Writers in a Room: What Kind of Whine To Serve?

So last night in Toronto there was a little get together pre-national forum of the Writers Guild of Canada.

It's not the big-writer hoo-ha get together: that happens at the end of this month at the Canadian Screenwriting Awards. This was just a small pub thing to, I don't know, canvas the membership.

Get a bunch of writers in a room and some surprising things happen. You learn some stuff.

I learned, for instance, that my irrational attachment and feeling that Veronica Mars has managed to crack the standalone vs. arc problem is not a unique view.

I learned, once again, that get-togethers are very different when there's not forty actors in the middle of the room doing the "please look at me! me! me!" dance.

I learned that I have a certain fond affection for the writer's version of that dance: "please don't look at me under any circumstances, but damnit, listen to what I'm telling you."

I continued my strange tradition of having conversations about Stephen Sondheim when it's least expected.

I learned that translation work is not as well-regulated as it should be, which is odd for a country that purportedly has two official national languages.

I learned that I'm not alone in wishing for a network executive who will just stand up, lay it on the line, and say, "This is my Lost, my Office, my Seinfeld...I will spend my capital on this. I believe in this show and I will stand behind it and fight for it."

I learned that when you've had nothing but whisky and Guinness and one Yogurt all day, finger foods are clearly awesome.

I learned that I probably have to shut up about the goddamn CBC.

I learned that yes, writers are witty and fun, and wicked and scabrous and incredibly intelligent. And that none of that matters because noone listens to a damn thing we say. Ever.

And then someone stole my coat. So you know, if you were at the Bedford Academy last night and you walked off with a grey sort of sportscoat that clearly wasn't yours, I wish you bird flu.

So there. I learned I would like the power to smite people.

I should have known that about myself before.