They. Fucking. Suck.
Why?
Well, let me put it this way. How about having to send the government your tax return before you figure out your taxes? Or, maybe you'd like to furnish your house before you build it. Oh, wait! Wait! Here's a good one -- ask that girl to marry you when you pick her up for the first date. Yeah! Yeah! See how far you get then!
A one-pager is having to figure out the story before you've broken the story. And they always have to be done fast. And they always suck. It's like an unending prostate exam. They are the Carson Daly of screenwriting.
Gaaaahaahahhhh!
Anyway, in other news, Happy Birthday to the Beavis of the Canadian TV bloggers.Director. Writer. Educator. Sometime Network Suit. Championship Rope Dancer. Pre-Industrial Hapsburg Military Tactician, and Three time County Wide Fire Swallowing Champion, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. Will Dixon.
I want you to look at his picture.
Look at it. Look at that commanding, fierce, yet lost look.
I want you to look at it, and in the comments below I would like you to caption it appropriately.
Me, I've gotta keep scaling the @$#%ing snowbank.
15 comments:
You COULD have been chewing the fat in Montreal. No one pagers here, baby. But noooooooo.
Hey -- come up with a caption or move it along, Epstein. This lady's not for taunting.
You are absolutely right. Worse, the one pagers favour shows that are facile, that can be explained in a single page. They are attention deficit disordered. They work against the prospect of nuance and change in characters, the very things that give a series legs.
He's thinking, "Moon Bloodgood."
"They're an actress waking up to discover that she's on the wrong side of 40 in a sexist business where women readily mutilate themselves past the point where they look human for just six more months in the spotlight that never comes."
Sh!t. Now you tell me.
The season's a little off, but my caption would be "It's Santa Claus! Could you just stop crying just long enough to get this shot?"
"My God. It's full of tapioca."
(Sorry, best I got. My last couple days are quite well-described by your opening paragraph...)
As for the first half of your post Hemingway, I'm sorry... I feel at least partly responsible. Really, I had know idea ... lol
"Pharoah von Finckenstein, let my people go!"
"God I hope I don't end up teaching at a university"
Borrowed from Alan Moore:
"Mind the oranges, Marlon!"
Oh My God...they are actually doing what I'm telling them to do...
I AM a director. I AM.
Aw crap..that's lunch.
You know what I love about writers? They write to take a break from writing. They write on their vacations. They write while brushing their teeth. They even write TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WRITING!
My caption: "Wasn't there supposed to be blood on the floor?"
"Aww! How come no one bought me a cookie?"
"I've got a Twinkie in this pocket for the first one who takes her top off."
"I'm going to be a blogger?"
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