The Way It Works

OH NEWBIES. You read Josh Olson being all mean and you crumple like little petals in a strong gale. Oh, do you know? Could you?

Actual email I sent to a friend of mine yesterday:

Warning: May Contain Strong Language.

I saw you called. Sorry to say that I couldn't do a drink today because I'm a worthless, shiftless, no-talent, lazy, dumb fucking bitch of a meat-handed, retarded hack. I have shit for brains and bleach in the soul. I'm incapable of stringing together a sentence on a word processor, utterly undeserving of friendship, and could never actually please a real live

woman.

I'm gong to torture myself doing shitty shitty work tonight. Maybe a drink or lunch or something later in the week? Wed or Friday? That's if I finally man up and actually get something done instead of being a talentless snivelling douchebag.

So there you go. There you go.