Doyle Runs Down the Cancon Cornucopia

CANADIAN CREATIVES have a tough, fair minded ally in the Globe & Mail's John Doyle. He's not a cheerleader for homegrown stuff -- if it's not very good he'll say it -- which means his recommendations are less dismissable. And though there are those inside the CBC who don't get it, who go apoplectic over every Doyle criticism -- they fail to understand that not only is he just doing his job, but he's doing it from a place of general intense support for the CBC.

So this morning he runs down the Cancon offerings for fall and winter on the various networks. Now, the sensitive people in the CBC are liable to cotton to this passage:

Mind you, CBC takes a Soviet-era, Kremlin-like stance on advance notice of its shows. Asked to provide a list of what's coming between now and late January, CBC's outsourced publicity company essentially provided a list of what's airing next week. Later came notice of two other shows, neither of which I'd pick as really notable.

It seems some CBC shows don't exist until some CBC executive says they exist, which happens in November. This is weird. Thousands of people have seen snippets of the hockey drama MVP on YouTube. The show looks sensationally good and there's much buzz, but it doesn't exist until the Kremlin says it exists. Advance buzz isn't a CBC thing. CBC's policy is this: Whatever you say, say nothing.

A couple of months ago, when the fall stuff was announced, and when CBC specifically announced their fall schedule, they actually took some heat from journalists because they weren't doing enough drama. This, when in reality there were at least three more series in production for later starts. I know. I was working on one of them.

Consequently, the story got spun the way it did instead of the true story, which is this: If you care at all about quality Canadian drama and comedy, you need to care about the CBC. They are doing more, they are making shows with the right budget, and they're working really hard to make them good -- harder than any other Canadian broadcaster. Period.

The attitude that Doyle talks about isn't helping to get that message out. But it needs to get out. For all its flaws, the CBC wears the white hat here.

Anyway -- moving on to the shameless self promotion part of the discussion, here's what Doyle has to say about the two shows I'm involved with this fall:

Across the River to Motor City (CITY-TV, starts Nov. 22) is perhaps the most ambitious of the new Canadian dramas. Set both in Detroit and in Windsor, Ont., and in both the present and the 1960s, it's about private eye Ben Ford (played in youth by Sasha Roiz, and in old age by David Fox), whose girlfriend disappeared on the day of the JFK assassination. Her remains are finally found, and Ben must unravel what happened. Noirish, moody and complex, it's got an awful lot of plot.

The Border (CBC) "confronts Canada's toughest border-security issues" according to the CBC. It's about an outfit called the Immigration and Customs Security (ICS) Squad, and it stars James McGowan, Sofia Milos, Graham Abbey and Catherine Disher. An expensive bet for CBC, the series is big on action and intrigue, in a genre that requires oodles of ingenuity in the writing and directing. The rough pilot episode I've seen is promising but dramatically wobbly.

So there it is. ATR premieres the week of November 22 on Citytv stations in those markets that have them. (Check your local listings for the exact date and time. I think Winnipeg actually goes first, on the 19th.) The Border premieres on CBC in early 2008.

Of the other shows Doyle talks about, I think I'm probably looking forward most to MVP. (I had a shameful early dalliance with Footballers Wives) and Search and Rescue -- though I've also got high hopes for Da Kink in My Hair.

And don't forget, Rent-A-Goalie returns October 28. I've got two eps of that, 2nd season, too.

Oh, and Blood Ties continues on SPACE and Citytv. My eps are toward the end of the season. Oh God, the shameless self promo...somebody stop me...

And in the End...

YOU HAVE a read-through, it goes well, people give their tiny little line changes, you change a couple of character names because they didn't come back "clear for use," and...

...full YELLOW draft.

Sigh.

Anyway, they started shooting yesterday. It looked great. Good energy, lots of extras for our media mob.

I remember why I do this.

Big Shots: XY Need Not Apply

THE TORONTO STAR'S Vinay Menon has a review of Big Shots (premiering tonight) which elucidates in very specific terms, exactly what I was talking about last year in my post, The Eyeballs of Men. From Menon's review:

Who are these whiny imposters television is trying to pass off as men?

This is the question male viewers will ask after watching the premiere of Big Shots (ABC, CTV, 10 tonight). Assuming, that is, they can get through the hour without losing consciousness from all the involuntary forehead slapping.

Notify Guinness because we have a first: a show about men that couldn't possibly be aimed at men. A show in which male characters sit around on a patio and share their innermost feelings or stand around on a golf course and untangle their woes or lounge around in a sauna and bemoan the ephemera threatening to tear their hearts asunder.

In short: a gal pal show in which the gals are lads.

The feminized, science-fiction tv male lives! On TV, at least. I won't be tuning in Big Shots tonight. Based on the preview and the reviews, I've seen what I need to.

If you want to see a version of Big Shots that's actually about men, try to find a DVD of the BBC show Manchild. It's good fun. And for bonus points -- it stars Giles from Buffy!

As Prep Continues...

IT WAS PROBABLY a little ambitious to try and run down prep day by day. Those days easily get away from you. Then it's 10:00 pm and you've been here 13 hours and you're suddenly thinking that life would be better if we didn't have to use the word "and" so much. Really, look at it there on the page. "And." It mocks you. What kind of stupid motherfucking word is "And?"

And don't even get me started on prepositions.

Anyway, I think I left you on Day Four with the Pink Draft out to people, and getting ready for the Blue Draft.

The problem is I kind of forget now what changed from Pink to Blue.

On Friday, there were a couple of more meetings. The first was very long -- and difficult. It's the Playback meeting.

The Border is kind of a tech-y show -- and there's moments that involve seeing information come up on a video screen...news stories, maps, computer searches -- anything that you see on a computer or TV screen has to be edited together, and played back on the day.

One of the signature elements of our set is a very cool looking technical station where one of the characters monitors incoming data. This is where we get a lot of the exposition and story out, and also where the character, who's irreverent and fun, plays a lot of his scenes. There are seventeen monitors there. Each one has to have something up on it. It has to be fed from the other room. If things need to change during the scene, those changes either have to be edited together and played back in sync so it looks like our guy is driving those changes -- OR, it has to be in such a way that the guy behind the scenes really is driving the changes live, in essence doing for real what the character on screen seems to be doing.

So our Graphics & Motion Designer, Jae, has to put together, design and make ready for the day it plays every single element that appears on a computer screen or a TV screen. There's another way you can do this, if you lock off, you do what's called "a burn in." That's where people basically watch a blank (or green) screen and you put it in in post. Canadian TV does this a lot because it's cheaper and it's way faster than trying to coordinate playback on the day -- but it also doesn't look nearly as good. And -- our visual esthetic is handheld -- so it wouldn't really work for our show anyhow.

So you find yourself sitting through a meeting and going...through... every...single ...image. It's great training. Seriously, you will never lazily write "so and so looks up on the monitor and sees a giant condor streaking across the screen then exploding into a frog's anus" again.

Not that you would. Just saying.

Anyway -- it's a loooong meeting. Once again, I'm impressed by the dedication of all the people who work to actualize something that I just cavalierly throw down on a page.

Later in the day, there's a spirited discussion surrounding costumes for our guest lead. The action in my script is compressed so it all takes place in one day. But my guest lead is supposed to be a huge movie star, so we're trying to motivate costume changes. There is, believe it or not, a long and involved discussion on the mechanics of how and when she would change, and why. I have her in a bathrobe for a scene. Really? Ruth, the costume designer wants to know, why would she be in a bathrobe then? She's under great stress at that moment for a reason I can't go into because of spoiling the fun.

And you know what? It's a legit question. All these things that never occur to you -- and they're good questions. It takes a village, man. And once again I remember one of those things about film that really gets to me:

"A film by." Wow. That credit really is bullshit. If only the DGA had an ounce of shame.

It's finally decided that she can get in the bathrobe, but it needs to happen earlier. Also, our timeline through the day is a little off, and we need to adjust time somewhere in the second act so that there's enough time elapsed for the actions we have to play out. I decide to add a running timeline in the scene heading slugs so it's clear how much time has passed from scene to scene.

The Blue Draft came out on Monday. I started work on it over the weekend and came in and did some more stuff, sending it out about midday. I seem to recall that it was tweaky stuff -- lines of dialogue here, a bit of different staging there. One scene changed significantly -- a psychiatrist scene that I wasn't really getting the flavour of, so one of the showrunners took a pass and I integrated that with my changes.

Because I've added that slugline timeline, though, what is a minor set of revisions still pushes the draft from pages to a full draft. Once you go to production, you lock the script, and then every change you make generates the next coloured page. If you change more than half the pages, you issue a full new draft. Less than half, you issue pages, and people collate the revisions into their last full coloured draft.

People in the other departments kind of hate it when you issue too many drafts. Production has to run the drafts, and that's way more work for them -- and every member of the team : art, costumes, construction, set dec, props -- have all made notes. Every time you make a new draft, they have to go through and transfer those notes across. It's a drag. You learn to dread having to put out a full draft.

The story coordinator looks at you with those damaged soulful, "don't make me do this" eyes, and you just say, "full draft, bitch..." because you're cold like that.

The rest of Monday is easy enough for me, I guess. They're still scouting locations, and finalizing casting of some of the smaller parts.

Tuesday -- Day 7 of Prep

Everything's going Green.

Green Draft, that is. The day starts with a "tone meeting," which is exactly what it sounds like. The story department sits down with the Director to talk through the tone of all the scenes. We've been sneaking a little more emotional heft into the story in the last few drafts. Once you get the story working structurally, suddenly you have room to deepen this note, or that note. The exact turn of phrase you were struggling with suddenly seems to present itself.

There's one more thing we're there to do: cut scenes. The board still looks fearsome on a couple of days. So with fresh eyes, we figure out a way to lop off a scene in Act One and get the essential info out in a later scene. And there's another series of three scenes that we figure can play as one long scene with a walk through.

The problem is that every time you break out a scene, that's a setup. The unit needs to block, light, go in for coverage. If you have too many scenes -- even if they're short, you start to add up the time you spend in that setup and pretty soon you've burned an hour you don't have. The funny thing is, now you know the story so well that you can be ruthless: cut a scene here, combine two, all to make it fit the board.

But it leads to...another full draft. That's right, story coordinator, Jimmy the Bat, Take it! Take it!

There's also a bit of back and forth with the art department. I've called for passports, a newspaper headline, a visa letter -- all of these need to be created. I wind up writing a fake letter for the visa application. I'll save you the freeze frame time next year -- there are no dirty words, just a fun bunch of strung together legalese and officialspeak. It's actually way more satisfying to write that stuff than to open up your mailbox and have to read it. Is it possible that real lawyers get secret fuzzy jollies coming up with this shit for real?

Prep Day 8

The major event today is the production meeting. Once through the shooting schedule, day by day. By now, the story is pretty set. The locations are chosen. We're cast. And so through the meeting, the script pretty firmly passes out of my comfort zone -- as a collection of story beats and scenes, to the realm of the first A.D., Michael -- now it's just a bunch of pieces -- numbers of extras, props needed, cars, playback, art. Here it is, story deconstructed into its component parts. It's in that in between phase -- for the moment, not a story to be told -- but a product to be manufactured.

Then, after, one more playback meeting. I want to kill myself.

There are a few change pages for the Yellow, but we're going to hold them off until the read through. Hopefully the read through will only mean dialogue tweaks. You hear how the actor reads a line, sometimes a substitution they make that works...you answer their questions.

Which brings us to today.

There's a bunch of prop photos that play in my ep, too. (Playback and Prop photos -- I can't make it simple, can I?) They were shot this morning, Cherry Beach standing in for the Sudan. Magic of TV. The Director comes in to tell us they look great.

Actors are trickling in for their costume fittings with Ruth. Our guest lead is flying in from Los Angeles later this afternoon. The Producers will meet her later.

Then, at the crew lunch, the read through, some quick and dirty changes and hopefully we'll issue Yellow pages tonight. And hopefully it won't be a full draft.

Tomorrow we shoot. And another episode starts prep.

So it goes.

Americans are a Gassy People

WELL CONGRATS all around to those toiling out in Rouleau.

From Playback:

Americans have been charmed by the quirky residents of Dog River, who drew high ratings to Superstation WGN when Corner Gas made its south-of-the-border premiere.

Amid favorable reviews from U.S. critics, the first two episodes of season one scored 357,000 and 290,000 viewers (2+), respectively, on Sept. 10 at 8 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. ET. Those numbers compare favorably to America's Funniest Home Videos, the highest rated show on the satellite and cable channel, which garnered 541,000 viewers in the same Monday timeslot the week prior.

The Gas episodes also played well in the key 18-49 demographic -- 176,000 and 168,000 -- taking second place behind AFHV and even finishing ahead of a Cubs-Cardinals game.

"Baseball, especially Cubs competing for the division title, is big on our network, so this was a great start," a spokesperson for WGN tells Playback Daily. The Chicago-based channel reaches over 70 million U.S. homes. It celebrated the premiere of the Regina-shot comedy, seen here on CTV, with a free gas giveaway during an online contest.

We can do this if you support us. There are more Corner Gas's in us yet!

The Dad-O-Meter

MEASURING ONE'S reaction to new fall shows is by no means an exact science. But this year I've rolled out a new tool.

I got a second TV.

One for the bedroom. It was an impulse buy. I've not had a TV in the bedroom, well, ever. At least since I lived with my parents -- in those long ago times when I moved down to dwell, sturm and drang and all, in the basement.

Having a TV in the bedroom, of course, means that one is able to watch TV in bed. And that means that shows can now be measured by using the Dad-O-Meter, which is carefully calibrated in UoS (Units of Sleep.) If I find myself dozing in the middle of the show, (UoS 1) you know that's not good news. If I actually catch myself snoring, (UoS 5) that's a pretty signficant indictment. (There are other gradations on the UoS scale, including "lost time," to "mixed with dream for more satisfying viewing experience" but they're all highly technical measurements, so I won't get into them.) Suffice it to say that the use of the Dad-O-Meter also provides the most concrete evidence yet that I am indeed turning into my father.

My father falls asleep in front of the TV all the time. Then he wakes up ten minutes later and can't follow the action and starts asking questions. But he doesn't fall asleep in front of Rome, say. He discovered the Dad-O-Meter years ago.
So what does the Dad-O-Meter say about the new fall shows thus far?

K-Ville

I liked the pilot, but wasn't sure I saw the show past the cop show set in New Orleans thing. And you know what? If they're going to set a cop show in N.O. and then back away from the Katrina implications, then I definitely am not interested. The preview for Ep 2 looked like it might be going that way, so I stayed away (for now.) It's on the PVR but I decided to check out some other fare.

Chuck (may not be exactly as pictured)

...surprised me. Not because I liked it -- Zachary Levi is winning and the action was great, and that lead actress I've never seen before was good, and she sure is gorgeous. (And just in case you weren't sure of that, they give you not one, but two scenes with her in her underwear to make the sale.) Yes, Chuck was well-executed and fun.

Nope, I'm surprised because I don't want to go back. I guess the thing is, at the end of the day, with the very few "add" slots I have for TV viewing, I'm not clamoring for a cross between Alias and The 40 Year Old Virgin. I want different things from each of those genres. Sorry Chuck. Nice try. But I did stay awake.

Hey..isn't Rachel Bilson coming on this show? Mmm. Maybe one more. I'll check back in a few weeks.

Journeyman

was equally a surprise. I'd read a few vaguely disappointed reviews, and yes, the show is basically Quantum Leap. But there's a couple of things that really drew me in.

First, I thought it was a really well-executed pilot. Great production values, but it didn't exactly look like it was $10 million more than any other ep of the series...I'm not looking to be burned by that this year. Second, Kevin McKidd from Rome is just a magnetic guy. He's a great actor, and you want to go with him. I also appreciated that they didn't go for the obvious cultural reference points when they were in the past. Okay, yeah, there was the guy talking on the cell phone the size of a casket, but there were subtler touches as well. I loved the old clip of Bryant Gumbel and Jane Pauley on the Today show, and the Less Than Zero billboard. I liked the murky morality doublecross -- he's kind of there to save someone, but kind of not. If anything demonstrates the change of attitude in America in the twenty years since Quantum Leap, it's how they handled that plot.

And then, Lord Baby Jesus, there she is. Moon Bloodgood. Oh, man. Seriously, was this woman created in some sort of Evil Genius' lab? Nice twist with her character too -- also being some sort of 'traveler.' And all the stuff with the wife didn't feel forced to me. I liked how committed he is to his wife. Made me feel good and gooey about True Lurrv. "Honey, I love you so much I didn't even have sex with Moon Bloodgood." That should be on a card.

The thing is, I feel like this exact show broke my heart earlier this season, with Daybreak (and Bloodgood, too) so I'll be watching the ratings closely before I commit to an 'add' here.

Cane

Gosh, they're really taking this one seriously. But Jimmy Smits is such a solid television performer that maybe I sh...zzzzz.zzzzZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZz.

Big Bang Theory

I was actually asleep before Chuck Lorre's credit came up.

Back To You

Troubling. Pilot was boring and I dozed. Jokes felt creaky. The character of the news director is exactly the same character that Grant Shaud played on Murphy Brown, and that was, what, twenty years ago? Oh wait, except this guy's overweight. And so we get a moment when the audience gets to laugh at the sweatstains under his arms. Nice.

It's not exactly Frasier and Niles quipping about Opera, is it? I also wanted some more genuine nastiness between Patty Heaton and Kesley Grammer. He's an anchorman, for God's sake. I don't want him to be likable. And while we're at it, you should be working harder to make me forget the movie Anchorman. I'm thinking about pulling out the DVD while I'm watching this. Not a good sign.

I can't believe it's not better, though, so I'll give it one more. Maybe. If I stay awake.

Reaper

Here's where the Dad-o-Meter breaks down a bit. I didn't get to the end. (Oh, let's face it, I didn't get much past Act Two) but that's not the fault of the show. Ray Wise as the Devil is fantastic and funny. It had a familiar feel to it, because I'd just watched Chuck, which plays in much the same arena -- but I liked Reaper's sidekick character way, way better. That must be it. The Dad-O-Meter wasn't properly calibrated. I didn't see enough of Reaper, but what I did see made me want to see more.

The Dad-O-Meter did come through on one more essential point. As I fell asleep, I kept hearing James Nesbitt's Ulster accent, intoning, "YES, DAAAHDDY!"

Not a one of these shows has the slick, scary, pulsing originality, "I wouldn't dare sleep through this" as Jekyl. Not a one.

Madder

REMEMBER THE OLD Peanuts cartoons where Snoopy would do a happy dance for joy?

Cue up the Vince Guaraldi...

New York - NY, September 24, 2007 - AMC announced today that it will renew Mad Men for a second season continuing the network's mandate to deliver a distinctive viewing experience through cinematic-quality original programming. Created, written and executive produced by Matthew Weiner (Executive Producer/Writer, "The Sopranos"), Mad Men follows the personal and professional lives of New York advertising execs circa 1960. Lionsgate (NYSE: LGF), the leading independent filmed entertainment studio, produces the series. Season one's finale will be on Thursday, October 18th at 10PM EST.

Corner Gas: The Writers Speak!

SEASON FIVE of Corner Gas, which begins tonight on CTV in Canada (9:30 pm -- new time, following Dancing With the Stars) brings a few important behind the scenes changes to Dog River.

But first of all, let's give credit where credit is due: a Canadian sitcom is entering its fifth season, as a broad based popular hit.

As many as two million people watch every week, out of a nation of about thirty million. Subtract the seven million people who speak French as a first language and you're talking two million from a possible audience of 23 million. That's like 26 million people tuning into a comedy show in the USA. Math may be hard, but it doesn't lie.

If you're trying to make the argument that Canadians don't want to watch Canadian TV, Corner Gas is a most inconvenient truth. (People darker than me, for instance, might wonder why, if you go to CTV's site today, you'd be hard pressed to find any banner headlines, or well-publicized links to promote the fact that their most popular homegrown show premieres tonight. Not on the Etalk daily page, not on the main CTV page. I'm sure that's just an oversight, right?)

Corner Gas also managed, earlier this year, to spark a very un-Canadian showbiz bit of news: a talent raid. Two writers from Corner Gas, Showrunner Paul Mather, and 4th Season Story Editor Rob Sheridan, were lured to rival network CBC's Little Mosque on the Prairie, a show that posted an average of a million viewers a week.

This fall, Canadians will be in the strange position of being able to choose between two hit homegrown sitcoms that take place in Saskatchewan.

Corner Gas ended its fourth season with its highest seasonal ratings ever, and with an appearance by Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. In a whimsical episode, the writers teased the end of the series, for a moment suggesting that maybe Brent was selling the station, and Lacey was moving back to Toronto.

Luckily that turned out all to be a bad daydream of Hank's.

The following interview with two of the show's writers, new Showrunner Kevin White, and Producer and O.S. (Original Showrunner) Mark Farrell, is a combo of two conversations. You can hear the full conversation with Mark as part of the current TV, Eh? podcast. The interview with Kevin was conducted via email, from the Corner Gas set in Rouleau, Sask.

DTOS: You now have something on Corner Gas you haven’t had for awhile – turnover, with two of your writers going to Little Mosque. Are there any other changes we should expect from the show this fall?

MARK FARRELL: Well to be fair I was heavily involved in April through June, but Kevin White really was the Showrunner this year. I think it’s a good thing, actually, I know you’ve blogged about this too. We had a chance to bring in Norm Hiscock, who’s a great writer, and Gary Pearson, another really good writer, and shake things up, change some of the dynamics of the writing.

KEVIN WHITE: Obviously new writers bring different tastes and experiences to the show and that helps generate stories we haven't done before. For example, Norm knew this guy his own age who knit. And he would sit around knitting in social situations, just nodding, saying 'uh-huh' as others talked. Norm thought it'd be funny if Hank did that and it became an episode.

MF: Kevin brought a different style to the room than Paul had, to meetings and stuff.

KW: Mostly it means I get called Paul a lot. Also I have more meetings. As show runner, you run the story department, and work with all other departments to make sure what's in the script gets shot the way the writer intended - that includes checking out all the props, wardrobe, new sets being built, etc. Basically you're around to answer questions like, "Is that hat yellow enough?", "Does this rubber hammer look real?" and "When's Paul coming back?"

DTOS: Is there any opportunity to put your own stamp on the show at this point, Kevin, or is it pretty much already established?

KW: The universe of Corner Gas is well established. Which is good. It's a good universe. So as far as stamps go, I'm not out to change it. But we (the writers) did consciously try to explore sides of characters wehadn't seen as much - Emma being unsure of herself, or Oscar not hating everything, or Lacey asserting herself more as a local. And we avoided any new stories concerning hair.

MF: I’m actually looking forward to seeing Mosque, to see what Paul and Rob and Greg Eckler and the other writers bring to that.

DTOS: So we don’t have some kind of big Canadian Saskatchewan-set series smackdown coming? There’s no Biggie-Tupac rivalry coming here?

MF: We might do that more on 22 [This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Farrell's other show, which competes with fellow CBC topical comedy show The Rick Mercer Report] than on Gas.

KW: I don't think there'll be a throw down. Mostly because I don't know what that means. I'm very square. But the two shows seem very different to me. The muslim characters we've added are different. The mosque Brent joins is different. So I think audiences can enjoy both without thinking oh, one show is copying the other.

MF: It is odd how Regina has become the promised land of Canadian comedy. It’s one of those weird things. Gosh, if people are just going to watch Canadian TV and not say it’s crappy, that’s good.

DTOS: Kevin, can you tease us with any other plot elements from the new season?

The one where Brent works in the gas station is pretty funny. And there's another one where Oscar gets cranky. Other than that the season opener involves everyone trying to make a cable access show. In other episodes Oscar and Emma buy a craftmatic bed which affects Emma romantically. Hank starts using his dirty truck as a notepad. Brent dares Oscar to stop using the word jackass. And Lacey gets naked.

DTOS: The other big change this year, I guess, is that Gas goes to syndication in the U.S. this fall, on WGN. Do you approach that with any kind of trepidation? Are you excited? Do you think they're going to get it?

KW: I'm excited about it. The U.S. press has been positive and it's quite different than other shows on American TV. Just watching WGN promos for it, you see grain elevators and prairie stretching forever, and you think, that's kind of cool. In Canada it's easy to take Saskatchewan for granted but when you see it like that in the middle of all this American programming, it stands out. I hope they like it. Especially Season 5.

MF: Anecdotally, I’ve got some relatives in Wisconsin and, I think it’s going to play well, especially in the flyovers. I don’t know how it’s going to go over in NY or Los Angeles and stuff, but I don’t think Dog River is that different than places in Indiana or Wisconsin or Michigan…WGN is great.

It seems like it’s a good fit. There haven’t been a lot of [hit] half hour comedies in the States.[lately] And even though this is a single camera, it kind of has a three-camera feel in terms of tone. So I think it could do okay, actually. How’s that for a vague answer? “I think it could do okay, actually.”

DTOS: A very Canadian answer.

MF: There you go.

Podcast, Ho! Features Corner Gas' Mark Farrell

DIANE OF Unifed Theory of Nothing Much and TV, Eh? has produced her 2nd Canadian TV Podcast. This one's chock full of Fall Preview goodness, and in honour of tonight's fifth season premiere of Corner Gas, it also features my interview with Corner Gas and This Hour Has 22 Minutes Producer/Writer Mark Farrell.

Later today I hope to get a transcript up of part of that interview, along with questions I asked of new Corner Gas showrunner Kevin White.

Gas returns to CTV tonight at 9:30 pm (new time!) Earlier seasons are running in the USA on the WGN Superstation at the following times:

• Monday - Thursday 12a ET
• 2 episodes - Wednesdays 8p ET
• Friday 2:30a ET
• 2 episodes - Sundays 11:30p ET

It's Not That the Grass Is Greener, It's That No One Seems To Know How To Make a Decent Lawnmower on a Budget Anymore.

FOR GREAT insider buzz on the anxieties fueling the-just-underway TV season, check out this Slate article by Kim Masters. Crazy budgets are making everyone, well, crazy.

Now, here's one of those rare cases where I can frame something for two totally different audiences: the fifteen or so American readers I haven't yet alienated with all the Canadian TV talk, (Q: Who the fuck is Jim Shaw? A: He's a gay porn star in Canada. Note: Not really) and those Canadians who look down to L.A. as the Yellow Brick Road.

As she riffs off the current climate and picks up the baton of the Kim Masters article, Kay Reindl at Seriocity says something that almost knocked me off my chair:

Why is it such a struggle to adhere to a budget?

I have no fucking idea. But I think part of the problem is in the selling of the show. When networks and studios open for the development season, it's sort of like shopping. You've already bought stuff but you're tired of that stuff now. You've seen he limitations of last year's iPod. You're looking for the next generation. So that's sort of the mindset of these executives. NOW they're gonna make their names, with a show that YOU are going to pitch! It's SO exciting! Can't you just feel it??? So people come in to pitch. And the only way to distinguish your pitch from the eight zillion other pitches is to, well, distinguish it. Make it splashy. Cool. EXPENSIVE. This is an EVENT, network and studio peoples!! So they buy said expensive, splashy shows. And then the studios, in their effort to distinguish their shows to the networks, give pilots enormous budgets. Like, ten million dollars worth of budget. Two weeks to shoot. It's nirvana.

So you've gotten two weeks to make your pilot and ten million dollars with which to make it. Naturally, your show looks HOT. It's slick. It's wonderful. And the test audiences are absolutely floored. Why, it's like watching a MOVIE! I love this! So your show gets picked up.

Now, you have seven or eight days to make each episode. And around two and a half million bucks, if you're lucky. How the hell can you make your show for less than a THIRD the budget? Welcome to this year's fall schedule. This seems to be what's happening, what's going wrong with all of these shows. They're simply not constructed to be made for these budgets. And this is making the networks very, very cranky. They want their action bionic show. They want their TweeVee pie maker show. They want their vampire detective show. But the studios can't pay for them.

Obviously, something needs to change. I hope this year makes everyone realize that but based on what they're buying, it probably won't. It'll still be about pilot as sales tool. What they SHOULD do, if they had any balls, is order shows to series instead of to pilot. When they've got the scripts they want to consider for series, order five scripts. Then they'll see if the show is sustainable. Based on that (which will cost FAR less than a ten million dollar pilot), they can order shows to series. That way, you'll get a realistic series budget. Your pilot won't feel like an entirely different show. You will already have to adhere to a series budget in order to make your pilot.

They can still have upfronts, too. Just move everything up. Have the scripts in by February. Order your shows. Make the pilots, for reasonable budgets, and then go off to New York and prance around for the advertisers. It would also make life easier for showrunners and executives trying to staff these shows. Because the staffing would already be done by the time the pilots are greenlit.

They will NEVER do this, but it's something to think about.

Okay, my fellow Canadian creatives...get off the floor.

I KNOW!

We've just started making Pilots, and she's saying the problem is the American TV industry should be doing things more like...um...they've usually been done in Canada! Ordering shows to series based on script alone?

AAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaAAAGh!


Goldmannnnnnn!

Damn you and your Nobody Knows Anything!!

I'm going to go rock foetally now.

What "Your Stories" Say About You.

ALLESSANDRA STANLEY has a lovely essay in Today's NYTimes about TV. I think her point about TV usurping Music is dead on. The whole article's worth reading.

It’s a rich television age and a demanding one. The selection is now so plentiful and fragmented and good. And deciding among hundreds of channels, on-demand options, DVR, Internet streaming and iPhones requires so much research, planning and commitment that viewers have become proprietary about their choices. Alliances are formed, and so are antipathies. Snobbery takes root. Preferences turn totemic. The mass audience splintered long ago; now viewers are divided into tribes with their own rituals and rites of passage.

A favorite show is a tip-off to personality, taste and sophistication the way music was before it became virtually free and consumed as much by individual song as artist.

Before the Internet, iPhones and flash drives, people jousted over who was into the Pixies when they were still a garage band or who could most lengthily argue the merits of Oasis versus Blur. Now, for all but hardcore rock aficionados, one-upmanship is more likely to center around a television series — like metaphysical clues buried in “Lost,” whether the current “Battlestar Galactica” is an affront to the 1978 original (some bloggers sneeringly refer to the current incarnation as Gino, short for “Galactica in name only” ) or who discovered “Flight of the Conchords” when it was a comedy team performing in concerts, not an HBO series.

Television used to be dismissed by elitists as the idiot box, a sea of mediocrity that drowns thought and intelligent debate. Now people who ignore its pools and eddies of excellence do so at their own peril. They are missing out on the main topic of conversation at their own table.

OH and look. mmm. Tina Fey.

Oedipus Rex: Or Where a Simple Toy Teaches Our Hero About Drama and Fridge Logic and the Perils of the Internet

MEET REX. Rex is an I-Dog : an electronic device with LED lights on its nose. A tiny microphone inside, and a headphone jack mean that Rex reacts to music you play to him. That's how you feed him. In return for a bit of music, Rex will display patterns of lights, move his ears, and bark. Occasionally he'll play a jaunty little tune. Like the long-ago Tamagotchi craze, Rex is interactive, in the sense that he demands attention, "learns" and has different moods depending on how you interact with him.

Someone very cool who clearly has my number sent me Rex for my birthday. I opened up his box this morning, expecting it to be the HDMI cable I ordered from Best Buy. Imagine my surprise.

I've been playing with Rex all morning, as I read the paper and drink coffee. I've got the XM Radio on, and I've been switching between singer songwriter stuff, hip hop, blues, alt country, jazz, and punk to see the different ways Rex reacts. And he does react differently to different types of music. Sometimes he even dances.

Clearly, Rex is a good boy.

What's that?

Oh, I know.

Rex actually has a computer chip inside, and a microphone that reacts to sound waves and converts those sound waves to trigger certain sequences of LED's because of some algorhythm. Rex's barks are a recording. And his motions are motor-driven.

Now, that being said, if you diss my dog again, I'll fucking kill you.

See, I've wanted a dog for a while now. Dogs and writers just seem to go together. Sadly, I don't feel like getting a dog that looks more like a rat, and the condo I live in is too small and cluttered for a satisfyingly- sized doggie. So I've put off the dog until the next time I move.

I know all this, and the stuff about Rex being an electronic device from Hasbro, and yet within a few minutes, I'm reacting to this toy like, you know, it really is a dog. Like its mood is a mood, and not a program.

See, we humans are programmed to react to things. And pretend, and buy into things that we know in our hearts aren't real. In school, one of the first literary techniques you learn about is the concept of personification.

But it goes beyond that. Way beyond. We take steps to buy into things that we know are not true every single day.

On Facebook, I've added this dumb zombies application. I have a zombie army. Recently they introduced fighting. Now, I know that the fighting is just mathematically determined, that there's no skill and nothing going on there. But yet, I have a complex series of moves I do when I lose a fight. I fight weaker opponents in order to amass a few wins before I can take on the next, stronger opponent. (By the way, in this context, "taking on the next opponent" really means clicking the mouse twice.) I know this helps me win more, even though I know it has nothing to do with me winning more.

Confused?

Okay, what about this? Steve Jobs constantly fields queries from people who insist that the Ipod has some super secret proprietary algorhythm that somehow knows exactly the right song to play next when you shuffle. Seriously, otherwise, how would it know to follow up "I Wish it Would Rain?" with "Aint No Sunshine?" I mean, come on.

The idea of randomness, true randomness, is so scary to us in most contexts that we will jump through all manner of hoops in order NOT to face it. I've sat through many dates where I got to hear all about horoscopes -- and people (okay, sorry about this, but it's mostly true) women -- explain why this and that means this and that and the other, and besides the fact that maybe being born at a certain time in the year influences your behavior slightly -- come on, deep down, you know it's all bullshit. But try saying that to a believer.

(And yes, yes, I know my atheist friends will insist this applies equally to all manner of religious faith too, but I'm not going there, a) because I'm a once and, let's face it, probably future Catholic boy, and b) because I think so long as faith is kept personal and not put out in the world in an attempt to codify or judge the behavior of others, hey, it's nobody's damn business but your own.)

The net result of our incredible fear of randomness is that we look for patterns in everything. We try to make sense of things. Our minds fill in the blanks. So we see shapes and animals in clouds of water vapor. So we look at multicolored dots in the newspaper and see them as an image.

It's a good thing we do this, because if we didn't, I wouldn't have a job. And storytelling for film and TV wouldn't exist.

When you watch a TV show, you intuit a lot. You follow narrative, you fill in blanks. You follow clues, and search for the pattern. If it's a hero journey, you identify with the quest. If it's a mystery, you try to figure it out.

Your audience will work with you to understand the story. They're desperate to do it, they're looking to be entertained, to learn something, to distract themselves from the randomness.

So as storytellers, we do a little dance. Our job, whichever crafty technique we use, is to give enough detail, to provide enough information or imagery or character or data so that our audience deciphers our pattern. They work to fill in the blanks we've left and get to the end.

Now, I've said before -- there's all sorts of stuff we have to do to make that work within the frame of the restrictions of the medium: whether that me a limited number of sets, or the 43 minute running time, or a small budget.

Stories use coincidence, they use shorthand to hide exposition, they use recognizable tropes to signal things to the audience that you don't want to take the time to explain because the meat of the story -- the thing that people are going to enjoy -- lies elsewhere.

"Fridge logic" is a much maligned and misunderstood term outside the TV writing community. Technically, it's those small details that won't bother the audience until later, the ones that if they think about them at all -- it's a half hour later when you're at the fridge making a sandwich and you go, "hey, wait a minute."

Arguably, the most famous example of "fridge logic" are the Letters of Transit in Casablanca. Think about it. If they get those letters, Ilsa and Lazlo are free -- the letters can't be rescinded, they can't even be questioned!

That's actually said in the movie.

They can't be questioned. By the Nazis. In WWII.

Riiiight.

There's a moment in the construction of every drama script where you have to decide, and discuss, whether you need to explain or justify something, or whether you can just let it slide. The problem is that every thing you explain takes time. And if you take the time to explain, you have less time for story, and emotion -- which is what people buy into. If you err on the side of explaining too much, your story becomes like a hull with lots and lots of crusty barnacles clinging to it. You can't slide through the water gracefully anymore -- you're this big, ungainly, crusty thing.

I'm not trying to excuse bumps here -- bumps are things that take your audience out of the story...and woe betide someone who tries to excuse something that's actually a bump as fridge logic." If you jar your audience out of their state of willing disbelief, they stop filling in the patterns you want them to fill in. And they start looking for fault.

But the thing you must keep in mind is this: People want to believe things. They want you to fool them. They WANT to see patterns -- they're programmed for it. In a very real sense, they are more on your side than you (or even they) think they are.

But...

(Man, if you didn't know that was coming then I'm afraid you've missed the DTOS pattern.)

The social ramifications of some of the TV discussion sites, like Television Without Pity can be serious for a writer who's just starting out, or even for those of us who've been doing it for awhile.

Because TWOP and some of these other sites reverse the dynamic that's at play in the wider audience.

See, rather than doing what the majority of people do when they watch -- try to buy in, try to see the pattern, try to fill in the blanks -- a lot of the posters on these sites watch to find fault, so that they have something to snark about.

It's the difference between meeting your friend's new girl or boyfriend, and your ex's new love. In the case of the former, you're going to do whatever you can to find the parts of that person you like. You want to buy in because you want your friend to be happy. In the latter case, you're looking for any fault you can possibly find because hating that person is going to make you feel better about yourself.

Yes, I'm aware that I just called the posters on TWOP bitter exes.

Give me a minute to coil out some more rope --

The peculiar socialization rituals of online messageboards mean you can earn bonafides for being critical. Or even overly critical. You saw something first. You're building yourself up and tearing them down. So, yeah, those LOST writers sure are stupid, because they completely missed this inconsistency...

...now, some of the time whatever they point to will be apt. It may indeed be a flaw in the writing. Or it may be one of those things that happen in production. The director didn't direct the scene the right way, or the actor didn't bring it or any one of a number of things.

But more often than not the thing that they're pointing to is either an absolutely concrete case of fridge logic -- ie: if you weren't watching to LOOK for a fault, it wouldn't bother you -- or it's not a fault at all.

Come on, it wouldn't be the first time somebody found fault when one wasn't there.

I'm amused and amazed when I read a post from someone pointing out a "fault" that shows a complete lack of understanding of a) history, b) society, c) science, d) logic, e) human nature, f) relationships (I could keep going to zz but I'm already bored.)

So why do I read these posts? Why do they fascinate me? Well, because I'm hooked. Hooked by how the way people critique things always reveals more about their character than the work they're critiquing. I think you probably get a pretty good, if not complete, picture of me and how I think from the entries on this blog. Roger Ebert is pretty knowable through his reviews and opinions, I think. So is John Doyle. Anyone who posts regularly on any site related to TV is no different.

If you started writing after the rise of the net and these sites, then you've got to work extra hard to insulate yourself from the deleterious effects of nitpicking criticism. It's a social expression of a community way more than it's a useful learning tool. If you use the kind of dissection you see on TWOP as a baseline when you're constructing story, you are never going to get anywhere. You will spend way too much time trying to bullet proof your story, adding barnacle after barnacle of explanation that doesn't matter to the 90% of the audience that doesn't derive some self-esteem from complaining about Jack or Sawyer or that girl with the short haircut on Cold Case.

Just remember: most people want to see the dog.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Rex is geting antsy.

Q & Eh

THE PODCAST from my appearance on CBC Radio's Q, yesterday, is now up at Itunes. Thrill to Tara Thorne and I talking the new fall season, and the effect all the leaked pilots may or may not have had on it.

Swoon as Tara poo-poohs nerds, and I remind Jian that nerds playing videogames managed to create a multibillion dollar industry that's now bigger than film and TV put together.

It's the Thursday, Sept 20th podcast, and the fun with me starts at about 14:30.

Indulge Me

BECAUSE. This is probably the only way a picture of a cat could ever appear on my blog.

Am I posting the cat? No, friends, no.


I am merely shilling for the unmitigated brilliance that is Internet Sensation Cute With Chris.

It's The Little Things

I'VE HAD my name on a Call Sheet before, but for some reason, this is just cooler.
What a great crew!

Prep: Days Two and Three And Four

WELL THAT got away from me. See, that's the problem with Prep. You get busy.

Day Two of the prep of my episode had two major components for me.

The first was the Concept Meeting. This is the first big meeting where the producers, the writer of the ep, the A.D.'s and Art Dept and Locations sits down and gets their first look at the Production White Draft. The 1st A.D. walks through the script, scene by scene, basically giving a precie of what goes on in the scene. If there's things like props that will take a while to form, or stunts, that's noted. Sometimes it's unsure whether the people in the scene need to be actors or not -- they may not have a line, but are they really an extra -- or do they have to do something specific again and again (in which case, they're probably going to be upgraded to actor.) An extra really is someone just in the BG. If they do something like, oh, I don't know, dance or juggle or something, then they're a special skills extra. If the director's going to give them a specific action (ie: if they're not cued as background by the A.D.'s) then they're an actor. If they get more than five lines, then suddenly they're a principal. It all adds up.

The capable assistant to our producer Brian Dennis, Alex House, produced these notes from the meeting. This gives you a flavour for the kinds of things talked about.While, or soon after the concept meeting, the A.D.'s release their first Board of the show. The board is the idea based on the Initial Location Scout of how you're going to shoot the bastard. The trick is to get a certain percentage of the show onto your standing sets, and then to find the locations in such a way that you make up whatever your shooting days are and get it done in time.

It's math. But it's also voodoo. And here's the problem: You need to shoot a certain number of pages a day, yes. You have a certain number of days to shoot a script. And you have to fit it all in.

On a show like The Border, that can be even more challenging, because we've established a shooting style that is very fast, with a lot of cuts. A lot of cuts means more angles which means more setups which means you can shoot less in a day. But your episode has to be 43 minutes. And you only have X days. See the headache? Something's always gotta give.

We've found after a few episodes that because of our pacing, scripts need to be about 60 pages, give or take. You go too much under that and you can't make it to 43 minutes. Too much above -- too many scenes, and the board doesn't work.

On The Border, we generally shoot eight days per episode. Now, in the beginning we shot a couple of eps that shot for nine days. My first ep -- also the first show they shot post-pilot, was nine days. Then you also have to add in days for Second Unit shooting. Our show is set in various places across Canada. So we did a day of shooting in Vancouver last week. And we've been to Ottawa to shoot exteriors around the Parliament Buildings and recognizable landmarks.

That means that some of our episodes have to be seven days. My ep that's prepping now is our first one of those.

But when they did the first board -- the seven day version just looked...silly. There was no way that they were going to make those days. They worked up an eight day schedule, but the truth is that I deliberately broke, crafted the story and wrote it in such a way where there's high stakes drama but not a lot of stunts, and fewer locations.

The "production value" in the script comes from acting, and meaty scenes, and some stuff like populated scenes with extras, and Playback elements like TV and stuff.

If we couldn't get this puppy down to seven we were in trouble.

So that becomes a challenge for the Pink Draft -- cut scenes, combine others. Simplify and pare down so it becomes more manageable.

After the Concept meeting, I went with the Director to a Casting Session for our guest leads. Saw a bunch of great actors who gave great reads.

I kind of always feel bad for actors when they come in, but the more I go to casting, the more I really do appreciate the professionalism of those who really readily prepare, and the more ashamed I am of those long ago days when I went on auditions for, like, five minutes. What was I thinking?

The great thing about casting for the writer, especially when there's a time crunch, is generally they're reading off an earlier draft. Which is good and bad. Bad because it doesn't necessarily reflect where the script is now. Good, because no matter how good the actors are, when you hear a scene or two twelve or thirteen times, you start to really fucking hate it.

Anyway. Saw some good people. That was fun.

Day Three of Prep

Was my white whale.

The script is out to actors now, and the Director has given me his first thoughts, and some of those thoughts are really sharp for story. There's some stuff missing in the arcs of some of the characters through the piece. There's a few beats that were left over from the 1st draft that don't seem necessary now. And there are others that just don't work.

This is despite the fact that the feedback from the network on this script has been GREAT. Good suggestions, not too hard to implement, all in the service of making it clearer and more dramatic.

But today the story department sits down to try and come up with a direction for the pink draft.

And it's a brutal meeting.

Six hours.

There are lots of interruptions, lots of discussion about beats that may be missing, and beats that might be tried, things that might be made clearer or better. And there are also all those ideas that came out of the concept meeting the reality of trying to get that board down to seven days.

It's an interesting position to be in when you're the episode writer, when you're on staff. It requires you to be nimble. On the one hand, you know the story better than anybody else -- so some of the suggestions are going to be things you already tried and didn't work, or things that maybe screw up other parts of the story.

On the other hand, remember that "knowing the story really well" isn't necessarily an advantage. The people you're writing it for, after all, are only ever going to see it once. You can talk yourself into things -- Oh this is clear, oh no one will care about that -- and some of it is wishful thinking. You have to respect bumps -- when people don't buy something and think something is illogical, often they're right. I'd say especially when it's coming from your colleagues in the story department, they're probably more right than wrong.

Then there are other notes, the ones we call, 'different and not better.' That's the reality of the business -- no one will write things exactly the same, and there can be a great spectrum of difference on what constitutes improvement and what is just...different.

Somebody I worked for once described working for one of the legendary guys in the Canadian business (an L.A. dude, natch) and said that the secret to surviving notes sessions with him was that you had to defend your idea, or try to get it across three times -- so you didn't feel like a hack. But at the end of the day, the buck stops with the showrunner. They're going to do what they're going to do. You have to have the personality that can accept that.

I am a fierce advocate for my stuff, but at the end of the day, I know that what I write isn't exactly handed down on stone tablets. If three people are telling you something, you better do it, schmuck. Even if two have got a bee in their bonnet about something -- I suggest you take the note.

Being tired, irritable, under the gun -- all of this can increase the stress of a story meeting. And when the producers are being pulled in every direction at the same time, well...you're gonna go slow.

So it was that I sat down to pump out the pink at five pm.

I finished about six hours later, and sent the script to the story coordinator to be checked out and published in the morning.

I left on day three of prep, having worked a 14 and a half hour day. It. Happens.

I'm single. There are people -- on this show -- who do this and have wives and children. Seriously, if you're lazy or don't want to play that way -- best not to suit up.

Day Four of Prep

There's all sorts of stuff going on around me, but I take the morning to dog it a bit. When the draft's ready to go out, I get called by Sarah, my fellow writer, who's helping to get the draft out with the story coordinator. She runs a couple of mistakes by me that, in my fatigue I missed -- including one that blew a runner where a character kept getting a name wrong. The point of the last scene was that he got the name right...showing he learned.

I wrote the wrong name in. Heh heh. Fun.

I go into the office and do the best possible thing you can do when you're in this state -- think about someone else's story! In this case, Sarah and I sit down and start spitting a bit to come up with beats for her next script. It's just what I need.

The draft is out. I see the Director later in the day - he gives me thumbs up on the changes. Two of the actors call me to say they loved the script -- and they're talking about the last draft -- which in the way of the writer -- I now hate hate hate because all it does is reveal my hackery and imperfection.

Tomorrow, we see how that board's doing, and I start thinking about the Blue Draft.

So it goes, man. So it goes.

Parity in Quirkiness!

WELL, GREAT! The Canadian Dollar this morning hit parity with the U.S. Greenback for the first time since November 1976. This is, of course, great news for the Canadian Film and TV industry.

I'm kidding, of course. Like a lot of industries, our sector has leaned pretty heavily on the fact that currency made it cheaper to shoot here. So Thanks, W, you Rat Bastard! Way to Tank the Economy!

Now that we've lost our advantage, I guess the only thing we can take solace in is the fact that at least we're getting all those consumer goods cheap...

...oh wait. We're not. Right. Retailers and manufacturers haven't passed much (if any) of the savings on to me. Ah well. I guess there's always Amazon.com.

This morning Russell Smith in the Globe & Mail has an interesting column about U.S. cultural quirkiness, which riffs off an article by Michael Hirschorn in this month's Atlantic. It's interesting because, of course, quirky for quirky's sake has traditionally been a Canadian film and tv development ... uh ... quirk. From Smith's article:

The article has provoked condescending reaction, predictably, among the kind of person who spends a great deal of time arguing on Internet forums - that is, exactly the kind of contemporary hipster to whom quirk is most likely to appeal. Their objections focus mostly on Hirschorn's bathetic conclusion - that another American comic movie about urban life is the serious art to which we should aspire.

But they have also been railing against Hirschorn's job: He is a vice-president for programming of the television network VH1. That means he has overseen such reality television as Flavor of Love and The Surreal Life. He has apparently been a driving force behind a series called So NoTORIous, starring Tori Spelling. In indie culture, a guy producing Tori Spelling vehicles just has no credibility, no right to make any pronouncement on culture at all.

Interestingly, of all the movies and books Hirschorn names as examples of this trend, only one is not American (it's Mark Haddon's novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time). Clearly, this quirk thing is a trend in American art, but it's never named as such, even by Hirschorn's detractors. It's just called art.

This relentlessly narrow vision is familiar to any observer of culture: Those inside the United States tend to see its culture as culture, period. It's frustrating, but it's the way it is. (And frequently Canadian observers see the world this way too, which I find sad. Surely one of the great advantages of being Canadian is to be conscious of the rest of the world?)

That last sentence -- honestly -- is probably the prime reason why, with all the bullshit, I stay in Canada to work. Not the point of view that I currently see represented in a lot of our cultural output -- that's still a little narrow, a little too reactionist, a little too ... quirky ... but because of the potential POV we could bring to the world. Harold Innis. McLuhan. Both Canadian. Coincidence? I say, nay.

But anyway, now that we have quirky parity with our southern neighbours, I expect a Wes Anderson - Atom Egoyan Summit, where we discuss the new synergistic terms where we'll all stick it Hollywood together...in the name of the great almighty twee!

Parity for the dollar, liking a Russell Smith column -- it's truly dogs and cats sleeping together time.

Meanwhile, another article I cadged from the increasingly invaluable Tv, Eh? website goes sideways off the same riff -- with a special guest starring role from everyone's favourite screenwriting guru curmudgeon, Robert McKee:

Basically, McKee said English-Canadian film and television is currently a wasteland. Literature and theatre aren't doing so well either. Thanks to a combination of dark forces like the grant system, poetic prose, our fealty to all things French, cultural inferiority and a reflexive anti-Hollywoodism, we're making "art" instead of story.

But according to McKee, story is the highest art. And if Canadians want to express themselves, as storytellers, they must eschew the dark forces and embrace "classical design," storytelling as it has been understood since men and women gathered around the fire to entertain one another.

It's not as if Canadian screenwriters and producers have set out to make bad television and movies. It's tough to argue, for example, that Corner Gas is bad television: It's a huge commercial and popular success in a country unaccustomed to commercial and popular success. David Cronenberg, a Canadian, is one of the most interesting and successful directors in the world. "Since," McKee would argue, his finger in the air, "he said goodbye to the non-linear mumbo-jumbo and hello to classical storytelling."

If you've ever been to a McKee seminar, (and if you entertain any thought of writing film or TV professionally, you really should go see the show) you recognize all this. It's his whole bag. There are those near and dear to me who'll accuse your humble Stickster of being a bit...hyperbolic, shall we say, from time to time. Oh how I wish these people could see McKee up close. It's a show, it really is. But... though he's certainly, frequently an ass, from where I sit, he's also more right than he's wrong.

I'm thinking of changing my political affiliation to "story partisan."

Anyhow, John Doyle brings it all home by joining in the defense of the Trailer Park Boys against Jim Shaw.

Taking out newspaper ads to attack a successful Canadian production is the work of an oddball. If Jim Shaw doesn't like Trailer Park Boys, he doesn't have to watch it. If he loathes Trailer Park Boys and Kink, he can decline to offer the Showcase channel to his customers. But he doesn't, of course. Shaw Cable offers Showcase, along with a bundle of other channels, for $52.95 a month. Shaw obviously has some affection for the money generated by fans of Trailer Park Boys who want to see it on Showcase. In turn, he uses the money to condemn the show in newspaper ads and, by association, condemn everyone who enjoys the program.

Leave it alone, fella. We'll decide what we like to watch on TV. Then you deliver it on your cable service. If you're smart, and not the crank you appear to be.

Note to Doyle: "fatuous gasbag" has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Note to self: Is it just me or does McKee look a little like Jim Shaw? Ulp.

You know what? Let's let the Boys loose on the quirky. They'll sort it out right proper.

And then Bubbles will be nice to the kitties. Heartwarming ending. Roll credits.