Schedule a-go-go!

On this blog, I've given stick in the past to Canadian programmers who congratulate themselves for their brilliance, when really all they're doing is simulcasting U.S. shows, trading on the creativity (and creative risk) of other broadcasters.

Well for that class of programmer, there is no phrase more headache-inducing than this: Super Sized Comedies.

The perennially lame NBC sweeps trick (Has there ever been a "super sized" episode that was better than a normal episode of the same series, rather than just bloated and unnecessary?) wreaks havoc for Canadian networks locked into simulcasting shows from multiple U.S. Networks. Check out this train-wreck of a breakdown from Bill Brioux in today's Toronto Sun.

Now for the tricky part: If you are planning to watch this show on a Canadian station, better sit down. NBC's scheduling scheme is a super-sized headache for Global, which normally simulcasts the NBC comedies.

Write this down: NBC will air the 40-minute Earl finale from 8:40 to 9:20, between super-sized episodes of Will & Grace (8 p.m. to 8:40) and The Office (9:20 to 9:59).

Global, which is locked in with Survivor Panama from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m., will air the super-sized Earl from 9 p.m. to 9:40, followed by an Earl encore ("Monkeys In Space") that they will cram, commercial free, into the 9:40 to 10 p.m. slot before leading into Without A Trace at 10 p.m.

Could that be more confusing? Yes, actually. Global has no plans to air tonight's second-last episode of Will & Grace, "Whatever Happened To Baby Gin?" Bernadette Peters guests as Karen's long-lost sister who was injured as a child in a game of Twister. Sounds like Will & Grace is ending just in the nick of time.

NBC has it at 8. Global, which fobbed this over to CH years ago, has it on the shelf. CH is clogged up tonight with two hours of American Inventors (8-10 p.m.). Maybe an inventor will some day figure out some way Canadian networks can cram even more American shows onto their schedules.

Next week, Global will air the one-hour Will & Grace series finale, plus the one hour retrospective special (from 8-10 p.m.). Not CH, Global. Does your head hurt? My head hurts.

It gets worse. The Office has a 40-minute season finale tonight (9:20 - 9:59), written by series star Steve Carell. Something about a casino night in the warehouse. Huge laffs.

Global can't show it tonight and might show it later. Or not.

Whew.

Now, I don't have any objection to channels making money. Hell, my livelihood depends on it. But seriously -- on some level, when you read the above -- wouldn't it help to have a few hit shows that you actually had control over?

You know what makes this worse, too? Once upon a time, if you were a Canadian network and you couldn't show the show at the same time as the U.S. net, you sometimes got the opportunity to pre-release it. So the show would air a night earlier in Canada. That largely seems to have disappeared, especially for the big shows. Canadian networks sometimes show a show, say, an hour earlier than in the U.S., but I'm willing to bet that in the downloading world, distribs are a whole lot tighter about letting the show air in Canada too much ahead of the U.S. broadcast.

Almost makes you think it would be easier to, you know, make your own shows.

Nah.