Guest Post: B&B From the Gemini Trenches

BRENT PIASKOSKI & BARB HAYNES are a delightful couple at the best of times, but never moreso than when essaying a night at our national Television Awards. Here is their take on the Geminis, Night 2, Session 1 (I can't believe I just typed that.)

HE SAID: When Barb suggested we be guest bloggers for Denis on the Industry Night of the Gemini Awards, I said no. I say no a lot. “Do you want to go for a hike?” “No.” “Do you want to go for Thai food?” “No.” “Do you want to have a baby?” Well, you get the pattern. The thing about my lovely bride, though, is that she usually gets her way. We go on hikes, eat Thai food and well, we’re still working on the third. So, I agreed to report on Tuesday night’s award ceremony. What I didn’t realize about the evening was that it was going to be extremely boring. Other than the moment your category is up, the rest of the time is spent listening to people you don’t know, talk about shows you haven’t heard of. The hosts Ennis Esmer and Zoe Palmer were charming and the script was funny, but the truth is, this was mainly a night for technical awards which I don’t know a lot about. From what I gathered, to be nominated your name should be long and difficult to pronounce.

SHE SAID: To be fair, some boldface folks were in attendance: director Michael Mabbott, voice actor Dwayne Hill, writers Jeff Biederman, Matt Maclennan, Tassie Cameron and Cal Coons, and actors Ashley Leggatt, Michael Seater, Stacey Farber and Paula Brancatti. But forget about walking the red carpet. You know your awards won’t be telecast when you trudge up a filthy, baby-blue ShamWow at the front of the building. And although winners in kids and teen shows were honoured, the night belonged to the techies: visual effects, picture editing, sound, and photography. That being the case, I feel Scarlett Johansson or Tim Riggins should’ve handed out the hardware as erotic compensation. At the very least, a presenter could’ve disrobed.

HE SAID: I did not realize until Monday afternoon that our particular ceremony was being held in the afternoon. Seriously, 4:30 drinks and dinner? I haven’t eaten this early since my parents took me to Applebee’s. I also didn’t realize that there was a second ceremony after ours. Yes, we were the opening act for another awards show. The Geminis – Awarding Excellence in Canadian Television... NEXT! I think after the second ceremony, The Tragically Hip was playing.

This year, in an effort to save time, they gave out awards in blocks of two. This meant that two winning parties would come up and give their speeches consecutively. I’m sure it saved time but it was also awkward. I understand next year they are going to start the show with all the nominees on stage, then pick off the losers one by one with a high-powered rifle.

SHE SAID: I was most entertained by what shows were nominated against each other. Could you pick the best main title sequence between The Aboriginal Awards, Flashpoint, Grossology and The Beijing Olympics? I mean, someone did (they picked Flashpoint) but how is the opening to a drama series better than blobs of cartoon phlegm or displays of athletic brilliance? Throughout the night, reality shows were up against tween shows which were up against pre-school animation, and it seems everything was up against that homegrown Canadian classic The Tudors. I think we all remember the very special episode where Henry VIII chopped off Anne of Green Gables’ bright red head. For the record, nobody was up against Corner Gas but we all know that story, don’t we?

HE SAID: My show The Latest Buzz was nominated in two categories: Best Youth Series and Best Writing (Sean Jara). Sean was not there because he was in Paris. Don’t worry, he wasn’t working – just proposing to his new fiancée, writer Alexandra Zarowny. I think it was a smart move, Sean, because you lost to an adorable animated Rabbit. If you found this out on top of the Eiffel Tower you might have jumped.

SHE SAID: I’ll step in here to say we’re both fans of animation, and My Friend Rabbit may be a delightful show. But preschool cartoons shouldn’t be up against live-action tween shows. It’s like hosts of morning kids’ programs competing against toy trucks – which has happened before. And the truck won. I’d also like to point out that damn bunny was born in Kenya and shouldn’t even count as Can-Con.

HE SAID: In the best series category, Life with Derek was the winner. I’m happy for them. It’s been a huge hit for four years. Sure I wanted to win, but good people work on that show and I congratulate them. Hopefully, next year I’ll be the guy on stage holding the Gemini, and the nominee beside me will be the one felled by a sharp-shooting sniper.

SHE SAID: It’s been a great visit, but it’ll be nice to head back to LA. First up: some hiking, a little Thai food, and as for number three, well… my mother’s still hoping.