I ran out of Starbucks coffee this morning.
It's a bit of a tragedy.
I got addicted to grinding the Starbucks beans myself and making great drip coffee about a year and a half ago. That's when I knew two people who worked at Starbucks. They'd slip me a pound of beans every couple of weeks and all was copasetic.
Course, once they moved on, I was screwed -- destined to have to spend fourteen bucks a week just to have the wherewithal to make it through the average morning.
So this morning, when I found there wasn't enough Starbucks beans to grind for a pot, and I had to switch to the substandard Dr. McGuffin's Whatever The Fuck This Is supposed "upscale" beans from my grocery store downstairs -- I knew there was going to be trouble.
And there is. I'm on my second cup of coffee now, and it tastes a bit like feet.
At times like this, I'm reminded of my father. He may have toiled in he trenches of sugar water bottling management for a good portion of his life, but he is a stone cold ninja with a percolator.
That's right, bitches. A percolator.
An old-style, low-tech, drip drip ceramic monstrosity that is not sexy in the slightest. It does not foam, whip, or gently heat the milk. It glugs, and boils, and must be turned from boiling to perking to heating in a precise minute arrangement that my father has burned into his sense memory.
And the net result is my father can buy 1.99 a pound, Chock Full O'Shit coffee -- the kind that comes pre-mixed with cigarette butts already in the tin-- the kind of coffee that Juan Valdez's syphillitic burro would turn up his nose at -- and scoop it into his little metal perk basket, and put it on the stove, and voila! Ten minutes later: a symphony of coffee flavor.
And I have to go out and spend fourteen fucking dollars.
3 comments:
I had the same problem when a friend stopped working at Second Cup.
Then my lovely wife introduced me to organic fair trade coffee - they start at about $12/pound at Moonbean.
Cheaper than Starbucks. Guilt-free. And they don't taste like feet.
Little secret for poor screen writers in LA:
Go to the 99Cents store chain to buy your coffee. You can often find Starbucks brand there as well as Peet's and other "name brands".
And its only 99c.
You can also get local brand milk (including soy) and other coffee condiments (creamer, sweetener, etc...) that really make for an affordable, tasty home coffee experience.
At the end of the month I tally up the office expenses and coffee always brings a smile to my face because we are never without a good cup o' joe to offer clients when they pop in to the Secret Mountain HQ.
*** This message brought to you by your mad pulp bastard, the one guy you definitely want to keep watered with coffee during the day***
I'm hooked on Lablaws brand of irish cream coffee beans ($6-$8 per bag), which I grind up before popping into my run-of-the-mill $12 coffee maker. Pure heaven!
KJC (who actually prefers to drink herbal tea moat days of the week)
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