When You're This High, How Low Can TV Go?

I'VE COME UP with a whole new way to judge television shows.

Watch them at 40 000 feet, on a 3 inch screen.

I'm serious.

Flying back from Vancouver last night on Westjet 626, I did my level best to tune out the three crying babies by availing myself of the seatback TV.

Much as I found earlier this year, when I briefly spent some time in the 1970's, Canadian TV viewing, off air, really sucks. The promos -- even for the flashy U.S. series, aren't the hot promos you see cut by FOX or NBC or ABC -- they're more likely to be generic, cookie-cutter cut, cut, cut, slapped up with whatever horrible v/o guy CTV or Global uses. Then there are the ads...less advertisers, so you see the same seven commercials over, and over, and over. The news promo for the election coverage is the exact same promo every time. No variation. No differentiation. It doesn't put you in the best mood to watch the show.

And what of the shows themselves? Well, man, you really do judge those act outs differently when you actually are going to have to wait two and a half minutes to see them again.

One of the things I've noticed lately is how unpopular the "return to the exact same moment" act outs have become. You try to pitch that and lots of times, the network doesn't want it, or the showrunner doesn't like it, or the director balks or somebody somewhere says, "don't break it there, that's cheesy -- finish the scene and break somewhere else."

And you know what? It IS cheesy when you see it on a DVD or an instant later, on a PVR/Tivo with no time having passed. It calls attention to the artifice of the act out. But when you have to sit through three minutes of Brand Power, the new Nissan Rogue, It's Patrick and he's talking about Life Insurance, and Celebratrix which cures sleeplessness but may cause anal warts, pleurisy, gout, loose stools, carbunkles, Toby Keith fandom, and spontaneous wasting syndrome -- you don't mind coming back to the same moment one little bit. In fact, it's kind of preferable. Your mind doesn't have to do the little mental calculation of "who is this and what story are we in right now?"

The last step of audio production used to always be not how does it sound on perfect studio monitors, but how does it sound on a crappy car stereo? I sometimes think that we're doing reviewers, producers, networks and everybody else a disservice by not remembering that when you're writing for commercial TV there will be commercials there -- and despite how many people zip past, many, many more will watch them. Or at least part of them. You don't get the uninterrupted experience.

So...how did the shows rate at 40 000 feet?

First, I gave Chuck a second chance -- something I might not have done at home. It grew on me. I liked the tango bits, and I liked especially the interplay between Zach Levi and Thomas Jane, who for his unsung utility excellence is my nominee for the Terry O'Quinn pre-LOST will-this-actor-ever-get-any respeck award. I still find that the sister an unnecessary character, and the annoying friend has none of the warmth you need from the annoying friend. But Chuck's nerd posse has promise. And the girl is adorable and asskicky. I might have to recalibrate the Dad-O-Meter on this one.

Similarly, Journeyman held up again for me. I like the symmetry of the wife finding out about Lydia and Lydia finding out about the wife. I like the heart. McKidd continues to give a solid performance. It was a very diverting hour.

Which leaves the meat in the middle.

When Hiro was ready to leave the 16th century, I practically hurrah-ed in my seat, only to be disappointed when he backed off. I don't like/understand/care about Maya and her brother, wasn't pleased to see Nikki again, and was bored by the Peter thing. For this we saved the cheerleader?

I think that Variety's Season Pass blog sums up the Heroes malaise pretty well. I think I remember reading somewhere that all the Heroes stories are written separately and chunked together. Without any kind of guiding theme, you live and die on how interesting your serial storytelling is. And sad to say, this year, Heroes isn't. Where's the big twist endings? The villains? The dread, the joy, the fun, the escapism? Stephen Tobolowsky, you are no Lindeman, never mind HRG. But then again, with HRG seconded to Kinkos, even HRG isn't HRG anymore.

When you can't entertain someone who has nowhere else to go because he's belted into a seat surrounded by screaming babies -- you have slipped, mister.

When I got home, I watched Ep 2 of Intelligence again. Taut, exciting, tense fun. Great work from Matt Frewer, Klea Scott, Ian Tracey, and John Cassini. I can't believe more people aren't watching this show. Go ahead, watch David Caruso do the sunglass thing for the 1398th time, you fucking sheep.

Blame it on the turkey.