"This Just Shouldn't Be This Hard."

I CAN'T FOR the life of me imagine what it must be like to be Maureen Parker.

Parker, Executive Director of the Writers' Guild of Canada, spends her days trying to work on behalf of this country's English language screen and TV writers. She deals with her compatriots at the Directors Guild of Canada, and ACTRA, the national Actors' Union. She lobbies the government and industry, keeps an eye on issues and cultural trends, and occasionally she even gets to spend time talking to creative people.

And ... she spends a lot of time -- probably too much -- in a meeting room in Gatineau, Quebec.

This afternoon, Parker, along with WGC President Rebecca Schecter, VP Charles Lazer and Kelly Lynne Ashton tromped off to another CRTC hearing on the future of Canadian Television. They were joined by like minded representatives from the DGC and ACTRA, including Actors Wendy Crewson and Peter Outerbridge. They sat before the commission and gave very strong presentations that deconstructed, bit by bit, the lunacy that was the CRTC's report on the Canadian Television Fund.

The points made between the three Guilds were strong. They came armed with facts and figures that proved that the Commission's strange contention, that somehow splitting the current CTF fund in two -- into a "market driven" fund and a "cultural" fund -- wasn't based in any sound business plan.

Time after time, they hammered away at the central points in their research -- that the so-called 8/10 productions that are supposed to be the savior of the Canadian industry don't attract audiences like 10/10 productions do. They challenged the assumptions that some third list, b-level U.S. star would be the magic tonic to draw Canadian audiences.

They could have made the point that from HOUSE, to FRIENDS, to LOST to SEINFELD, tv is a medium that doesn't need stars; it makes stars, and that this strange little social experiment the CRTC wanted to try -- see what happens if we cut the baby in two -- is simply another wasteful hurdle for an industry that faces too many of them already. That it would not result in more 'hits,' that it was an attempt to quantify success in a business where even the country with all the money in the world can't figure out a way to do that...

They could, and did, make the point that the talk of a "private fund" and a "public fund" was silly semantics -- since it was all, in fact, "public money" we were talking about...that in fact, all this hearing is about is who gets to hand it out -- the cable co.'s, with no record of doing this kind of thing, who don't have to compete for revenue ever in their protected markets; or the organization that has been examined, poked, prodded and charged with the task for years, the CTF. They could have made the point that rolling the dice on something knew and pulling the plug on something that, while imperfect, meets the need a little better each year was a foolhardy tinkering with a system that could not support it...

But none of those points probably would have mattered. Because judging by the questioning, the commissioners weren't really listening.

Time and again, the questioning returned to "let me just take the devil's advocate position" or "how can it be a problem to have two funds if both kinds of programs are covered?"

Tim Southam, the Director, scored a few points when he pointed out, exasperated, that suggesting that the kinds of programs he makes -- cultural programs where he struggles to take esoteric artistic disciplines like dance and make them knowable to an audience -- should be considered "cultural" and not try to appeal to an audience went counter to what he spent his days doing. It was Southam that also pointed out the peculiar situation a Canadian creative finds themselves in all the time, where you're forced to hustle out there and be the only person who's promoting your own work, because there's no one, no plan, no money behind you.

Rebecca Schecter picked up the baton and reminded everyone that Little Mosque was seen by 4 million people in its first week (over multiple viewings) precisely because there was an unusual -- almost unprecedented -- amount of promotion for it. She pointed out that, to this day, Mosque retains an audience of roughly a million -- proving that when properly promoted, these shows can score.

But through it all was the sense, the leaden feeling that everyone in the room had been there before. Wendy Crewson, Maureen Parker, they've both said most of what they said before.

They were all in that room today because a bully -- a cable mabel who's only too happy to accept his protected market -- stamped his feet and threw a tantrum, triggering this kabuki process.

And then didn't bother to show up.

It was then, near the end of the process, that Parker got this funny wistful look on her face, noticeable even through the jerky internet video. In response to yet another, "let's just play devil's advocate" question, Parker shook her head and said, "Two hundred and forty million dollars. That's what we're talking about here." For the entire Canadian industry. All TV made, and aired with CTF money. Hundreds -- thousands of hours a year. In a month where audiences checked out new shows on CBC and Global voraciously, in which CTV sold shows that haven't even been made yet, Parker pointed out that all the money in the fund was "the cost of three American feature films."

She shook her head.

"This just shouldn't be this hard."

And that's it, in a nutshell. More time, more taxpayer dollars talking about this fund and that fund and who should pay and where it should go and how many board members and culture and market, and this cable co who wants to control that pot of money and should they or shouldn't they -- all this time spent and wasted in conference rooms, going over the same old thing. Not moving forward. Covering the same well trod ground that keeps a dysfunctional industry beeping along, gasping for breath.

"This just shouldn't be this hard."

Maureen's right. It shouldn't be. And we're still talking about all the wrong things. But it looks like writers, and actors, and directors, and producers, and everyone else is going to be tromping up to Gatineau for a long time to come. Because it's not just that they don't really seem to get it. It's that it seems like they really, really don't care.

And meanwhile, all the really juicy stuff..."is this a good show? Is it bad? Why did people tune in? Why didn't they come back?" In short, all the stuff that makes shows better...well, we have to put that conversation aside again. Because it's time to go up the hill to see if we'll still be able to fetch a pail of water, come the fall.

For what it's worth, thanks for making the trip. I just wish I saw a sign that anyone was listening.