MJ & The Wicked Crooked

DAY OFF. THEORETICALLY. Today we shift to a Sunday to Thursday week with a Friday-Saturday weekend. It's something a lot of shows do because it's easier to get into locations on a Sunday that you would never be able to shoot in during the week -- an office, or a courthouse, or a bank, for instance. Even a Bar is more likely to close for you on a Sunday than, say, a Thursday.

The Story Department is also switching over, because, well, if you don't -- you kind of wind up working six days a week anyway.

So today is my weekend. And it's a gorgeous, Sunny day in St. John's. So that's something.

Except...

I have a big rewrite to do on the show after the show that's prepping now. Again, it's the third script I've passed this week. Boo hoo for me. I expect no tears -- that's the gig. But does the sun have to be quite so shiny? Does the reflection off the water have to be so beautifully brilliant?

Sigh.

In other news, I've had wearying and disconnected thoughts about the whole Michael Jackson thing and just didn't even have the energy to articulate them. Luckily, my friend Howard has. Go read his new blog, Medium Close Up on the subject. It's a bracing dose of "how the hell did we get here really?"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave this dark coffee shop now and find somewhere to set up the laptop where I can at least see the Narrows. I'm thinking The Rooms.

Enjoy your weekend.

You Aint Going Nowhere

ONE OF THE funniest things about working and living in St. John's is trying to get around, when you come from away.

It's something my friend Jeff told me just before I left Toronto. "Wait til the first time you have to ask for directions."

I didn't know exactly what he meant, but I had a slight gleaning. You look at a map of St. John's and environs and you see the million little cowpaths that make up the city's road system; eddies and gouges worn through long before motorcars or locomotion entered the equation.

Add in steep banking hills and constantly changing topography, and ... well, no, actually, it still doesn't prepare you for

Rawlins Cross. Nothing prepares you for Rawlins Cross.

The first time I found myself at Rawlins Cross, I had to pull over once I'd cleared it and have myself a good little cry.

But for the most part you learn your routes and your ways of getting places, and you never, ever, ever try to find a different way, and town isn't all that big, so you get by.

Unless you have to ask where you're going.

"Oh, if you want to get there, b'y, you gotta go up past the old church and turn left at where the Drugstore used to be; then keep going straight and when you've hit the North Atlantic station you've gone too far."

Um. Sorry?

"Yer going to go past the old Rec center, past that restaurant that used to be the Afghan place."

Are either of these things marked? The rec centre? The Afghan place?"

"Are you retarded? They're not there anymore."

Oh. Thank you.

[Drives away aimlessly and sadly]

I have been here almost three months. In that time, I've been directed to go up past the where the funeral home is, told to turn left at the "ugly green house" and told to go the address on Water Street "where the motorcycles are usually in front."

My lovely Story Coordinator, K.MacRhubarb, who will henceforth replace Jimmy the Bat in stories of yore, (Sorry Jimmy, and ladies, he's still single, and also available for work -- I can send you a resume and a glossy) just yesterday, told me about a way to get somewhere that required me to go past the "Old Zellers Mall." Now, understand, there is no Zellers in this mall. You don't describe it in terms of the name of the Mall, which is fine, because it's not like there's a sign at the mall, either.

They all know the reference points, how to get around, where to go, and the best way to get there. And they'd love to tell you, they're only too happy to do so -- but sadly, it's like that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Picard was marooned on the planet with the dude from the species who was only able to talk in metaphors that referenced his people's past history.

So, yeah, I'd really like to go find the place they're scouting to shoot Thursday, but I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to go seek out Darmok at Tanagra where the walls fell. I mean, I haven't even had a fucking coffee yet.

I started laughing about this yesterday, and one of the other writers, Perry, (co-creator of Republic of Doyle) said that he remembered being bewildered as an adult when someone asked him how many blocks away something was.

They just don't think this way. Where a road dead ends up a hill and circles around, and an intersection has four or five choices -- what's a block, anyway?

I think of my early socialization, numbered streets, East-West, where the direction changes, the grid, long New York blocks and realize anew how different your reference points can be, and how that shapes the way you relate to distance.

That still doesn't mean, you know, that an address wouldn't help now and then. Cause it's hard getting that out of people sometimes. And here's the kicker: Google Maps is wrong. Seriously. A lot of the time, their directions in St. John's suck.

Still, even if it was accurate, I'm not sure that this morning at 8'o'clock that I would have gotten much luck with putting in, "_____Scrapyard, Blackhead Road in Shea Heights on the way to Cape Spear."

I mean, Google Maps is cool. But not that cool.

Thank God the 2nd AD called as I was in my car, thinking about...I don't know... driving aimlessly till I hit a cliff.

Ah well.

You know, this is probably all because the day after they joined Confederation, we made them switch to driving on the right. Seriously. People have ways of getting back at you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a phone charger. I think I'm going to start out looking at the store by the thing on the way to the Capelin, hang a left at that place the whale beached back in 92.

Interesting Times

A SHORT BLAST from the Futon Critic brings with it many, many ripples.

LOS ANGELES (thefutoncritic.com) -- CBS has rescinded its decision to bring back "Flashpoint" this summer.

The first of nine new episodes had been set for Fridays at 9:00/8:00c starting July 17.

Network sources have confirmed the change as the Canadian import will now return at midseason. Repeats however will continue in said hour for the rest of the summer.

Now, there are several unanswered questions here that have interesting implications for the future of the "reverse simulcast" (CTV's term) model of selling-Cancon/CTF shows into the United States.

1. CBS pays a very small part of Flashpoint's budget; CTV pays a slightly bigger chunk. You and me (through the CTF, tax credits, etc) pay way more. Does CTV now have to wait til 2010 to show their hit show? Or will they forego the simulcast and choose to show the show first? Can they even do that if they want to?
2. What does this mean for the future of the show? CBS is going to delay "new" episodes for a year. But those episodes are being shot right now in Toronto. By the time they air, the production unit will have disbanded, unless there's an order for more episodes...
3. CTV has committed to more episodes; CBS hasn't. It's quite possible that CBS could call those 9 eps of FP "a new season." What happens to CTV's "3rd Season" order if CBS doesn't come in? Can they afford to make the show for less money? (FP's 1st season was 13 eps, and its second season was 18 eps. That's how they produced them. CBS (with CTV following suit) aired 9 of the first season, then delayed the back four and the first 9 of season 2 and ran them together. What we're talking about now is the "back nine" of season 2. Yes. I know it's confusing.)
4. Does this delay mean that FP will be able to find more of those rare, non-snobby writers?
5. Is it possible that the "made for America" model isn't the be all and end all that the Canadian networks and the CFTPA say it is?

Not as simple as it seems, now, is it, Doyle?

UPDATE: Playback's Amy Haggar has some original reporting today that clarifies and corrects some of the stuff in this post:

The first nine episodes of the season aired in simulcast on CBS and CTV from January through May. CBS had planned to run the remaining episodes from July into September out of simulcast. Mustos says CTV had previously decided not to air the back nine in step with the U.S. network, and instead planned to run them at some unspecified time in the fall.

A CTV spokesperson said the net has still "not confirmed its broadcast plans for the remainder of season two."

Mustos says CTV has ordered a third season of the show, another 13 hours, and there is hope that CBS will return to the series, too, which could see the third season bumped to another 18 eps.

Reprint: Sucky Canadian Broadcast Websites

Originally published 1/28/09

WHY YES, I AM having focus issues today. Gawrsh, how can you tell? Jill Golick weighs in with a short piece today on the paucity of follow-through by Canadian broadcasters on their series offerings. In her case, she picks on Canwest over Global and Da Kink in My Hair, but to be fair, neither of the other major broadcasters, CTV or CBC, do much better. In short, here's the number one disconnect in the world of Canadian TV, 21st Century style.

TV Guide or listings magazines have gone the way of the dodo in record time. Absolutely everybody under the age of about 40 now finds out program info either from some sort of on-screen menu system on their TV or through the web.

For the USA, you can go to Zap2it or Futon Critic, but the best way to find out is to go to the network site itself. There, besides streaming clips or downloads, wallpapers, docs, special web content and what have you, you're going to find the synopsis and info that you need.

Updated faithfully.

In Canada, smaller network advertising budgets are made even less effective by a haphazard strategy for getting info up on the website and keeping it updated. Back when TV listings books were the rage, you could usually count on the Canadian programs getting shafted. Half the time because they were moved to and fro or pre-empted at the last minute depending on which simulcast was being chased. But the rest of it was timeline stuff. They just wouldn't get the proper listings stuff in on time. That continues into the digital age. More than fifty percent of the time, when it's a Canadian program on my onscreen PVR menu, if the description of the show (beyond the title and the rating) comes up at all, it's usually a generic series description and not a specific episode description. The info isn't set up on time.

If there is a web page for the show, the info -- next episode, episode descriptions, pictures, whatever other stuff you might have, is usually updated haphazardly. The next page is not programmed and ready to go live after the end of the broadcast of the previous week's show. Information is wrong, or missing. Typos and misspellings are frequent. Cast information, information on the music in the show, credits, synopses, photos -- all the stuff show fans are accustomed to being able to access now -- none of it is availabe. And like Jill points out, if there is a program forum, nine times out of ten it's a ghost town without any official person designated to answer questions. If you do manage to attract fan attention, it quickly withers because they realize nobody's paying attention.

There's one other major structural thing that excacerbates this whole problem: The Bell Fund. The Bell Fund is a web/multimedia fund that you can access to partially fund a website for a TV show. The fund has way more projects trying to get funding than it has money to give out. (By about a three to one margin.) The fund also tends to favor out-there weird promotional websites that have some sort of new technology hook....webisodes or some sort of game or virtual space, or proprietary engine with all this wonderful ancillary content. You can see current examples for Canadian Shows like Being Erica or ZOS. What is often buried in this stuff, is the stuff that viewers actually want when they hear about a new show: meat and potatoes stuff like broadcast times, streams, downloads, and info. Sure, you can go on the virtual journey or share your stories or open your virtual locker or take part in a virtual interrogation or milk a virtual unicorn or something, but when is the fucker on? That's harder to find. And that's if you GET the funding. Remember, the fund is way oversubscribed. So what sometimes happens is that you get a super-flashy bells and whistles Mr. Kite Magorium Emporium Website Special for your first year, and then that disappears -- or sits unloved or un-updated for months and months afterward.

Then it comes to Season 2. And you have the big comedown. My Ex-show had that this year.

The Comedown involves the network off supporting another show, maybe one in its first season. (Remember, there are limited budgets, and Mommy has to feed the baby first.) So instead of animated dragons or hello kitty lite brite scalable profiles and virtual avatars that smack your ass and call you judy, you find yourself begging the network webmaster to change the card on the site that still says, "Season Two will return in Fall 2008!" In the case of The Ex-show, the network still holds the website, but updating is slow. So the new site -- such as it is, doesn't launch until the day of the broadcast. (And other shows on the same network have their premiere dates come and go before the site is changed.) Again, they're all like this. No company's better than any other at this stuff. They all kind of suck at it. It's low priority, and the attention to detail on a weekly basis is close to nil. From that bottom, as the show wears on, you realize that neglect before the first episode was actually the high point. Now, it's a sad and unloved death march to try to get even the simplest things changed: is the synopsis up? Is the episode title right? Have they posted the pictures from the ep? All that basic, meat and potatoes stuff doesn't get done unless you harass, harass, harass. You might be lucky, like the Ex-show, and have a savvy volunteer that keeps things moving on Facebook or tries their damndest to get the things updated on time. But it's not automatic, and it's never easy. It's quite a comedown from those heady first season website dreams. Of course, by then the web firm is on to the next Bell Funded project. It's sink or swim time, boys.

And as is our custom in the Canadian industry, we usually just sink. What there isn't, is a recognition on the part of the network that the firmament has shifted. Your website working with up to date program information when viewers want it is part of the cost of doing business. Except here it's not. They don't want to pay for it. They don't accept the responsiblity of doing it right. You hear tons of promises, which never materialize, and nobody particularly cares or thinks they're responsible.

And then they go to the CRTC and say the only way to save their business is to get carriage fees. I've been listening to Web and interactive people make promises about how the synergy between TV and the Web will work since 1994.

Seriously. Fifteen years.

The problems now are exactly the same. Nothing's gotten better. The Bell Fund, nice an idea as it is, does nothing to change that. We ignore the meat and potatoes. And then wonder why we don't get a million viewers for our shows.

If I did my job like this, in every one of the episodes that has my name under the written by, at about the 3/4 mark, actors would just turn to camera and stare, open-mouthed, for three minutes. Maybe somebody would fart. But hey, the Bell Fund deadline's coming up! Get those applications ready!

Oooh, a virtual Rock'em Sockem Dress up your virtual avatar in cheese and crinoline alternate reality roleplay with remixable clips and flash-animated build your own comic book random plotline generator, with exclusive documentary two way Ichat connectivity, XBOX-live hookup capability and echoes of MUD's running on the Grand Theft Auto engine? How delightful! When's the show on again? And who's the hot chick who plays the scientist? Oh. Okay. Thanks anyway. Wonder what's on FOX? By the bye, ZOS airs Mondays on TMN and Movie Central. Being Erica is Monday at 9pm on CBC. Da Kink in My Hair returns to Global Feb. 12. Check the volunteer-run, no Bell Funding TV-eh? site for details.

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Class Act

HEY LOOKIE HERE.

One of the hardest working story rooms in Canada gives a little love to the new kid on the block on their first day of shooting.

Those Flashpoint writers -- that's class.

I just hope that nobody finds out that the cookie delivery guy was pushed to the limit because his wife just left him -- cause I hear that shit can go south real fast.

And Away We Go

FIRST SHOT, 8:12 A.M. NT.

Here we go.