Friends, With Benefits, or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love the Merger

[CANADIAN TV] Ok. So it's been a week now. Little details about the Bell-Globemedia takeover of CHUM are filtering through. Yeah, media concentration is bad, but it's also a fact of life, and if you're a creative person -- and even an audience person, there's a reason why this could actually benefit you.

First of all, let me say something bold: I don't think you've been well served, as viewers, by your Canadian homegrown drama up til now. There. I said it. There are a few shows that I think are wildly entertaining. On that list, I would put Trailer Park Boys, Corner Gas, Degrassi and Slings & Arrows. Below that, there's a tier of shows that I think are trying really, really hard, and hitting some of the time, and missing some other times. What's interesting is that, within their little boxes, the creative "hits" have inspired exactly what a lot of people say Canadian TV doesn't inspire: joy and loyalty and excitement. Get around a couple of TPB fans when they see Bubbles on the street and you'll see what I mean. But you'll also see it on the message boards for Degrassi, and I even saw it at a dinner party as a long time Stratford fan waxed enthusiastically about Slings & Arrows, and how fun it was to see the backstage goings-on in the theatre she so loved (and then, astonishingly, watched as three other ladies agreed with her -- AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE SHOW. They had all SEEN it. Imagine that!

The reality is that for the domestic Canadian TV industry to mature, there have to be a whole lot more shows like that. We don't do pilots much in Canada -- we tend to greenlight 13 scripts or 6 or 8 and then go into production. Is this the best way?

We also tend to split the responsibility of showrunner so that the person who has the writing vision and the person who can get the show made are different people. Is this the best way?

We tend to pack most of our production into the summer, and premiere most of our series in the winter or ... lately, it seems ... summer. Is this the best way?

How do you answer all these questions? Well. I don't know. But I do know this:

As a condition of approving any ownership change in Canadian media, the broadcast regulator, the CRTC, demands about 10 percent of the sale be set aside in "benefits," which means a fund that can go to other creative projects. The last such big fund was called the BCE Benefits fund, which was over 100 million dollars (CDN) that was triggered by the formation of Bell Globemedia several years back.

Playback magazine speculates that any fund triggered by the takeover could stretch to either $140 or 160 Million CDN, depending on what math you use.

There's also a regulatory decision about percentage ownership change in the makeup of the companies that make up Bell Globemedia . This deal was in play before the CHUM takeover was announced. There's a small chance that the CRTC might require a benefits package for this change. (Probably not, as all the parties are arguing that no real change of ownership took place, just everybody shuffling their percentages) If that happens, the fund could be even bigger.

So then, what gets done with it?

The BCE Benefits package did a lot of good over the years it was in place. It allowed CTV to create a "Writer's Only" development stream, which, though flawed -- was an interesting initiative that could really be effective if it was run a bit differently. It paid for some education, through bequests to the Canadian Film Centre and the University where I taught, Ryerson University.

But now we're at a crucial time in TV's future, and it may be time for BGM to think outside the box in how to administer this fund.

In the last year, we've gone from a world where downloading TV shows was illegal to where it was sanctioned by the networks and prodcos themselves. They're even taking a cut. ON DEMAND channels on Cable increase value for properties like HBO or TMN. I've repeated the same scene about five times with friends when they come to my house: they see the ON DEMAND channel for TMN, see all the movies that they can get anytime they want every month, along with all those HBO series and stuff, and they go home and subscribe. Why not? The price point finally makes sense: people want to watch what they want to watch when they want to watch it.

So that's where the audience is going. The problem with the Canadian Networks, of course, is that their entire business model is based on making money off US tv shows they buy cheaply at the L.A. screenings, simulcast, and piggyback on US promo. Their Canadian product, with notable exceptions, is done grudgingly and dumped on the air as the cost of doing business.

But not anymore.

Because they're not going to get sold the rights to stream or download LOST, or THE OFFICE, or 24. If they want to get in that game, they have to start developing their own buzzworthy product.

So. Cancon becomes important. At the same time a whole new pile of money becomes available.

Hmm.

Pilots?
Different ways of commissioning shows?
Development funds allocated to Prodcos who've produced past hits?
Seed funds?
A beefed-up Writer-Only fund?
A "showrunner" class/academy?

There are all sorts of different ways BGM could spend this money that could break the cycle of mediocrity and usher in a new era for Canadian TV. Maybe, it might even encourage a few Canadians who flee to the USA because they don't want to deal with the bullshit here-- well, maybe a few of them will stay.

And maybe the programs will be better.

Which could benefit the viewer, and the writer, and the actor, and the network, and the industry, and the culture.

Just saying.

UPDATE: The CRTC approved the ownership change of BGM and agreed it was a transfer of control rather than a change, so no new benefits package. Oh well.

The CHUM sale will definitely be subject to the 10% benefits requirement, tho.

Cue The Lake

Well, I'm still knackered. But I'm fixing to fix that. Gonna disappear to a cottage for a few days. So in the great tradition of TV, here's a few reruns for you:

Are you a writer in Canada? Do you suck?

Why I never smote a note.

And just becasue it still gets linked to: Why "The Room" is Like Vegas.

Have fun, don't get too hot, and see ya in a few days.

"You Don't Mind if We Kill You, Do You?"

Well. 5:23 p.m. Sunday. It's almost as hot outside as it is inside my Macbook Pro.

That's not a good sign.

But for the moment, at least, I am two-scripts-in-a-week finito. Let the wheels start turning.

Lot of sleep needed plus tonight I get to see my one and only going to the Fringe show of 2006. The Catering Queen, at the Tarragon. Any Torontonians, I'll be the tall, broad one with the slack jawed yokel look.

Today's NYTimes has a great profile of Mr. Law-and-Order Dick Wolf. Every article I read, he sounds like a real prick. But the kind of prick I really, really appreciate.

The Weekend Round Up: Where Jack Is a Very Dull Boy

Well, I've been pretty much working about 10 hours a day since I returned from NYC. Before that, I was churning out a first draft for a week or so. So by my count, by the time Monday rolls around, I will have written or rewritten about 160 or so pages over the last 2-3 weeks. That tends to knacker one out.

I have a final stretch to do to get the scripts in, then there's the pause that refreshses, before production and notes start dictating rewrites. I've spent so much time in my condo for the last 10 days or so that I'm starting to feel like the Phantom of the Condo.

So I'm doing the kind of thing that I've always wanted to do. Work necessistates that I spend the weekend writing, missing yet more of what really seems like a lovely Toronto summer. But it doesn't say where I've got to do the writing. And yeah, you gotta eat. But that doesn't mean you gotta cook.

Screw it.

I'm checking into a hotel for the next two days. I'm going to write til I can't, then enjoy the scenery and the accoutrements. I will not be doing an Aaron Sorkin writing The American President, but I'm hoping it will be fun and make work more manageable.

Whatever gets you true, right?

Anyway, with that being said, the TV biz is in the midst of the TCA critics tour down in L.A. Lots of news out there, some of it interesting.

HBO Prez defended "that scene" in Rescue Me at the HBO session. (note to Canadians, spoilers for the third season which starts airing on Showcase Aug 29.) He also revealed that, due to Jimmy Gandolfini's knee surgery, the final 8 Sopranos won't come til March. But the 2nd -- and final -- season of Rome debuts Jan. 7.

I also haven't written about Brotherhood, whose first ep aired last week on Showtime in the USA and TMN in Eastern Canada. I loved it. I love it where you don't have to explain everything. I love when things are hinted at in TV and not spelled out. I love stories about two brothers. I think this show is going to be a new fave for me. I mention it now because the pilot is going to be replayed on CBS tomorrow night, Saturday, at 10pm. Way to drum up business for the pay channels. Sneaky, sneaky.

I just clicked over to the Futon Critic for other TCA (Television Critics Association) news and the sheer volume of stories there spiked my procrasto-meter. I don't have the time to read any of that stuff right now, but feel free to talk about whatever you read in the comments below. I'll weigh in when the monkey's off my back.

"Hello? Room service?"

Dick Cavett: Comic Legends

I'm not old enough to remember Dick Cavett when he was on the air. I mean, I kind of remember him from my childhood, but I was a toddler when his various shows were on ABC.

But thanks to Zip.Ca, I've been dipping into the compilation of "Comic Legends" DVD's they put out last year. I've been through two discs already, and they're mighty revelatory, especially if you presided over the shrinking of the TV talk show through the 80's and 90's.

I think once before I remarked on how weird it was to see an interview with Paddy Chayefsky about Network on the Dinah Shore Show. Weird because it was a) a screenwriter on tv and b) actually a rambling, interesting conversation about ideas, and not the setup-punchline-plug Kabuki that passes for "couch interviews" today. (Even Jon Stewart, in the quest to get laughs, ploughs through his interviews.)

But the Comic Legends series is something different. They're actually a chance to see kind of a master class, and learn about the craft.

The first disc featured two appearances by Groucho Marx -- this is just before he started going downhill. It's an amazing interview, really a time capsule from another time. He talks about trouble at the Democratic convention at one point, and you realize, right, this is from 1969 -- that convention was last year.

Marx's stories about Margaret Dumont and his brothers and how they approached things are just priceless. Then there's a show featuring Woody Allen. The show with Bob Hope is remarkable not just for its length, but for the fact that Hope actually speaks very seriously; it pretty much could stand as one of the definitive autobiographical documents of his life.

But the next disc, again featuring Woody Allen, from right around the time of the release of Bananas, is the truly enlightening one. It's fun, too. He plays jazz clarinet with the band, which is the only time I've seen him do that on TV.

It's startling to see the young Woody -- especially in a context you haven't seen him in before. I guess I've internalized his film performances so much by now that they're retina-burned. But to see him on the couch there talking to a guy who is genuinely his friend, swapping in jokes about coming up as joke writers, is thrilling to see.

Also, Allen explains his dilemna about wanting to do serious things but having no one take him seriously. There it is, the thing that's going to dog him the rest of his life. He talks about the precision and the joy he gets from writing prose. Cavett and Allen talk about their neuroses with women, and how that fuels them. Allen discusses how he tries not to watch comedies, because he's a believer in not being influenced, and then goes on to dissect the nature of his comedy.

The conversation is meandering and never less than amusing. Seventy-five full minutes. I haven't watched the Bill Cosby interview, but I'm sure it's similar stuff.

If you're a student of comic writing, it's well worth renting.

Wow.

I picked a pretty good week to not pay attention to the news.

Canadian Merger Mania hits CHUM

Well -- this is not really surprising. The Globe and Mail and 680 News are reporting that CHUM limited, the parent company of Citytv, Muchmusic, Space, Star, Bravo! and the A-Channels, is going to be sold to Bell GlobeMedia, the corporate parent of CTV, TSN, oh...and MTV Canada. (That should be interesting, considering Muchmusic...)

The last time a big merger like this happened, they created a huge fund for new programming. (The CRTC extracts that pound of flesh for the privilege of consolidation.) So it may be good news for creatives. Or it may be bad news. Or both. Ultimately, it's too soon to tell.

Oh. Oh Dear.

One of my good friends, R.S., is a very talented writer currently working on Corner Gas.

And one day I may forgive him for sending me this:




Wash your eyes out after. The burning, left untreated, could scar.

I Am A Bad Man

Which is why this photo makes me happy. Oh so happy. Id: 1 Better Angels: 0
Sorry, Abe.

Meetings With Stakeholders

This is a phrase you hear a lot about in Canadian Broadcasting. You hear it when discussing the CRTC, and a review that's being done here or there. You hear it when talking about the Canadian Television Fund or Telefilm.

What's significant to me, and always has been, is exactly who those stakeholders are. And who they're not. The Academy of Canadian Cinema and Television is non-political. They don't take stands on things, mostly. They just sponsor the Gemini and Genie awards. Things like that.

The private broadcasters in Canada have something called The Canadian Association of Broadcasters. They lobby on the Broadcasters' behalf. Usually for things like, oh, we want to ease restrictions on foreign ownership, or sell more ads, or not have to do so much for our licenses.

Producers in Canada have the Canadian Film and Television Production Association. They negotiate with representatives of the Directors Guild of Canada, Writers Guild of Canada, and ACTRA, the performers' union, on labor issues.

There used to be a Canadian Cable Television Association. But I think it disbanded. Richard Stursberg used to run that too. Before he bounced to Telefilm, then the CBC.

There are Friends of Canadian Broadcasting and Our Public Airwaves, who mostly complain about the CBC.

Stakeholders, stakeholders, stakeholders.

The problem with the whole stakeholders thing is that the biggest stakeholders in all of this mess are the ones who really are never consulted.

They're called The Audience.

The problem with not consulting the audience is that you start to have people speaking for the audience, which runs into all sorts of problems. You have squeaky wheels saying they're the audience.

Justin, who's a hardworking guy I know and like and have met on several occasions, posted this below in an ongoing thread about Canadian TV. Basically, his contention is that shows Like Canadian Idol are not Canadian shows...just ripoffs of American shows. Justin's speaking for a point of view that would like to keep the CBC "pure."

I don't consider the Office an American show, it's a cheap rip off and not done very well.

Elitist or not Steve Martin isn't the pink panther and I don't consider Canadian Idol, Canada's next top model or 'the One' to be Canadian shows regardless of where they are made.

Now this is, in actuality, a pretty radical view. I mean, most critics have come around on The Office, and I know a lot of people love these kinds of Reality shows. I don't watch any of the Idols, If I watch The One at all it'll be to see how George does. (On the other hand, flipping around last night I caught fifteen minutes of "Hell's Kitchen" for the first time, and I howled. My God that man is entertaining.)

Now, Justin's engaging in a fine old tradition of stating a taste that's contrary to the mainstream. We all do this. People who hate Pop Tarts talk about Radiohead like everyone should listen to Radiohead. Jazzbos sniff at rockists. Classical music fans look down on all of us.

The problem is, in Canada, the only "audience" view that ever gets through is the skewed, likely-to-write-a-letter-to-the-CRTC-or-Globe kind. Essentially, Private TV in Canada has been allowed to just chase eyeballs using cheaply purchased (because we're an ancillary market) U.S. shows, and Public TV is being fought over by a small, elitist group that doesn't really represent the audience at large. That's a big problem.

Now -- here's another view from the audience, direct from a meeting of a lot of the stakeholders. This might be the most devestating thing I've read about Canadian Television all year.

Now that I'm motivated to at least be aware of what's out there in Canadian television so that I'm not overlooking programs I might enjoy and programs that might reflect stories I wouldn't otherwise see, I find that Canadian television does not seem to see me as its future.

At the Banff festival, I attended a town hall session on the future of Canadian TV with representatives from funders, regulators, content producers, and broadcasters, talking to an audience of the same. Now I think I understand another layer of the invisible networks problem. Listening to executives talk about my own country's product, I felt completely invisible. The discussion was focused on everything but the Canadian television viewer.

I'm not necessarily the typical viewer. At this point, I'm probably more motivated than average to seek out Canadian programming. Unfortunately, the reason for my recent motivation is not a reproducible marketing strategy: I got addicted to the blog of a Canadian television writer who's insightful, passionate, and funny about a wide range of subjects, but particularly the industry he works in. And he kept talking about shows I'd never heard of, like Jeff Ltd., Billable Hours and The Jane Show.

I started to be conscious of the fact that all these Canadian shows were appearing without a blip on my radar and wondered why. Was I just not paying attention? Or was the industry not paying attention to me?

Now -- Diane, of course, is a friend of this blog. I've plugged her site a lot, and even interviewed her about her viewing habits, in an attempt to try and formulate what exactly we are all doing wrong here in this great big country that's not the United States but might as well be for all the homegrown culture that is not on our airwaves. So yeah, she's not exactly the average viewer. But I'm going to guess that there are actually way more Dianes out there than there are Justins. (And I'm not picking on Justin. He and I agree about things -- including TV -- more than we disagree. The difference is as a working writer, I recognize that the health of my industry depends on having things out there that do not appeal to my personal taste, and where my personal taste conflicts with something that's good for the health of the industry, I swallow my bile and move on.)

There are Dianes out there who sold out the Bloor Cinema in January of 2005 to meet the Trailer Park Boys. There are Dianes who did grow up watching Degrassi, and there are Dianes or Daves or Stews who were the ones who caught the CBC flatfooted when they almost got rid of Ron McLean from Hockey Night in Canada a couple years back. The CBC was surprised by the reaction. Why? They don't know what the audience really cares about -- because they never talk to those people.

The reason why the Dianes aren't being listened to? I think it has to do with the defeatist meme that's rife in the industry: "Canadians don't want to watch Canadian shows."

That's an article of defeatist faith among a lot of "stakeholders" in this country. I have an alternate theory. "Most of the shows we've done thus far simply aren't good enough to hold an audience."

I've seen numbers. Lots of Canadian shows premiere big. People tune in because they're curious. And then they go away. If, as Diane suggests, the audience is invisible, that's only because it's actually easier to blame the audience for not watching, than it is to look inward and ask if the product is really good enough.

So if you're going to Meet with Stakeholders, pretty please guys, can you try to get a few more Dianes in the mix? Cause right now, the Diane's aren't feeling the love:

Listening to executives fretting about international markets felt a little insulting. What about me? Wouldn't they like to make a TV show I might want to watch and then let me know about it so I can watch it? I heard "let's protect Canadian content in the scary new world of the unregulated Internet, but let's not make it too Canadian or we can't sell it."

I heard it suggested that successful shows like Corner Gas and Trailer Park Boys might be too Canadian for international markets, despite the fact that the former had just signed a US distributor, and the latter is broadcast on BBC America. Not to mention the apparently unimportant fact that Canadians like to watch them, too.

I had to wonder if, in their hunger for the secondary markets of the future, they'd forgotten their primary audience of the future, an audience that in the past made shows like Degrassi, Slings & Arrows, and DaVinci's Inquest successful within our borders before they were embraced outside them.

The future of Canadian television also seems to overlook the primary product in the zeal to create secondary products. The suits talked about how to entice viewers through means other than television – that is, how to use new technologies and media to drive people to programming and vice versa. They talked about audiovisual content on the web, cell phone videos, and the need to train and support more Canadian artists to produce this new multi-platform content.

..

The Banff panel threw around the word "quality" a lot: "We have to make a quality product." But I didn't hear how the Canadian television industry plans to meet that goal of creating more quality shows, strategies to overcome barriers to making quality shows, or what happens when a quality show falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it.

Diane's full article on the Invisible Canadian Audience can be found here.

Note to Pinheads

I'm tired. I'm cranky. Some people are dumb. Note to dumb people:

Guess that bullshit about The One sounds pretty stupid now, hey, mofos? That's right. Your boy -- YOUR BOY -- is the one fronting the brand. CBC haytas, you can bitch all you want about firing all the publicists, and hiring nothing but new layers of management (because clearly that will fix anything) but this particular development is nothing but good for the CBC.

Unless, you know, they fumble the Strombo. Good for George. Let's see how fast CBC screws things up and loses him.

First bet?...they'll do something moronic like not tapping him to host the Canadian version.

Then there's this.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you're aiming a show at kids, you put together a website. And not a bullshit website. Honest to god. Spend money. Return calls. Keep sites up to date. PROMOTE YOUR SHIT.

Crazy One Eyed Dolphins, Mad Cows, and Whale Heaven, Oh My!

It's a rainy day here in Toronto. I've got a Gemini jury for a couple of hours this afternoon. I'm giving notes on one script, taking notes on another, and revising a third -- all of which swirls and kicks and has to be done magically by Friday. And the weird thing is: I know it will be. Just the way it goes.

But just because I can't blog my heart away for too long, doesn't mean that you guys should be shortchanged. So maybe it's time to hand it over to the next generation of storytellers.

Salon's Video Dog site is always a great place for interesting, curated videos, but rarely does a clip tickle my fancy like this one, animated by Ian Stewart.

Go watch Crazy Dolphins vs. The Mad Cows. For an extra-special bonus, pay attention to the voice of the third kid. That's pretty much how I sounded when I was nine. Awesome.

Look Up in the Skyland. Wait. It's gone.

Promoting Canadian TV is even harder than Diane thinks. By accident yesterday, post World Cup head-buttie and post-dinner woozy, I happened to come across a show that I'd written that was airing for the first time.

Skyland is a Canada-UK-France co-pro. I wrote three scripts for this last year, and the first of mine, "King For a Day" came up yesterday. I tried to find airdates for this a few weeks ago, but beyond the first few eps and a repeat, they had no listings, even on Wikipedia.

Here lieth the Canadian TV problem.

Anyway, it's always strange to just stumble upon your work on TV. It's equally strange to think that something that people worked so hard on spills onto the air without fanfare.

In the end, I recognized quite a bit of my script - though not all of it. I chuckled at some of the things that had been softened because of notes, and I had to admit that the strange lifelessness of that CG mo-cap look nevertheless does not diminish the beauty of the show's look. It's beautiful looking, that is for sure. Simplifying the MacGuffin in the episode kind of worked. I guess. And miracle of miracles, even one or two of the jokes I put in there made it through story editing (when you're dealing with international co-pros, the jokes never make it through.)

Anyway, it was a fun show to work on, and all the people involved with the Canadian side of the production that I met were extremely professional and wicked nice.

If I was a 10 year old kid I'd think Skyland was a really cool show. I mean, I loved Battle of the Planets when I was 10, and that show made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Still. Zoltar rules.

Skyland airs in Canada on Teletoon, weekends at 7:30 p.m. In the USA it can be seen on Nicktoons.

"Spreading Democracy"

This has been one of the USA's stated goals for a long time now. It goes back to the Monroe Doctrine, really, this quaint notion that somehow we had gotten something right in the governance of men (and women) and that it was our responsibility to set an example. To be the city on the hill that others look towards.

Sadly, in the last few decades we really took it on the chin in that department. We've toppled elected governments, as in Chile, we've supported oppressive regimes that we then turn around and spend money fighting. We've lost the moral suasion we had with European partners to influence things for good, in favor of unilateral and disastrous military action in Iraq.

And then there's this:

July 8, 2006 | MEXICO CITY -- "Ciberfraude," or cyberfraud, is not a word in the average Mexican's vocabulary. But most Mexicans have heard of the extraordinary electoral debacle that befell their neighbors to the north in 2000, and Martí Batres, the head of the Democratic Revolutionary Party's Mexico City chapter, was going to capitalize on that knowledge. At a press conference Friday afternoon at PRD headquarters, the close advisor to Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, the leftist politician who lost an exceedingly close election here this week, nodded to an aide to turn on his laptop. "And now I'm going to show you a video," he told the roomful of reporters.

The lights went out, and on a pull-down screen, computer programmer Clinton Curtis explained in English to an American audience how he had allegedly been hired by Tom Feeney, speaker of Florida's House of Representatives and a Republican, to create a computer code that fixed that state's vote in favor of George W. Bush six years ago. Batres, or someone on YouTube, had added Spanish subtitles to the 3 and a half minute clip. "This video shows that cyberfraud is possible," Batres insisted when the lights came up. "There may have been a source code used to manipulate our elections just as with the Florida elections in 2000."

There it is. We've now become the ammo in an emerging democracy's doubt in their own system.

The partisanship of Electoral officials with ties to the ruling party, vote machines without paper trails, lineups in minority districts, the inanity of the Electoral College -- all of it is damaging the very NOTION of democracy that the USA was supposed to represent.

To me, admittedly, an internationalist -- there is no sadder example of how far the esteem of America has fallen than the above. We're now the go-to example of how to steal elections, not conduct them.

That's sad. The founding fathers would not be pleased.

Canadian TV all in one place!

Well, this is an interesting and positive development. Although typically, it's a grass roots thing.

Vancouver BlogCritic and Blogger Diane Kristine (Unified Theory of Nothing Much) has moved beyond HOUSE to home: specifically that brand of Television that she hasn't really checked out too much in the past: the homegrown, Canadian kind.

One of these days, I'll get back to my prescription for how to raise awareness for homegrown tv, based on the conversation I had with Diane a few weeks back. But one of my remedies was going to be something very much like what Diane has already set up:

I had an interesting exchange last week on my Invisible Networks post with a couple of people, one who admonished - me? the other commenters? - to give Canadian TV time to grow, and offered to help line up an interview I'd tried to get about The Jane Show. The other made this challenge:
A website promoting Canadian Television! Well...you've identified something that we need, and it seems to bother you that there is no such thing....Why not be the one to create it?!
He/she basically said stop whining, or be part of the solution. My attempt to get an interview about The Jane Show was part of trying to be part of the solution, but is now part of my frustration. Besides, how is it my role to publicize the industry, especially if they won't help?

There's so much funny and sad in that post. Identify a need: a website promoting Canadian TV. Anonymous person says, "you do it!" and polite Canadian says, "I'd like to, but so far I've tried to get one interview with a Canadian show and they've ignored me." It is, as they say, to cry.

Canadian TV frequently suffers from a lack of promotion. Some of it is sheer incompetence -- publicists who don't have the right materials or who aren't very good. Some of it is budget driven -- not enough money for ads, etc. And it's hard to establish an audience for a show that keeps moving around the schedule to take advantage of more valuable simulcasting opportunties.

What Diane has started, in a relatively lo-fi and pretty way, is a clearinghouse for info about Canadian shows, where they are, and when they're on. It's called Canadian TV, and it's here.

If unit and network publicists ever wake up to this, this could be a great development for promoting Canadian TV as a brand, and not just an afterthought. Diane does great interviews, too -- so creatives from these Canadian shows should get in touch with her. (One of the problems you're going to face, Diane, is that short ep runs mean that by the time the show gets close to air the people are long onto their next project.) Daddy's gotta eat.

Diane should be commended for taking a stab at this. And you know what? If there's anyone else out there who's interested in Canadian TV, but not embroiled working in it yet -- I'd suggest dropping Diane a line and asking how you can help.

Now, industry -- go and give her content that creates buzz. Go on. Kick in that self-preservation instinct.

The Meaning of "Got Your Back"

I've written about this a couple of times before, but the story doesn't seem to go away. And to be honest with you, the more I think about it, the more it kind of upsets me, and the more I come to a sad conclusion:

If you're Canadian, and you want to tell a Canadian story based on Canadian events, the one place you should be pitching first, is the one place you can't.

The CBC.

Earlier this year, the CBC ran a biopic on the life of Tommy Douglas, one of the founding members of the CCF Party...God. I can't write this again. Here...this is from the Wikipedia entry.

As leader of the Saskatchewan Co-operative Commonwealth Federation (CCF) from 1942 and the seventh Premier of Saskatchewan from 1944 to 1961 , he led the first socialist government in North America and introduced universal public medicare to Canada. When the CCF united with the Canadian Labour Congress to form the New Democratic Party, he was elected as its first federal leader and served in that post from 1961 to 1971. He is warmly remembered for his folksy wit and oratory with which he expressed his steadfast idealism, exemplified by his fable of Mouseland.
He was the father of actress Shirley Douglas, and the grandfather of actor Kiefer Sutherland.
In 2004, he was voted "The Greatest Canadian" of all time in a nationally televised contest organized by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. The miniseries Prairie Giant: The Tommy Douglas Story, was filmed between February and May of 2005 and aired on CBC in two parts on March 12 and 13, 2006.

Now, Medicare is still something that's controversial in Canada, believe it or not. At least in some circles. What happened after the movie aired is the truly interesting, and scandalous part.

The short version is this: Relatives of Jimmy Gardiner, a predecessor of Douglas', objected to the portrayal of the politician in the film. Remember, this is a film that was developed, researched and vetted all the way along by the CBC. They complained. The CBC hired an independent historian to vet the film. He said it was innacurate. CBC pulled the film from circulation, and canceled the DVD release.

If you're thinking, "did a step get missed in there?" You're right.

Because at no point, before taking these actions, did the CBC ever talk to the screenwriter, or the director, and give them a chance to defend their film. They were ready to defend it. But they were never asked. In fact, they found out that the film was being pulled by watching television.

So now these creative people are tarred with this brush of accusation, and the CBC is left cowering in the corner, terrified of offending anyone.

They didn't back up their people. Surprise, surprise. The spirit of the Lockout lives on.

The issues of historical innacuracy, or fictionalizing historical movies, is something that rears its ugly head all the time. CBS pulled a biopic of The Reagans a few years back, and shunted it to a cable net. Now, at the time, the focus (I think, rightly) was the fact that the program trotted out lots of tabloid stuff about astrology and whatnot. It was by no means an important piece of work. But CBS managed to frame the discussion for what it was: largely a business decision.

What the CBC has done is not anything close to that. The disputed bits: that so and so took a drink in public instead of in private -- are inane in the context of the historical drama. But that's neither here nor there.

The point is that the CBC hung the writer and the director -- everybody involved with the production of this show -- out to dry, just as they did years ago with The Valour and the Horror.

This is a shameful, craven action. You know, a lot of the people who criticize the CBC want it to morph into something more like a PBS North. But PBS has a lot more integrity on this score. PBS -- especially shows like Frontline -- have no compunctions about running hard hitting programs that pull no punches and speak truth to power.

CBC is in the midst of trying to say to writers, directors, and creatives, "The bad old days are gone, come work with us."

Well, actions speak louder than words. I agree with this anonymous, frustrated CBC manager... they owe the creators of this fine movie an apology. They couldn't have handled this worse if they'd tried.

See what happens when you fire all your publicists?

EmmyShmemmy

So. They're out. The nominations that I found interesting:

Comedy Series: Tough call between the beloved but gone, Arrested, and still has a future, The Office. Like the President, though, I'm all about The Future.

I honestly can't say I'd be unhappy if any of the Best Drama Series nominees got it, but I'd probably lean toward House. Interesting that Lost didn't make the cut, but The West Wing did. Way to be bold!

I'm really happy that South Park got nominated for the Tom Cruise episode. Hail Xenu!

Good (and by good, I mean, not scandalous) that Steve Carell got a Lead Actor comedy nom for The Office. But then again, there's Charlie Sheen...

I don't like the show, but it's a bit of a drag that Lauren Graham, who everyone knows is great, didn't get a nom for Gilmore Girls. Thank God they preserved that Debra Messing nom.

Lead Actress, Drama: Kyra Sedgwick's nomination for The Closer -- a series I've just started watching on DVD, is a great one. Though how anyone could best the great Frances Conroy is beyond me. Mariska whatshername will probably win, though. And then there's Allison Janney and Geena Davis. Sigh.

Lead Actor, Drama: Christopher Meloni? Really? I mean, is that show even still on? I'm guessing you don't want to get too close to Diane right now...but Hugh Laurie really was robbed. Nice to see a namesake in there, but considering Martin Sheen carried less of the West Wing in his final year than ever before, it's a dopey nom. A strange category.

Supporting Actor, Comedy. I feel very conflicted in this. Will Arnett for Arrested never fails to make me laugh, but how can you possibly win over the juggernaut that comes wrapped in a giant, "Hug it out, bitch:" Jeremy Piven? Also...Sean Hayes from Will and Gr...snorrrre.

Supporting Actor, Drama. This category's a bitch. How do you vote against the slime that is Gregory Itzin's President Logan? Well, maybe you throw Shatner, Alda, and MY MAN OLIVER PLATT in there, too. Wow, look, kids, the cliche has teeth: Michael Imperioli, it really IS just an honor to be nominated.

Supporting Actress, Comedy. Megan Mullally will take it, of course, which is a shame since Elizabeth Perkins in Weeds was sublime.

Supporting Actress, Drama. Shouldn't they just FedEx the statuette to Sandra Oh now?

And because it's the bread on which this blog is buttered..the full writing noms:

Outstanding Writing For Nonfiction Programming
American Masters • Ernest Hemingway: Rivers To The
Sea • PBS • Thirteen/WNET New York and Maha Films
DeWitt Sage, Written by
American Masters • John Ford/John Wayne: The
Filmmaker And The Legend • PBS • Thirteen/WNET New
York
Ken Bowser, Written by
How William Shatner Changed The World • The History
Channel • Handel Productions in co-production with The
History Channel, Discovery Canada, Discovery
Communications International, Arte and Channel 5 UK
Alan Handel, Writer
Julian Jones, Writer
Penn & Teller: Bullshit • Prostitution • Showtime •
Showtime Presents in association with Penn & Teller, A
Division of Buggs and Rudy Discount Corporation, Star
Price Productions, The Wolper Organization
Penn Jillette, Written by
Teller, Written by
Cliff Schoenberg, Written by
Jon Hotchkiss, Written by
Michael Goudeau, Written by
Star Price, Written by
Stardust: The Bette Davis Story • TCM • Peter Jones
Productions for Turner Classic Movies & Turner
Entertainment Co.
Peter Jones, Writer


Is it proof that I'm old that I saw at least part of every one of these? Penn & Teller always make me laugh, but it's hard to go up against American Masters.


Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series
Arrested Development • Development Arrested • FOX •
Imagine Television and The Hurwitz Company in
association with 20th Century Fox Television
Chuck Tatham, Teleplay by
Jim Vallely, Teleplay by
Richard Day, Story by
Mitchell Hurwitz, Story by
Entourage • Exodus • HBO • Leverage and Closest to the
Hole Productions in association with HBO Entertainment
Doug Ellin, Written by
Extras • Kate Winslet • HBO • BBC and HBO
Entertainment
Ricky Gervais, Written by
Stephen Merchant, Written by
My Name Is Earl • Pilot • NBC • An Amigos de Garcia
production in association with 20th Century Fox
Television
Greg Garcia, Written by
The Office • Christmas Party • NBC • Deedle Dee
Productions, Reveille, LLC in association with NBC
Universal Television Studios
Michael Schur, Written by

Tough call. Sentimental, you gotta go with Arrested. But Earl's pilot was so admirable and fresh, the Christmas Party Office was hilarious, and the Kate Winslet Extras actually made me scream laughing.

Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series
Grey’s Anatomy • It’s the End Of The World, As We Know
It (Part 1 & 2) • ABC • Touchstone Television
Shonda Rhimes, Written by
Grey’s Anatomy • Into You Like A Train • ABC •
Touchstone Television
Krista Vernoff, Written by
Lost • The 23rd Psalm • ABC • Grass Skirt Productions,
LLC in association with Touchstone Television
Carlton Cuse, Written by
Damon Lindelof, Written by
Six Feet Under • Everyone’s Waiting • HBO • Actual Size
and the Greenblatt/Janollari Studios in association with
HBO Entertainment
Alan Ball, Written by
The Sopranos • Members Only • HBO • Chase Films and
Brad Grey Television in association with HBO
Entertainment
Terence Winter, Written by

Sorry guys. You gotta go Six Feet, if only for the last five minutes and the line, "You can't take a picture of this, it's already gone."

Outstanding Writing For A Variety, Music Or
Comedy Program
The Colbert Report • Comedy Central • Central
Productions with Busboy Productions and Spartina
Productions
Allison Silverman, Head Writer
Rich Dahm, Head Writer
Stephen Colbert, Writer
Peter Gwinn, Writer
Laura Krafft, Writer
Michael Brumm, Writer
Rob Dubbin, Writer
Eric Drysdale, Writer
Jay Katsir, Writer
Frank Lesser, Writer
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart • Comedy Central •
Central Productions LLC and Hello Doggie, Inc.
David Javerbaum, Head Writer
Rachel Axler, Writer
Kevin Bleyer, Writer
Rich Blomquist, Writer
Steve Bodow, Writer
Tim Carvell, Writer
Stephen Colbert, Writer
Eric Drysdale, Writer
J.R. Havlan, Writer
Scott Jacobson, Writer
Ben Karlin, Writer
Rob Kutner, Writer
Sam Means, Writer
Chris Regan, Writer
Jason Reich, Writer
Jason Ross, Writer
Jon Stewart, Writer
Late Night With Conan O’Brien • NBC • Broadway Video,
NBC Studios, Conaco
Mike Sweeney, Head Writer
Chris Albers, Writer
Jose Arroyo, Writer
Dan Cronin, Writer
Kevin Dorff, Writer
Daniel J. Goor, Writer
Michael Gordon, Writer
Tim Harrod, Writer
Berkley Johnson, Writer
Brian Kiley, Writer
Michael Koman, Writer
Brian McCann, Writer
Guy Nicolucci, Writer
Conan O’Brien, Writer
Brian Stack, Writer
Andrew Weinberg, Writer
Late Show With David Letterman • CBS • Worldwide Pants
Incorporated
Eric Stangel, Head Writer
Justin Stangel, Head Writer
Michael Barrie, Writer
Jim Mulholland, Writer
Steve Young, Writer
Tom Ruprecht, Writer
Lee Ellenberg, Writer
Matt Roberts, Writer
Jeremy Weiner, Writer
Joe Grossman, Writer
Meredith Scardino, Writer
Bill Scheft, Writer
Frank Sebastiano, Writer
Sam Saltz, Writer
David Letterman, Writer
Real Time With Bill Maher • HBO • Kid Love Productions
and Brad Grey Television in association with HBO
Entertainment
Ross Abrash, Writer
David Feldman, Writer
Matt Gunn, Writer
Brian Jacobsmeyer, Writer
Jay Jaroch, Writer
Chris Kelly, Writer
Bill Maher, Writer
Billy Martin, Head Writer
Danny Vermont, Writer
Scott Carter, Writer

Uh, once again, CBC, you know that whole make George's The Hour more of a late night talk show?

Read. Those. Freaking. Names.

Outstanding Writing For A Miniseries, Movie Or
A Dramatic Special
Bleak House (Masterpiece Theatre) • PBS • A BBC
WGBH-Boston Co-production in association with Deep
Indigo
Andrew Davies, Screenplay by
Elizabeth I • HBO • Company Pictures and Channel 4 in
association with HBO Films
Nigel Williams, Written by
Flight 93 • A&E • A David Gerber Company Production in
association with A&E Network and Fox Television Studios
Nevin Schreiner, Written by
The Girl In The Café • HBO • Tightrope Pictures and BBC
Wales in association with HBO Films
Richard Curtis, Written by
• HBO • Killer Films and Number 9 Films and
John Wells Productions in association with HBO Films
Phyllis Nagy, Written by

I really enjoyed The Girl in the Cafe the most. Kelly MacDonald. Rowwr!

I Love the Smell of Re-Writes in the Morning

Okay, here it is:

Writing at night is bullshit.

I know that a lot of you guys do it. Hell, once upon a time I did it. But I'm here today to repudiate the practice.

For family reasons, and reasons of just general interest, I've always been interested in research about the brain. I think that just about everything we've really learned about the brain we've learned in the last decade or so, since the advent of the MRI and CATscans became common. And what they're finding is that the night is just...different. Your brain is different at night.

This was a hard thing for me to admit. When I was in my early 20's I was a big believer in the romance of pulling an all nighter to get something done. I think I wrote every one of my University essays that way. I was also, famously, an inveterate up-to-the-wire last minute procrastinator. I was the guy who turned the essay in on Monday at 7:59 a.m. because it was due on Friday, but you'd heard from your buddy that the woman in the office hadn't stamped stuff when she left on Friday...

When I was doing sketch comedy, writing at night was like writing drunk. It was awesome fun! Everything was funny, and your creativity flowed free, man... but I was kidding myself. I was so hopped on adrenalin and being young that I mistook that early flower of being in love with writing to be the feeling that I would always get. It wasn't.

And so began the transition.

I am not a morning person. There are no morning people in my family, other than my father, who doesn't count because he takes two hour naps every afternoon. Must be nice, Dad.

My family gets dragged out of bed. When I was a kid, I made sure to ask my mother to sign permission slips or if I could do this or that first thing in the morning, because let's face it, she's a mess before about 10:30.

I have had whole conversations with my little sister that she recalls completely differently years later, and my theory is that she was slipping in and out of alpha state because it was morning when we had them.

Mornings. Feh.

Except...

There's coffee. And there's that great, grand, shining sun. And the hours stretch before you filled with portent and possibilty. The world looks different in the morning.

We live in difficult times. People seem to have trouble telling the truth -- they even seem to have trouble recognizing the truth, it seems. The night, for me, has never been about truth. The night is about regret and secrecy and passion, and longing and recrimination and rumination. But not truth. Truth is best observed and channeled in the morning's light. And truth is essential to what we do.

I can't write drunk either, anymore. No big loss, that. Though, yes, I know, Looking for Mr. Goodbar was written that way. But I'm going to go ahead and guess if you're one of those "I write at night people," you're probably 21 and drink and don't get hangovers and you've never even heard of "Looking for Mr. Goodbar."

Now there are some people who are locked into writing at night. I know. You may have a job that requires you to work days. You may have shift work. You might have kids. I know. I'm not talking about you. You do what you have to do with your personal situation to write your way out. Writing your way out means trying to treat the craft as respectfully and professionally as you can until such time as it becomes the primary way you make your money.

Does anyone recognize how similar that last sentence is to the sentiment, "fake it til you make it?"

Same thing. You have to be a professional writer long before you become a professional writer. Paradox. Deal.

When I decided to go full-time in my writing, I had a couple of advantages. I was writing a documentary soap show that gave me one script a week that didn't take very long to do, and that was enough for me to live on, for at least part of the year. I also quit a full time job, yes, but I went to school for four months, so I had a transition between work and writing.

But when that program was over, one thought came to me above all others, and it was this:

The day I'm not up and working by nine a.m. it is all over.

And I've mostly kept to that. I can say with genuine confidence that in the five years since, I've missed that Monday-Friday nine a.m. start maybe twenty times. A couple of times it was cause of a late night. A couple of times I was sick. I usually wind up working on the weekend when I don't think I accomplish enough during the week anyway. But why? Why try to emulate that workaday schedule when you don't have to?

I've thought a lot about that over the years. I think part of it has to do with trying to establish normality. People who go to work, most of em, go from 9 to 5. If I can do that, I have limits same as other people. It makes me connected to the world at large, not out on my own as much. It also gives you a built-in time to stop. It makes it easier to make plans with friends who have real jobs.

But it also maximizes those morning hours. And here's the secret, the real reason why I don't write at night anymore: if I'm going to write in the morning, I need all the churning, flipping, funking and random disconnected thought that occupies me at night to just sit there and perk. perk. perk. I don't write at night because I need the night to do something else.

What I think about at night, what I don't think about at night, what I don't realize I'm thinking about until it works its way into my dreams, that's filling the tank. Night is for maintenance and detailing. And mornings are for writing.

Karma

Good.

Nobody's Watching

Well -- if this goes anywhere it's going to be a huge, huge, quaking sea change.

From the New York Times:

At the moment the most talked-about situation comedy in the United States isn't on television at all. It's on your computer, though, and you can find it on www.youtube.com, where thousands of videos of all levels of quality are posted every day.

A comedy called — with intended irony, but not in the way that it has worked out — "Nobody's Watching" has been available on YouTube for about two weeks. As of yesterday it had been downloaded more than 300,000 times by a growing legion of fans...

"Nobody's Watching" seems to be another example of a story that the Internet world loves: the power of the amateur over the professionals. It is also the story of "viral video," which is what YouTube is all about. People post a snippet of self-made video, and word spreads about how funny, shocking, stupid or embarrassing it is.

One of the amazing things about this story is that the guy behind the show is --ta DA-- Scrubs' Bill Lawrence. This is his full-throated defence of the multi-cam sitcom, odd since Scrubs is famously, aggressively one-camera filmed -- and in fact, it probably kicked off the current round of one-camera-filmed-comedy era. Nobody's Watching was created with two writers from Family Guy: Garrett Donovan and Neil Goldman. So I guess if this show does rise from the dead, it will, in a sense, be a new twist in the incredible odds-defying saga of that show.

Between YouTube, Family Guy (and now Futurama!) rising from the dead -- kids -- nobody knows anything isn't just a credo anymore. It should be a tattoo network execs are forced to get when they sign their contracts.

Read the full Times article above -- it's quite a tale. And to save you from going to YouTube, lookie what I've got below. You're welcome.

Part One:



Part Two:



Part Three: