The Scarlett Letter

WELL I WAS going to take a pass today on account of it being American Thanksgiving and me being American and all, but then this letter landed in my inbox today, and I just felt that I had to alert you all. I know that it's been printed on a couple of other sites here and there, but no one has yet thought to use the delightful play on the title of the book above. Now if you want to know who was damn sexy, that Hester Prynne was damn sexy.

Anyway, it keeps me from flipping on the TV and obsessively watching the news from Mumbai.

Let's have more conspirian, so-and-so-is a clone crazy and less making-things-blow-up crazy, hmm? That would be something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving, Americans. Be nice to your sister and your cousin and your niece and your grandfather. They can't help being that way. And at least they're not clones!

WARNING ! STOLEN BIOLOGICAL MATERIAL ! Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2007! regarding Scarlett Johansson (actress)‏
From: Serge G [EMAIL REDACTED]
Sent: November 27, 2008 3:05:11 AM
To: heywriterboy[REDACTED}
IT IS NOT A SPAM, but if you received that message second and plus time JUST CLICK DELETE button and have a nice day. Don't feel bad, please understand original Scarlett's family very desperate to shout down that humiliating antichristian "actress" clones line career development.

Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!

I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well.

Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!

Her close friend Serge G.

P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION. H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more. These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

You know, I knew there was something up with that whole, "I sent email to Obama" thing.

I bet you the whole email was in clonish. Worse, wasn't Scarlett first in Ghost World? That means Buscemi must be in on it. And the Horse Whisperer too. And when she played a clone in The Island, that was just what, some sick little in joke? Oh Michael Bay, you are one sick twist.

Anyway, enjoy your Thanksgiving.