The trifecta that kills most effective writing days:
1) Lack of restful sleep
2) The need to work on several projects at once
3) Personal baggage
On those days when you have all three, (hell-oooooo, Denis...) it helps to remember some of the very basic writer tools that get us through the day:
"My dialogue is crappy and I'm feeling like maybe I'm writing a bunch of cliches..."
Solution:
Google your line in quotes. See the number of hits. If there are any, or ...thousands... you could be channeling old Mary Tyler Moore episodes. Back to the drawing board.
"I can't keep my head off the keyboard..."
Solution:
Get out and go for a walk. Of course, if you live in L.A., you're pretty much screwed. I suggest sitting on the 405 as an alternative.
"I've been stuck on a name for an hour."
Solution:
Biff for boys, Sally for girls. Go back to it later, dumbass.
"I'm a no-talent, unmitigated hack who's incapable of satisfying a woman."
Solution:
Uh oh. You're in the working writer K-hole. You need something to convince you that your talent isn't as elusive or non-existent as you think. I suggest Soap Operas...but only ten minutes' worth. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, watch something good like The Sopranos, or any of those early Mary Tyler Moore episodes. Also, if you come across Jerry Springer, turn it off. I can not stress this enough. Otherwise, you'll be looking for neckties that will support your swinging body weight as you kick off the chair.
Oh, and for the other thing? Levitra.
"It's not working. I'm still a no-talent, unmitigated hack."
Solution:
Okay...time to pull out the big guns. Reach for your well-thumbed copy of Stephen Pressfield's The War of Art.
"Okay, that's better, but it's still going so slowly. I've been working for four hours and I only have two pages."
Tough toenails. Welcome to the NFL. Sit your ass down in that chair and make the magic happen, binky.
"I've had one coffee too many and everything's shaking."
You're so totally on your own. But you may be screwed.
If you make it to six hours, I suggest the following:
Dream about being asked in effusive terms to work on Aaron Sorkin's new series.
Imagine he loves your work and doesn't rewrite your every word. Ahhhhh.
See...happy place.
2 rumbles:
Oh, dear. It sounds like you're having a pretty rough day (or week?), Denis. I had a nasty bout of writer's block back in 2003, while working on the BT bible. I went a month without writing a single word before I came upon a solution that worked wonders for me.
I had a glorious bubble bath with epsome salts, essential oils and scented foam up to my eyeballs. I lingered in the tub for over an hour in the dark, listening to New Age music with natural sounds (waterfalls, birdsong and crickets) playing in the B.G.. I drank a few glasses of my favourite wine and kept my mind off my frustration with the project. Then, after I dried off and slathered myself in moisturizer, I went back to my computer and worked for ten hours straight, doing some of the best work I'd ever done on the project.
Perhaps you could forgo the mud mask facial, Denis, but the hot bath just might help.
Or you could just insert random blog posts into one of your current writing projects and then when people ask you confusing questions, look at them like...oh forget it. At least you can write about not writing. Right now I can't even write a response to your writing about not being able to write. blargh
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