Listless in 2009

THE WEIRD THING of course, is that I'm usually right into the list thing.   I was that guy from High Fidelity for many, many years.  And on this blog, I did three year-end lists of the things that inspired me in the previous twelvemonth.


But the basic truth, and I know this will seem familiar to many of you, because it's something I've heard a lot of lately -- is that this year, I'm tired.  Just about the time I realized how tired I was, the decade lists started appearing -- and that made me downright exhausted.


I didn't join into a single, "you know, the Sopranos really debuted in 1999 so it's not really a show of the last decade..." arguments.  Usually that's kibble to me.  Fatigue can't explain it all.


I won't be sorry to see 2009 go.  It was a difficult year for me, and for many of my friends and relatives -- both personally, and professionally. Maybe the mojo from a decade sputtering out finally caught up with all of us.


So when I try to discern and delineate the things that inspired me this year... I have a tough time.  I got Top Tier on my Airline Miles.  That's never happened before.  I shall enjoy my upgrade certificates and doubtless nod sagely at all sorts of jokes in UP IN THE AIR that regular folk don't get...


...But I wouldn't call that inspiring.


The year started with work -- a difficult freelance assignment which I fully intend to write about with self-deprecating humility when the show finally airs. But that won't be a for awhile yet.


The career presented a whole host of choices in the first quarter, and against my better judgement, I went with my heart...and got royally burned.  But I'm proud of the work I did and treasure the experiences I had. And except for one bar fight I probably should have let unfold as God intended, I regret nothing about that time.   There's still professional stuff that I can mine for Canadian writers -- stuff about Contracts and things that I fully intend to write about ... it's just finding the time to order it so it's positive, affirming and helpful rather than a bitter shitshow.


It's not like 2009 didn't have its fun parts. A whole month off in the summer -- I haven't had that for five years and it was wonderful.  I got to spend time in NYC with a couple of my favorite people, and saw a great play, GOD OF CARNAGE.  


I got to spend more time with family this year -- my parents, Uncles, Cousins whom I never see...  and lo and behold, the year ended with one development project proceeding in a fine direction and another project appearing to challenge me in ways that I've never worked before.  So on balance, the narrative of the year isn't a negative one at all. 


But there's all these Goddamn LISTS...


And then ... A decade.  God.  Ten years ago I wasn't writing full time.  I was an unhappy television producer deep in the belly of network beast, seeing from that side just how little original production was respected, and how crazily and topsy turvy the talk would get from buyers who really thought that they were geniuses for going down to the L.A. screenings and watching TV.    


(*I should say that there are some very, very key exceptions to this attitude -- some programmers I know that were lovely people with great enthusiasms and infectious laughs.)


But see, being inside the network at that time was like living beside the magnet. The magnet distorted the natural order of things. The magnet made people who traded on the creativity of others seem more important than me, writing my little plays and trying to get out.  


But I wised up and got away from the magnet. And everything changed for the better.


So it's not a list per se, but maybe I'll just close the year by doing the thing a blog's supposed to do: pull back the personal curtain and hurtle into the overshare.


Here are some of the people who make one crazy writer's life bearable in the year 2009 and hopefully for a long time beyond:


Robert Sheridan is one of Canada's finest comedy writers.  He's smart and meticulous and committed.   We joke sometimes that our conversations are a race to see who can depress the other first, but really, we both share a healthy level of respect for professionalism and contempt for the lack of same.  If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. I know if I ever read a Rob Sheridan script, I'm going to read a story that sparks and makes me laugh out loud at least twice.  And that's pretty fine in this world. He's a good ear, a loyal friend, and a fabulous enabler.


Peter & Diane Mohan are kind of the Den Father and Mother of a whole generation of Toronto (and sometimes outside Toronto) writers.  Diane is patient and wry, and puts up with -- well, I don't know how she... well, anyway... and Peter counsels restraint and shares his knowledge freely. He's the first guy to go to for advice.  And he's the best example of how to shake it off when the shitshow gets you down.


Howard Bernstein was my first boss over twenty years ago in journalism.  I've been waiting to try and put into practice the things he taught me about managing creative people for a long time.  This year I finally did, and they worked great, and had the situation been a bit different, it would have been glorious. But I'm convinced that the man did not offer a bum steer. And now, finally, after a long career in journalism, you can read his tough, uncompromising insights into what's going wrong with TV news at his blog.


Shelley Eriksen is not just a wonderful writer with a will of iron and a heart of fire, but she's also free with sharing her experiences both good and bad.  I would work in her story room in a heartbeat, and she will always have a place in mine.


Matt MacLennan was a guy I only knew socially before this year, but I've grown to appreciate not just his talent and his passion for the job but his loyalty and his passion for trying anything new.  In fact, before it gets sloppy, I should probably just group and come clean right now about all the writers I have terrible talent crushes on -- from Daegan Fryklind and Dennis Heaton, to Karen Hill, Elan Mastai, Anne Fenn, Wil Zmak, Susin Nielsen, Brent Butt, Geri Hall, Mark Farrell, Paul Mather, and Vera Santamaria.  Jason Belleville --  who will not let you go without making you laugh, Jocelyn Cornforth, Alex Epstein and Karen McClellan -- who also work the McGrath help line in regular shifts -- as well  as pretty much everyone I've ever gone to a writer brunch with.  


And then there's my friend of over twenty years, Mark Ellis. And suddenly, we can talk shop. Funny old world.


Then there's Karen Walton.  I can barely look directly into her eyes, such is the incandescence of her drive and her talent.  As an organizing force, a project juggler and a professional she is the gold standard and our industry's lucky to have her.


I should also put the shout out to the great Jim Henshaw and Will Dixon.  Aside from the fact that we all blog, Jim and Will and I have a rolling conversation via email that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  You wish you could read this shit. But you can't. In the words of the Daffy: "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"


I also have the great fortune to serve on the WGC Council with a group of wonderful writers who do everything they can to try to make things better for our cohort in Canada: Chuck Lazer, Anne Marie Perotta, Sherry White, Jill Golick, Andrew Wreggit and WGC's President, Rebecca Schechter.  Hearing about the experiences of fellow travellers from all across Canada have hopefully made me somebody who doesn't live and die with that deadly "Toronto Focus."  And Sugith Varughese comes in regularly to keep us up to date as the WGC rep on the Actra Fraternal Benefit Society board. If you have money in that insurance plan, trust me on this one, you owe Sugith tapas, minimum.


Anyone who reads this blog regularly will know of my deep and abiding respect for Maureen Parker, Exec Director of the WGC.  Extend that same respect to Kathryn Emslie, who along with her Staff & Chairman Slawko Klymkiw keep the CFC humming.


And then there's the guy who's advice I turn to almost every day, my agent Glenn Cockburn.  Glenn's a man with vision and good humor to balance out the ambition.  God I hope I'm like that, too. That's kind of what I'm going for.


There's another agent -- well, Ex agent, who I admire and who inspires me intensely -- Elana Trainoff. For those of you not under the tent.... Elana used to be the Toronto based agent for The Alpern Group, after years working at the CFC.  But Elana recently decided that her dreams needed following, too.


So she quit and joined the FREAKING PEACE CORPS.


Admit it.  Your whiny little stuff and complaints seem small now, don't they? Mine sure do. THAT shit is inspiring, fullstop.


Oh, gosh...what about Diane Wild, who somehow runs TV Eh? as a hobby and shames the Canadian PR Corps in the process?  Or Editors Mr. MatthewPants Esquire and Jeffy, as well as new denizen CJ, who line my booth at the Paddock quite well, thank you. And Laura who will serve, sling and abuse.  Lisa's doing a good job of that too, lately.  


My world may be small, people. But I know what I like.


Anyway, there it is.  Inspiration.  People who make it possible for me to do what I do.  I'm sure there are many, many others. But it's growing late in the day, the sun's setting and a Florida sunset the night of a Blue Moon is something I won't deny myself, New Year or no.


Be safe and well and let's hope all our dreams soar in 2010.  You are all better looking than you think.


Happy New Year
Denis McGrath
Orlando, Florida, 12/31/2009