He doesn't post enough...but one of our up and coming writers, who'll be sure to succeed in the coming, inevitable post-U.S.-Canada-Iraq cultural merger, Callaghan, contributes a great one about the pitch from hell.
I remember being in a meeting a while back now where there were lots of people from the network, and lots of people from the co. I was working with, and the perfect example of a show that had lessons for what we were trying to do with our project, and the only person who'd seen the show were me, and the big, big, big, big boss. All the underlings, all my fellow partners? No help.
So me and the big boss talked this show for four minutes as other people looked at their nails. It was weird. But lessons learned: a) that's how you get to be the big boss, and b) remember, always, that you can't count on the people you're pitching to to actually be up on the genre or material. It's far more likely that they'll be enthralled with the last book they read that said one brad, not two. Or whatever.
Anyway, C. We have all been there, bud. Thanks for sharing your shame. More.
Pros, what's your pitching horror story?
6 comments:
I went into a network to pitch a show, it went alright... They weren't sold on it, which was fine... But then they asked me to tell them more about myself.
So, I basically listed off my resume.
My producer mentioned another show I had worked on- a very successful show that was on their network, but wasn't listed on my resume.
They asked, "What did you do on the show?"
I said that I worked on the scripts in the first season.
They asked, "Why don't you have a credit?"
I said that I was just in the room, helping with outlines and stuff. I was supposed to get a "consultant" credit, but it got demoted to a "thank you"... c'est la vie.
Then I said - to sort of save face, and in a "oh, here's some interesting trivia" sort of way - that I had actually come up with the name of the show.
To which they responded, "No you didn't".
I said, "Actually, yeah, the head writer e-mailed me asking for some alternative names to the show because it had a horrible name, and he'd give me fifty bucks if I came up with a better name... I e-mailed him a list, five months later he told me that he owed me fifty bucks".
The executives stared at me and said, "We all came up with that name".
I said, "No, i came up with it, gave it to the head writer, and he bounced it around until it was decided on".
They stared me down and said, "No, that's not true, you're lying."
And that was how the meeting ended.
I wasn't five feet out the door before I was halfway through a pack of cigarettes, after having been quit for almost a year.
(I've withheld the name of the "show" and the network for obvious reasons)
Jesus, Watts. I felt that story in my colon.
Keep it coming, peoples!
My worst pitch ever involved pure physical comedy. We were at MIPTV, and the walls between our stand and the one next door were pretty flimsy. My boss was giving the big pitch, got up and was animatedly talking ... leaned against the wall and the wall fell down. He went careening into the next stand and into the lap of a another broadcaster we know who was having another meeting.
Pretty much no getting either meeting back on track after that. I went and hid at the coffee bar and had ice cream to soothe my nerves while they were trying to put our wall back up.
Ouch...
To offer a different perspective on things, I was brought in to hear a pitch from a company who wanted a script based on the Company President's BIG FAT IDEA.
So I'm in the Prez's office and we chit-chat, and then he proceeds to pitch me this BIG FAT IDEA...
Strike that...
He proceeds to pitch me the nastiest, stupidest (and yes, racist) BIG FAT IDEA I've ever heard in my life. I couldn't speak, could barely form a coherent thought.
"So what do you think? Can we get a script from you in two weeks? We want to get moving on this BIG FAT IDEA."
It would have been so easy. Two weeks out of my life on a "go" picture...but I wouldn't have been able to look at myself in the mirror. (Yes guys, even I have standards - low as they may be). The only way I could have been more screwed is if I dropped the soap in the shower of a men's Prison.
How the hell was I going to get out of this?
I started asking some questions trying to get the UPM and the Prez to understand how terrible this idea was without giving myself away. The UPM didn't care because he was just paid to make them. He wanted the money.
I had to be crafty.
Instead I just got lucky.
The Prez said something, and I said, "Oh, like that movie that just came out."
Killed it right then and there.
When I was very much younger and even more stupid I had a meeting with a prodco interested in a project.
There was another prodco mildly interested as well. And I had just gotten a major TV star wanting to play the lead.
So......while in the meeting, I got a friend to phone me pretending to be the other prodco.
I answered the phone, and yessed and no'd for a few seconds. I didn't notice the producer's eyes glazing over.
I ended the call and informed the producer that was prodco B on the phone, they'd just heard that I've got Star Y attached and were very interested.
''Oh have you'' said the producer. ''Then this meeting is over, because we won't be doing anything with Star Y involved, but good luck with prodco B''
I shuffled out. Prodco B passed of course.
Thanks for the plug. It quadrupled my readership over the past few days. If I can save just one person out there from referencing a show they've never seen in their very first ever pitch session, then my mission will be complete.
Oh, and DMc, Matt, Caroline, Bill and English Dave, about your pitch stories........ awesome. Just awesome.
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