Fork.

SO TONIGHT IS the wrap party for Season 2 of The Border. And with that, I shift from production writer mode back into the standard warren of the freelancer. From moldy office back to cluttered solarium. From jeans back to sweatpants. From [too much information,] back to [too much information]. I'm lucky. I have a couple of projects on the go that I can segue straight into. It'll be fun inventing worlds again instead of trying to replicate or reflect a vision that isn't necessarily your own.

I've told the same story to a couple of friends now, that Wednesday I walked around feeling all weird, and didn't know why, and sure -- there was a bit of Obama-induced-hangover in that mix -- but I realized mainly that what I was feeling was...rested.

I'd slept through the night for, like, five whole nights. In a row.

But ill winds still must blow. And one of the gusts over the transom was a really odd piece by John Doyle this week, that started out about the CRTC decision on unbundling, and no carriage fees, and then segued into the uselessness of the Geminis. What was odd was that right there, on the way, there was this strange little drive by:

Thing is, see, a lot of people who work in Canadian television - producing, writing, directing and acting in Canadian-made TV - spend a lot of time complaining about the lack of attention they get. They complain about Canadian broadcasters making money from simulcasting U.S. network shows. They complain about everything. Yet, in the case of their own awards program, they are happy to let the thing roll out in relative obscurity. It seems to me that they're perfectly happy talking to each other, reading each other's blogs, whining and telling each other how great they are.

Here's a piece of advice - get out of the house, stop blogging and reading blogs for a while. Leave the Facebook pages alone for a few days. Go talk to people who watch TV, not just the ones who make it. You'll probably find that very few of them have heard of your shows. You might also find that they're willing to watch if they hear that the show is really great. And they know it's great if it gets awards and attention. So get cracking on fixing your awards show.

Um. Well. Okay.

I confess, not really sure how to react on that one. And luckily I don't have to. Jim Henshaw has done so. And this seems to be new Jim. Jim is all restrained and stuff. It's weird. Perhaps he's gotten some rest, too.

What has gotten to me over the last while is the tension of trying to be in the industry and of the industry, and discussing the industry. There are plenty o' people who'll come up to me and offer wonderful unsolicited advice about what I should write, or write about. You even see it in the comments here, sometimes. Gradually, too, it seems that the substantive discussion has moved from my comments to my inbox. Everyone wants to dish the dirt -- just not where people can see.

Oh I get that. I do. That's the problem, you see.

The amount that I know that I can actually write about has been dropping pretty steadily for more than a year. It's been a weird summer in Canadian TV. If you're in the soup, you know what I'm talking about. There's heap big trouble down at mill. And to be honest, the solutions are problematic at best. More and more it seems that there are elements, stuff that I believe that I just can't say.

And that makes me wonder if this is just the natural lifecycle of someone going from outsider with nothing to lose to insider. I don't feel like an insider. It's ... weird. It makes me feel uncomfortable. You know, in my bathingsuit area.

This is a blog, not a journalistic outlet. And I'm confident enough saying what I say knowing that the utter lack or renumeration keeps it honest. But you should know that if you're looking for unvarnished truth here, you're probably not going to find it. I guess that's inevitable. The further down the road you go the more you have to lose.

So what I'm saying is, uh...stop asking. You want to be Deep Throat? Blogger can have you up and running in five minutes. My goal's the same. Try to help like-minded people create TV they're proud of, and shows they actually want to watch. Try to improve things for writers throughout this industry through dialogue, discussion, inspiration and attention to craft.

So, as I contemplate that shift from production writing back to development, I think maybe it's a natural time to take a fork, again. You'll probably start seeing more posts about craft and craft-related matters here, and less about the industry as a whole. That's where my head will be at as I start to work out new characters and stories and series ideas. Maybe I'll even finally be able to watch a bit more TeeVee. I'm down to a few hours a week now. It seems wrong, somehow. Like an Opera Singer who never practices and just listens to AC/DC.

One more thing. In his piece, Jim talks about the outreach and education efforts being undertaken by Karen Walton at inkcanada. I think community building is important, and informal and formal mentoring...and maybe some of those meetings with people just getting into the business is going to make their path through things easier than it was for me, or for some of the other bloggers and tv writers out there. I think that's a worthwhile goal. Your mileage may vary.

In any case, it's what I can offer. Hope you like it. And if you don't, I of course offer you a full refund, no questions asked.

Now. Where's that wrap party invite...?