But I hope you'll really enjoy my Plan B.
Discovered these on Funny or Die. It's great. It's Denis Leary in a rather unsentimental fashion discussing his "oeuvre."
Y'know I've had the same conversation with a few people over the last couple months and it basically goes like this: we don't admit disasters in Canada. Fiascos. That which just. does. not. work.
On my train down I heard a repeat of a This American Life show about a grade school production of Peter Pan that went so terribly, horribly awry that in the middle of hearing the story told, host Ira Glass had to stop taping because he was guffawing in such an out of control, unseemly manner.
It happens. Things suck. Things that we went into with hearts pure and that had all sorts of talent behind it and just somehow utterly, completely unravelled.
I mean, look at Leary:
Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies - watch more funny videos
Great, huh? Wait. There's more.
Too often we rob ourselves in this country of just celebrating the suck. How can we ask people to give our shows a fair shake when we won't admit when something just.....didn't.......work....?
Now I've learned over the year that I can't criticize too much on this blog shows that get made, and in a weird sort of way I've come to think that's kind of fair. I can't both be of the industry and expect to be able to offer an opinion about something to cut it down or do it harm. I might be the guy with the show waiting in the wings with the show to replace it, after all.
So I try whenever possible to just...not talk about stuff that I think is bad and when I think something is good -- even if it's not perfect, but worth watching, I will shout it from the rafters because I think that does good for all of us and I can't abide being one of those people who can't praise others' work. For me to succeed you do not need to fail. I think we need to collectively run those people out of town on the rails.
But for 2010, among friends, in the circle, en famille, I'm going to start being a bit less politic about something that's good for this region or that, or somebody who's talented and need a break. Hey, if I can't say that I really think Bruce McDonald made some dodgy movies for awhile, then what impact can it possibly have when I say HOLY SHIT PONTYPOOL SCARED THE PANTS OFF ME and I loved, loved, loved it?
There has to be a statute of limitations, right? Right?
You know what? EXOTICA sucked. I don't get that movie at all. I know everybody loved AWAY FROM HER and Sarah Polley's a national treasure, but Holy God I thought I was going to swallow my arm on that one. And don't get me going on the WWI movie...
Anyhoo....look....I don't want catty or bitchy...but to start the new year, you, you pseuds, you commenters -- tell us a story from the vault. Let us celebrate and giggle over fiasco! with the knowledge that we all make them, we all have the scene we wrote badly, the miscast part, the bad set, the compromise that killed, the ridiculous production or location fall through that turned a maybe into a massive shitshow.
Do you dare to clear the decks, chase away the bad creative karma for the new Decade by coming clean and sharing the best of your bad lot?
That's right. YOUR bad lot. Something you did that just.... wellllll....you know.
Let's do it. For once, I'll go LAST. Have at it.
And just by point of reference remember that everybody starts somewhere. Back in the old days, when MTV showed videos, here's how everyone got their first taste of Denis Leary. I remember when these came out, they landed with the force of a bomb, so incandescent was Leary's polarizing cool.
Denis Leary - MTV PROMOS - watch more funny videos
Happy 2010. Now let's bring them fiascos into the light so that they may light our way to better creative karma in the new year!
and in an unrelated note, does anybody know why Blogger's all of a sudden doing this weird fail on the line breaking thing?
9 comments:
Okay, I'll be brave and start.
I actually had a character, from my protagonist's past, come back to find her... in order to get her kidney.
Yes, a long-lost kidney-needer.
What the fuck was I thinking? How could I let that go through? Not to mention the pilot of this series hung on whether or not our hero could afford her meal plan. At an ivy-league university. Where she was on full scholarship. Except for food. Huh??
It's so easy - especially when you're in the thick of production - to say "yes, it's fine, it makes sense, it helps my story go where I WANT it to go". But the problem is, everyone else watching has more than ample time to say, "um, no, that's just a really stupid decision".
It (painfully) illustrated for me how important it is to be 1000% vigilant with your work - because the core of that show, or what I'd hoped to do with it, is still important to me. But my mistakes shot it all down. Live and learn.
One word: "Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future". Um...not proud of it.
I did a little acting bit in a video I was making to learn how to work with actors and all that good stuff. Now the video itself was never going to be a blockbuster, it was always meant just to be practice, so that's all well and good.
But that acting I did... I was tied up and gagged. And here's something that they never show you in movies and t.v. Gags make you drool. A lot.
So after a take an actor is kind enough to pop the gag out so I can give direction and out gobs this waterfall of drool down into my lap.
That's right ladies, I'm still available.
C'mon Ken -- more. Not just Captain Power. When was the Poweriest moment where you realized that you were not going to be soldiering into a bright bright future...
...rest of yas, you bastard lurkers (and boy, you're out there -- I see the stats, they're up by 500% -- change the names, protect the guilty -- we don't care --
...but growing a teeny tiny pair for the 2nd decade of the 21st century....shouldn't that be on your to-do list?
And Aaron, yes, yes, yes, I have a phrase for that feeling you describe: "the bullshit vortex." It's when you get caught in a flat out panic stall and talk yourself into stuff.
that's where you need the trusty partner who can speak truth to power, put the hand on your shoulder and say, "y'know........"
I am still in awe of Aaron for going first.
This is a tough one. Not in a 'must change names' or 'don't want to show weakness' kinda way...but in a 'what was my shitshow...really' kinda way. I mean, PSI FACTOR was one humungous shitshow farce at the beginning for sure, but I was more along for the ride and rolling my eyes with Calvert as opposed to leading the 'doh' charge. Though I suppose the seminal moment of absurdity came early in Season One when we had to stop shooting and send art dept./prosthetics back to drawing board after one of the exec producers declared that the "real giant fleas were bigger" when flea builds the size of small dogs were constructed and brought to set. The stories from that year are insane and endless, but the unravelling was from the top and there right from the get go.
And in retrospect most one hour shows I worked on went from 8 days to 7 days to 6 days to even 5 days to shoot (half hour shows from 5 days down to 3.5 to direct an episode; tv movies from 22 days down to 18 down to 14 days)...so *compromise* was always a given.
Still mulling.
Don't mull, Dix. Just purge. High calonic time. Get it out. Sluice it! Feeels Goooood, don't it?
Here's one I've been needing to get off my chest ...
I re-wrote that ski MOW, ya know, about those 70's Cdn skiers? It was a dream job, I loved those guys as a kid. I watch skiing on TV. I'll strap anything to my feet and climb or descend a mountain. It's the only sport I don't suck at. Today, in fact, I was rather good in the trees. So it was a great fit. And oh yeah -- and it was being shot in Europe. They weren't gonna fake those classic courses and I got to go for prep and 2 weeks of shooting.
I did a pretty good job, but wasn't happy with the end product. You know, a few bad things added up. But that's not what this is about. It's still the best shoot I've ever been on.
This was the bad: I got all cock-chock full of my ski self over there in Euro, and I Arbitrated the original writer. If you've ever arbitrated, or been a juror, the writers in question write a letter for the process and you get to read and respond to the other writer. Well, when I read their letter I knew -- I was a garganuan ego-dick. Litigiousness isn't in my DNA, but I had been a ponce and a wrong-headed knob. Not only did I not have a case, I was the guy in Euro and the other talented writer was taken off their original concept, their baby, and stayed home.
I lost the arbitration, which was entirely the correct verdict. I wasted WGC time. It was the least professional move of my career and I've tried to avoid being that guy ever since.
Several years later I crossed paths with the other writer. We shook hands and didn't mention it. I didn't say sorry, unfortunately. So I am now.
How's that, D-Man?
Time for a cock-head hot tub?
Wow, G. That is very, very brave. Thanks for sharing that.
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