jessie's had to go. Perils of budget, don'tcha know. Raven really shone in all the stuff I've seen so far.

And at top you see Raven with our hero, the young Ben Ford (SASHA ROIZ) c. 1963. Sasha was a real pro, and a nicer actor I don't think I've ever met.

So thanks to everybody, and thanks to Patrick. If you're looking for a costume designer, people -- he's the bee's knees. And if he's not the bee's knees, then he probably can make them for you. Even if you're six-four.

And The Consolidation Dance Continues

It just got announced that Canwest Global is buying Alliance Atlantis. This means that the specialty channels in the AA stable, including History Television and Showcase, will now be owned by Global.

This means that in the last year, pending CRTC approval, Canadian Creatives have lost two independent places to pitch their series: CHUM and Alliance Atlantis/Showcase.

They will probably have to create a "benefits" fund for the sale, but it's hard to see how this is good for anyone who works in content creation.

It's great for Canwest Shareholders, though, as the press release points out.

Wonderful. So happy I can't even link to it because to do so would require me to put down the kitchen knife.

The Numbers are In, and...

...Little Mosque did over 2 million viewers last night.

Now, that is great news for CBC and for Canadian TV generally...

...unless the dropoff next week is horriffic. The numbers will drop. But how much? We'll see.

In any case, I hope everybody basks. The show is not without its problems, but they're fixable. I'm glad they did well.

Save Me, Al Gore

I can't believe that I had to come to Vancouver to get snow. Seriously. On the Rick Mercer Report last night they had the sharpest political joke I've seen in months -- a new recycling box, the grey bin, for dead polar bears who'll soon turn up on our doorsteps as they move south.

It's funnier when he does it.

And yeah, I'm a hypocrite about Global Warming and environmental issues as much as much as anyone in North America because, you know, damn son, I want one of them Iphones powerful much.

Oh well, at least I get to meet in Vancouver today and not have to drive to Maple Ridge. Time is short for me, I know that I haven't answered the five things you don't know about me yet, and depending on how else my day plays out I may have time for a longer post on that -- and maybe something else, too -- later tonight.

Little Mosque: A Slam Dunk, Sez Doyle

Well. You don't get reviews much better than this:

Today, we celebrate a triumph. What arrives tonight on CBC is the smartest thing the broadcaster has done in years.

Little Mosque on the Prairie (CBC, 8:30 p.m.) is no masterpiece of comedy or social observation. It's hokey as hell. But it's terrifically good-natured, has a few terrific jokes and its mere existence is a grand-slam assertion that Canadian TV is different and that the best of Canadian TV amounts to a rejection of the hegemony of U.S. network TV.

He goes on:

It's notable that Little Mosque on the Prairie, while it's a sitcom, isn't derived from the U.S., network model. It has a British feel to it. The gentle mocking of a small community and celebration of the eccentrics within it has been a Britcom staple for years -- shows such as Ballykissangel, Hamish Macbeth and Doc Martin have mined the genre with glorious results.

And the important thing is this -- popular, consequential Canadian TV is a vigorous demonstration of our difference from the United States in our attitudes and national character. Trailer Park Boys celebrates lowlifes, dope-smoking and all manner of vulgarity. Da Vinci's Inquest and Intelligence deal with the reality of a dope economy and the thin line between cops and criminals. Corner Gas asserts that there's wonderful entertainment in the most gentle, never-nasty humour.

The topics and the substance of these shows stand as rejections of the U.S. network style and preoccupations. Little Mosque on the Prairie is nobly in that Canadian tradition. The U.S. media can huff and puff in wonder, but this is who we are, and we're fine with it, thanks. And thanks to CBC for doing its job.

So. There it is.

Little Mosque In The Prairie premieres on CBC Tuesday night, and Repeats Wednesday

Who Comes To Speak For the Skin And The Bone?

I got lost four times this morning, went over a bridge I didn't want to go over, almost saw Surrey by mistake, and now I sit pounding outline in a tiny little office with bile-yellow walls. Don't tell me showbiz isn't glamourous.

On that note, I don't have time to get into it very deeply, (or at all) but I want to direct you all to the fine post by Alex this morning about the ACTRA strike. ACTRA, the Canadian Union that represents writers, went on strike this morning. Talks, I believe, are ongoing.

It may seem frivolous in a world where Reagan fired the air traffic controllers and Thatcher crushed the miners, to speak about privileged, pampered actors and their labor concerns. Okay...it is a little silly. But if you care about good TV and Movies, it's also important. Go let Alex tell you why.

To my brother and sister performers walking picket lines today, I say, good luck. (NOT break a leg.)

Of course, I know that's easy for me to say -- since I'm in B.C. and I won't be affected by this strike, unless it goes on for months (in which case we're all in trouble.) May this end quickly and the spirit of compromise prevail so we can all get back to fixing the 1001 other things that threaten to send our industry the way of the mastodon.

Fog On The Mountains

Pretty.